For some that might be a reason to skip over the software but I figured if it was good enough for the US military then at the very least Rosetta Stone was worth looking over.

I’ve been using it for a few months now exclusively learning Chinese Mandarin for use in Taiwan (I’ll go into this later). In this post I aim to share my thoughts so far on my language learning experience.

The Rosetta Stone Learning Design

Rosetta Stone was developed by some guy called Allen Stoltzfus and was initially released in 1999. I won’t go into further details because nobody cares. What is important is that Rosetta Stone has been designed with complete language immersion in mind.

I’m currently living in Taiwan so this seemed like the logical approach to go. I’ve pretty much immersed myself in 24/7 Chinese outside of work, so why not attempt to learn in that environment too.

Let’s face it, when you’re cycling through Taiwan’s mountains with nothing more then a pannier full of water bottles, nobody is going to be coddling you along with English translations.

Using Rosetta Stone

As mentioned previously Rosetta Stone uses a total immersion method for teaching languages. Believe me when the creators say ‘total immersion learning’, they are not kidding either.

The Chinese Mandarin course is broken up into 3 levels;

Level 1 covers language basics, greetings and introductions, work and school, and shopping. Understandably at this level there is a lot of vocabulary to learn here. Although grammar is obviously used to present the vocabulary the focus at this point is primarily learning new words in Chinese.

In Level 2 you start to appreciate the Chinese grammar structure more and continue to build your vocabulary level. At this stage I found myself trying to formulate my own sentences which was a personal breakthrough for me. Topic wise level 2 covers travel, past and future, friends and social life, and dining and vacation.

Level 3 finishes off the course and primarily focuses on expanding the grammar you have learnt in the previous levels. Vocabulary at this point also becomes a lot more specialised.

The basic idea is that after completing level 3, Rosetta Stone students should have enough of an understanding and foundation in Chinese grammar and vocabulary to function verbally in day to day life.

Effectiveness of using Rosetta Stone to learn Chinese Mandarin

Whilst I’ve found the immersion method of learning Chinese Mandarin to be for the most part effective, my biggest hurdle has been the complete immersion in Chinese grammar. Anyone who speaks English and Chinese Mandarin will tell you that Chinese and English grammar rules couldn’t be more further apart.

Going into a complete immersion learning environment meant there was many times I was sitting there trying to understand the grammar presented. Not entirely sure what I was reading or listening to I had trouble or was simply unable to separate vocabulary from common grammatical phrases.

Grammar familiarity issues aside, I had no troubles picking up the vocabulary and thoroughly recommend the total immersion learning method for doing so.

Because you’re working from your pc or laptop, the lessons are able to be done at your own leisure and convenience. This was a big advantage over taking up a course at a local university or language school.

Of course there is a downside if you lack self motivation. For me not being able to order food and function in day to day life without relying on people, or being able speak to the local hot Taiwanese girls was all the motivation I needed.

Limitations of using Rosetta Stone

Although it kind of goes against the whole total immersion learning concept, I’ve found at times I was simply stuck trying to understand grammar.

To get around this I’ve found it invaluable to combine using Rosetta Stone with local language exchange. What I’ve found works best is that when I’m doing a lesson I simply write down in pinyin any grammar I don’t entirely understand and then take it to language exchange.

At my language exchange (I’m doing 2 lessons twice a week for 3 hours totalling 6), we then go over the grammar and it gets explained to me. If I’m feeling confident I then try to expand on it with the existing vocabulary I’ve learnt.

I highly recommend getting a language exchange happening for some of the more confusing grammar points. As I mentioned earlier English and Chinese grammar structure is miles apart. For a native English speaker getting your head around some of the Chinese grammar peculiarities and rules can be massively confusing.

Whilst it’s certainly possible to continue on the Rosetta Stone lessons without any language exchange (through repetition and revision you’ll probably work out certain grammar structures in time anyway), I’ve found language exchange vastly decreases learning times. This in turn lets you get on learning the language faster, rather then being stuck trying to understand a grammatical structure that initially makes no sense to you.

