When I came to Taiwan I expected hell on the roads. Asian drivers are a nightmare in Australia and moving to a country full of them I knew it would be bad but I still didn’t quite know what to expect.

During my time cycling in Taiwan I’ve come to learn that the worst threat to cyclists isn’t the crazy bus drivers who indicate and just pull out, it isn’t the cars who just stop in the middle of the road and whack their hazard lights on while the driver goes and grabs a snack, it isn’t scooters darting in and out of traffic and it isn’t truck drivers ready to mow you down at the slightest opportunity…

No, the biggest threat to cyclists in Taiwan was worse then anything I could have ever possibly imagined…

GIANT FREAKING LOBSTER CYCLISTS!

Thankfully I didn’t happen to run into any of them during my trek down the coast but I put it down to raw luck. OzSoapbox vs. the Lobster Cyclist menace is only a matter of time.

Lobster cyclists should be considered armed and dangerous. They are prone to emerging from the sea and conducting random claw-bys. I believe the text under the sign reads “If you see giant freaking lobster cyclists RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!’

If you intend on cycling through Taiwan you’ve been warned.

1. Cyclists telling other cyclists off for breaking road rules
2. Hassan Bakr: Judge rules 40 cyclists' lives worth only $1200
3. One cyclist breaks bicycle laws, all cyclists bad
4. Young Aussie Cyclists: Lies, Autism and Abductions
5. Prospect council in SA decides no room for cyclists