For me I just want to be able to talk to the locals as quickly as possible so anything I could do to cut down my learning time was in my opinion worth doing.

I’ve also found limitations with the speaking and writing components of the Chinese Mandarin course. Speaking seems to be largely useless as either my Asus EEE PC laptop microphone doesn’t seem to be up to the task of recording what I’m saying properly, or the Rosetta Stone speech recognition engine is garbage.

Skype and what not works fine on my EEE PC so I’m assuming it’s the Rosetta software itself. I obviously could invest in a headset with a stronger mic but while I’m abroad I’m mobile blogging and more equipment means more crap to haul around.

Writing in Chinese is no easy task (there are three main input systems that are all different) and seems a bit out of place when your learning grammar and vocabulary basics. I might come back to the writing component but probably not until I’ve got reading down pat.

Of course reading isn’t something I’m going to start until I’m comfortable with speaking, and that in itself is a ways off yet.

Finally there are specific limitations to learning Chinese Mandarin for use in Taiwan with Rosetta Stone. The main limitations are the various differences in how some things are said and pronounced.

Being a different country Taiwanese Mandarin varies slightly from Chinese Mandarin and the locals are only too eager to point these differences out.

One example is the prominent use of ‘ar’ at the end of many words when Mandarin is spoken by the Chinese. In Taiwan this just doesn’t exist. The first example of this I ran into was when I was doing numbers. In Chinese Mandarin ‘two’ is literally pronounced ‘arr’ whereas in Taiwan it’s pronounced ‘err’. Another example is children, the Chinese say ‘harr’ whereas in Taiwan it’s more of a ‘ha’ with only a tiny pronunciation of the ‘r’ sound at the end.

Again language exchange with a local Taiwanese is essential for uncovering these differences as you go from lesson to lesson. If you are learning Chinese Mandarin for Taiwan there’s a real danger of picking up incorrect pronounciation and then having locals fail to understand you properly.

Believe me it’s bad enough when you do speak the language properly (people here tend to listen to you with their eyes ‘there’s no way this foreigner I’m looking at can speak any Chinese’), so do yourself a favour and make sure your pronunciation is right for your region.

Overall thoughts

The Rosetta Stone package is a powerful language learning tool and I definitely could have done worse for my first attempt at electronic language learning. I found the pace of the lessons to be functionally useful and well balanced.

I had a sense of being eased into the more difficult grammatical structures which is integral to avoiding feeling overwhelmed with new information.

The portability was a big deal for me as well as being able to take lessons on my own time when it suited me. Rosetta Stone being electronic obviously fits both of these criteria.

Whilst the Rosetta Stone software package definitely has some limitations when it comes to Mandarin Chinese, with some language exchange I believe these can be quickly and effectively overcome.

As a starting point Rosetta Stone is a great way to learn basic to intermediate day to day vocabulary. whilst at the same time develop an initial understanding of foundation grammar that is easily built upon through native use of the language itself.

Confidence on Taiwan’s roads seems to be a massive problem. People will seriously half pull out of a car park and then seem to hit a ‘oh crap what do I do now?!’ mental stumbling block.

If you’re coming up behind them you’re then stuck as they’ve taken up too much of the lane for you to pass… but they’re worried you won’t stop. I’ve lost count the amount of times, even on a bicycle, that I’ve wanted to get out of the car and kick someone in the nuts. If for nothing else then just to give them a shot of confidence to pull out confidently and get what should take no more then two seconds over with.

I’ve seriously seen cars have stand offs where, regardless of who has right of way, neither party is willing to budge either out of politeness or losing face. Meanwhile the traffic backs up and everyone else is cracking the shits.

Then there’s the ‘if I’m bigger then you, you better get the hell out of my way’ attitude that exists here. Truck and bus drivers are no more confident then the rest of the drivers on the roads, they just know that if someone smashes into them they will come off second best.

As a result they don’t give a shit you were doing 60km/h down a one lane road. If they want to join the lane you’re going to stop for them whether you like it or not.

Due to the sheer universal prevalence of bad driving in Taiwan I started to wonder just what the hell was taught in Asian driving schools.

One cloudy Saturday morning I was on a cycle ride and found out…

I passed what I assume is a driving school and it was too good of an opportunity to pass up and shoot a video of. The origin of the complete lack of confidence that can be witnessed across roads all over Taiwan was suddenly made clear.


The gate was locked so I couldn’t walk in but watching the learner drivers at the school was like stepping into Matrix bullet time. Despite the massive open spaces everything just crawled along.

Had driving behaviour on the roads not mirrored what I was seeing at the school I’d be tempted to write off the experience as just a bad batch of drivers that morning. Letting people learn how to drive at 3 km/h on their own seems like a ridiculous way to get started.

I’m convinced the Taiwan drivers license test is probably just a quick quiz on which cartoon character stickers look better on what color car. There’s certainly not a practical driving component otherwise nobody would be on the roads!

The truck drivers license is probably equally as pointless. The practical component is probably a demo on how well you can chew betel nut and spit out the juice without getting any on your chin.

That seems to be the only requirement for driving stupid blue trucks on the roads here.

As an aside, anyone got any ideas what the massive solar panel looking boards are on top of the cars? Every car had one. Solar power would explain the speed the cars were travelling at but does seem technologically excessive for learner driver cars.

Life was good.

I plonked my courier bag down on my desk and then I saw it. The most horrendous case of calculator abuse you’d ever hope to not see.

There was me thinking that I’d finally gotten to know the girls at work…

…

…how utterly wrong I was.

Cowering on the desk next to mine was this poor barely functional bastardisation of a calculator.

I’m not sure how long it’d been in this neglected state for but it took all of my mental strength to not just start ripping off the parasites it had been branded with.

Instead I cradled it and gave it a warm bath, gently removing the vandalism piece by piece. When I confronted the owner she was unbelievably nonchalant about the whole episode;

…I was just bored one day. I dunno… I thought it looked nice.


I wanted to grab the hot glue gun and sequin the hell out of her face right then and there. But this wasn’t about her, it was about the poor calculator.

Calculators are used lovingly by millions daily to calculate home loans, the percentage chance of getting laid that night, mortgage repayments, writing ‘hello’ and ‘boobs’ upside down (43770 and 80085), their savings and a whole ton of other things. Lord knows I’ve lost count of how many Taiwanese to Australian dollar conversions I’ve done over the last few months.

Without my calculator I’d be lost. Face it, we owe calculators everything.

It begs belief how people can stand by and let calculator cruelty like this continue. I’d seen the horrifying videos of people pulling apart them apart, running solar powered calculators well into the night and even those disgusting Chinese videos.

The ones where they tried to reverse engineer a series of calculators in attempt to recreate a Sony ‘Praystation 3′.

Still nothing could have even remotely prepared me for the bombardment of optical torture that was waiting for me in the office that day. The only thing missing from the ordeal was some Hello Kitty stickers and glitter.

On a more positive note I’m happy to report that ‘Butter Lion’ is now doing well and has a drawer all of his own. If anyone knows someone in Taiwan looking to adopt a slightly shaken but still completely calculationally capable calculator, drop me a line.

The last time I left Australia was back in 1993 on a family trip.

The reaction I got when I told people I was moving abroad was thus usually one of surprise. As the conversation progressed the questions ‘won’t you miss home?’ and ‘how will you cope?’ inevitably came up as well.

To perfectly honest these weren’t even considerations when I was convincing myself that moving overseas was right for me…

…how naive.

I’ve only been in Taiwan a relatively short time so far and whilst I haven’t been struck by homesickness (I’m not really that kind of guy), some days have left me worse for wear.

Despite loving the lifestyle and the locals in Taiwan, being a museum exhibit every time you go outside does take its toll at random times. I’m by no means an expert on staving off home sickness or culturally adapting to a new environment but these tips are my way of coping with living abroad.

Today I thought I’d share them with you.

1. Bring something small with you that you can carry around

A small item you can carry around that has some significance of your life back home has without doubt had the strongest impact on my personal coping with living abroad.

It can be something you wear, something you can carry around in a wallet, an accessory or if you can make it work even an item of clothing.

For me it’s a ring given to me by an ex-girlfriend. I’ve had it roughly two years and whilst the romantic significance of the ring is all but dead it’s been with me everywhere over the past two years.

Be it family, friends, my relationship at the time or just life in general, for me the ring has come to signify all my happy memories of life back in Australia these past few years.

For those moments where nothing seems to make sense, cultural frustration gets the better of you or the feeling of alienation hits you like a ton of bricks nothing makes the feeling pass quicker then reaching down and just t0uching my ring with my other hand.

I don’t exactly know the psychology behind it but I’ve found the memories bound to the ring certainly help.

2. Music

Most people identify with music in one form or another. In Taiwan everybody listens to crappy computer produced romantic ballads sung in Chinese, so it’s nice to be able to tune out and listen to some real music every once in a while.

Unfortunately for the meantime that means pumping music out of my EEE PC’s thumping tiny inbuilt speakers. Getting a proper set of stereo speakers with bass is pretty high on my priority list.

Whether it’s an ipod, a laptop or old school audio cds, music can take your mind away after a hard days work. If I’m listening to something really engaging there’s moments where I just forget I’m even living abroad.

If you’re not into music a good substitute is reading some books. If books aren’t your thing either (what’s wrong with you?) to a lesser extent movies and television work as well.

I find the cultural connection isn’t as strong with movies and television though as 99.9% of what I watch is from the US and I’m not American.

3. Eat familiar food

One thing I love about Taiwan is the food. Much to the amusement of other expats living here I’m quite happy to eat a rotation of beef noodles, suckling pig and pork belly 24/7.

I’ll just simply never get sick of it. And if I do there’s an abundance of ridiculously cheap Taiwan buffets offering a daily massive variety of foods I can pick and choose from.

Every once in a while though I find it helps to get back to culinary familiarity. For me this usually takes place in the form of a visit to the local KFC. Whilst I do like KFC I can’t really justify regularly paying $120 TWD (approx $4 AUD) for a Zinger burger meal when I can pay $50-$60 TWD ($1.50-$2 AUD) for a substantial Taiwanese meal.

It’s definitely not the price I go there for but my visits to KFC offer a sense of familiarity. When I go to KFC I know what to expect, I know the menu and I know I’m not going to have any language problems ordering.

What’s more is most of the customers there tend to be young people and they’re (usually) far less inclined to stare at me with their mouths open and full of food as I walk in.

This familiarity (which is only needed once a month, maybe twice) helps remind me of eating back home. Not that I ate KFC all the time back home but for now it’s the closest dining experience to eating back home I’ve got.

Ironically there’s probably more Asian food in Melbourne then KFC but like I said, it’s not about the food.

4. Don’t try to recreate your life as it was back home

When I moved to Taiwan I had it stuck in my head that once I’d settled down with a job and a nice place to live I’d immediately begin to recreate the life I had back home.

Not necessarily how I lived but more things like routine. I wanted to cook my own meals in bulk, watch movies and television via USB through a DVD player, get an aquarium up and running etc.

I wanted to do this as quickly as possible because I figured if home sickness did kick in, recreating my lifestyle back in Australia would be my best chance of beating it.

Shortly after arriving I realised it’s just not practical and have since actually started to enjoy the change in lifestyle living abroad offers. Some things I’ll still recreate, such as watching divx on a big TV and the aquarium – but I’ve accepted that they don’t need to be done straight away.

In the long term it’s just something you’ve got to accept. I’ve met people in Taipei who’ve asked me how I cope not living there. They always seem to be amazed at foreigners getting by outside of a western lifestyle.

Their loss.

5. Embrace being different

This is one that’s going to be difficult for some people and simply just not do-able for others. Embracing being different is paramount to getting along here.

Accept the fact that people are going to stare. They’re going to cover their mouths and whisper to their friends when you walk past and randoms are going to strike up conversations with you to show their mates how down with foreigners they are.

Nothing you do as a person is going to change this. So why fight it?

I don’t like being routinely stared at as much as the next guy but I’ve come to accept it. I kind of grown to like the fact that I dress a little differently, don’t have your stereotypical Asian male haircut, wear boots instead of thongs everywhere, know what deodorant is and ride a bicycle that looks nothing like the Giant bikes that dominate Taiwan.

In bars and social situations being different definitely has its advantages.


Going crazy from living abroad is definitely something I can see happening to those that don’t look after themselves or just simply aren’t wired to adapt to it.

With a the techniques I’ve shared above though I’ve found that missing home or wondering what the hell you’re doing living halfway across the world can be minimised.

Getting used to the cultural differences and lifestyle change is paramount to enjoying your time abroad. Once you’ve got it sorted you can then get on with actually enjoying yourself and living life.

And really, at the end of the day that’s what living abroad is all about.

Sure I might be exaggerating the situation in my head but I’ve never felt comfortable going out and buying a box of condoms on my own. Part of the reason is the narcissistic habit that kicks in when I see another guy doing the same, or worse another girl.

If I’m stuck behind someone on the conveyor belt and I see a box of condoms, instinctively I’m looking them up and down and wondering how ugly or hot their partner is.

If the conclusion is they’re really ugly then I feel like they’ve ruined my night before it’s even begun with their ugliness. If the conclusion is their hot then, as stupid as it sounds I get little pangs of jealousy run through me. Even if I’m not single at the time.

I assume I’m not alone in this and thus when I’m standing in line buying a box of condoms I can’t help but think this is what if someone else sees my box this is what they start thinking about too.

I’m well into adulthood (well, physically anyway), and these are the thoughts that run through my head when I think about buying condoms. Recently Swedish condom company Lamprecht AG announced that they plan to market condoms to 12-14 year old boys.

What a great idea, let’s inject a bit of sexual crazy into minds who’s only other social responsibility is deciding whether or not they want the red or the blue McHappy meal toy this week.

Profits aside, I’ve tried to rationalise the marketing of extra small condoms (subtly named the ‘Hotshot’) to young boys. From what I can tell nobody is going to benefit from a product like this…

12-14 year old boys

I’m not saying 12-14 year old boys aren’t doing it but cmon… whilst they might understand that their hoohah goes into her wahoo is anyone really expecting them to grapple concepts beyond that?

Most parents dread the birds and the bees talk and these days leave it to the television, internet or schoolyard to fill in the blanks. Imagine trying to explain sexual disease and pregnancy to a 12 year old.

What’s more, even if by some stroke of luck you’ve got a kid who gets it, do you really think he’s going to be thinking safe sex if he’s about to get some?

Kids at that age get distracted walking from their bedrooms to the dinner table let alone trying to remember to go buy a condom before doing little Sally down at the playground.

Then there’s the stigmata of the name. Adult males have a hard enough time dealing with condom sizes. What kid is going to buy ‘extra small’ condoms?

Parents

Ok so somehow your kid understands sexual diseases and avoiding pregnancy…what next?

You work in a supermarket and Mrs. Johnson whom you’ve known since you were a little kid rocks up with a box of Hotshot extra small condoms. What’s the first thought that pops into your mind?

Either she’s just started an affair with an Asian man or old man Johnson simply ain’t what he used to be.

As husband and wife going in to buy extra small condoms let me tell you now that nobody is going to believe they are for your kid. After years of sexual frustration as a couple you’re just both glad that somebody finally made a condom in just the right size for you.

As a lone father… well that’s a no brainer. It’s bad enough walking through the checkout with the least gay sounding and lack of fancy artwork on the box pack of condoms, let alone a box of Hotshots in extra small.

Not gunna happen.

The rest of us

I’m a guy and I’m pretty sure I’m getting lucky tonight. I open my condom drawer and realise stocks are running low. I need to buy myself some condoms.

No worries I think to myself. I head down to the local supermarket and as I’m reaching for my favourite box, I notice a few small packs off to the side with bright glitzy colors and cartoons on the box.

“What the hell?” I think to myself. I take a closer look at one of the boxes and then realise these are those new Hotshot extra small condoms I’d read about the other day.

“Ah, these are what the kids use when they… uh wait, better no finish that thought”.

Later on that night I’m getting little Oz ready for some fun and as I’m slipping it on that image of Hotshots pops back into my head.

The night is pretty much over at this point. Complete disaster.

Worse still imagine being behind some twelve year old at the supermarket and all of a sudden he slams down a box of condoms on the counter.

“Big night tonight son?”

“uh yeah lol.”

“Well uh, don’t forget to wash that one pubic hair down there…”

I can’t think of anything more awkward. Whatever the opposite of an aphrodisiac is, extra small condoms designed for kids is definitely the penultimate of it.


Whilst I understand the need for sexual education for kids these days I don’t really think retailing condoms for kids is the answer. And if it is, well that’s no excuse to ruin sex for the rest of us.

Even if they put them down with the powdered milk and baby formula or in the toy section there’s still a chance you’ll run into someone buying them.

Hopefully these things stay in Sweden as an awkward social experiment and don’t make it for sale globally online. I imagine someone buying extra small condoms for kids in bulk over the internet is probably going to raise a few eyebrows at customs.

Living in Taiwan it’s bad enough thinking about buying tiny Asian condoms, I really don’t need to be thinking about children’s sizes too.

The irony of pregnancy aside, some things just don’t need to be associated with kids.

In other news, it’s still possible to launch expensive defamation cases against people in Australia without a shred of supporting evidence.

The Z-Geek defamation case first came to light after Greg Smith announced he was taking the website to court claiming $42 million dollars in damages.

The case was brought about after Sydney based film producer Greg Smith’s mate Jonathan Nolan posted about his book “The Third Truth”. In The Third Truth Nolan alleges that the 9/11 terrorist attack and the Bali bombings were in fact nuclear explosions involving Russian submarines and Israeli explosives.

After massive amounts of ridicule, debunking and two and froing, Nolan and Smith eventually left the discussion, tails planted firmly between their legs.

A short time later it was announced that unnamed Russian investors had pulled out of a movie deal Smith had set up, allegedly after reading the online discussion.

Reading that the producer of their little film investment was a nutjob conspiracy theorist was apparently all they needed to withdraw over forty million dollars in funding.

You know… because it couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with Nolan’s aforementioned accusations that Russian submarines were involved in 9/11 and the Bali bombing.

Long story short, the case wound up in court and yesterday Z-Geek announced that they’d won. Z-Geek’s had won on the grounds that when asked to produce any evidence that the Russian investors existed or that the amount of income allegedly lost was anywhere near 40 million dollars, Smith and Nolan were left standing red faced.

Smith and Nolan couldn’t have possibly just made the whole thing up… right?

The failure to produce any evidence about the forty two million dollars of investor money, or that the Russian investors ever even existed is a further blow to the credibility of Nolan and Smith.

The pair’s latest project, astronaut reality television series Starwalker has been plagued with controversy. Upon hearing about the Starwalker show myself my first thoughts were that it was a hoax.

Since then there seems to be ongoing problems with investors, affiliates and the show’s media partners. A few of the announced involved parties supposedly working with the show have been contacted, so far all have denied involvement.

Additionally the three International Space University graduates who founded the concept for the show recently completely “dissassociated themselves from the Starwalker project“.

The most recent blog entry on the (currently defunct) official Starwalker blog states that

An entirely new executive production lineup and partnership will now take the show forward.


Right.

Internet conspiracy theories, Russian investors, 40 million dollars of made up funds and losing defamation cases because you can’t provide any evidence of your initial claims.

Hey Greg and Jonathan, where’s yo’ credibility at?

Whilst I’m extremely glad the Z-Geek team have won their case, their case is a perfect example of just how easy it is to make up stories, launch legal action and then hope that the financial cost to the defendant in defending one’s self will be enough to win.

Preferably without the case ever even going to court.

In any case, despite living overseas I still feel a strong connection to the Australian independent publisher community and it’s great to see a win for common sense.

Congratulations to the team at Z-Geek. I’d FedEx you some celebratory Taiwanese beer but believe me you’re not really missing out on anything.

OzSoapbox is currently involved in its own defamation case which will hopefully be resolved soon. For better or worse I look forward to sharing the details with readers sometime over the next few months.

Due to the unique details of each defamation case it appears that precedents are rather hard to set.  However with enough positive outcomes for publishers perhaps Australian defamation laws will be eventually revised, or at the very least plaintiffs will think twice about whether or not there really is a case to answer to.

Here’s hoping.

Located in central Taiwan and tucked away in the mountains, I recently got to experience my first go kart outing at Neiwan in Hsinchu County.

The Go Karts

I had no way of telling but the go karts we were on appeared to be 50cc. You pretty much flew around the track with your accelerator pedal floored and hoped for the best.

The brakes on the karts were more of a novelty then a stopping device. I only found myself relying on the brakes when I came up behind some of the girls we were with and they became unpredictable trying to stop me overtaking.

It seems bad female driving on the road readily transfers over to go karts. You’re screaming around trailing someone and they’re concentrating more on stopping you from passing then watching where they’re going.

All of a sudden they underestimate a turn and you reach for the brakes realizing the brakes on Taiwan go karts are more of a ‘we’ll slowly come to a casual stop’ then ‘OMG I NEED TO STOP RIGHT NOW!’ experience.

Other then that, the karts were fine. The tyres kept their grip on the road and there wasn’t any problems with the engines. I still have issues driving with a fuel tank between my legs but that seems to be the norm with go karts these days.

The Track

This particular track was pretty small but was designed well enough to enjoy racing your mates over.

The bitumen was smooth and you had tyre barriers on all of the turns in case you lost control (did I mention there were no helmets?).

The Cost

This is where go karting in Taiwan really shines. Back home I’d be looking at a minimum of $40-$50 AUD for maybe 10 minutes of track time. Over here we paid just $150 NTD (about $5 AUD) and got to do 20 laps of the course.

This equated to roughly 15 mins of racing for me and about 20-25 mins for the girls. Had the track have been bigger and the karts a bit faster I could have easily spent the better part of an hour on the track.


Even over something as trivial as go karting you get to see just how much we get ripped over entertainment in the west. Entertainment and food in Taiwan are dirt cheap and makes for some great outings.

I’ve seen some bigger tracks and faster looking go karts around so no doubt I’ll be visiting another track sometime in the future.

Driving back home from I thought I saw some 150cc signs on some of the other tracks… 150cc go karts and Taiwan’s non existent safety standards should be a blast.

“Wow, that’s some hangover. What the hell did I do last night?”

“…”

“…hang on last night was Wednesday night… and… I didn’t go out. Wait what the hell just happened?!”

At that point I realised I’d just experienced my second major earthquake in Taiwan. The first hit Taichung in late December and was strong enough to wake me from my pre-Saturday night out nap.

I was already awake when this earthquake struck but hadn’t quite got out of bed. Coming from Australia, earthquakes are still new to me so I haven’t developed the ‘OMG RUN!’ sense just quite yet.

Instead I just kind of lay there feeling my bed move and thinking to myself “hey this is kinda cool!”

The earthquake hit in the Kaohsiung County mountains and came in at 6.4 on the Richter scale. Apparently there was a whole bunch of aftershocks but after the initial quake I didn’t really feel anything.

I went out cycling shortly after the quake hit (only reason I was up so early), so maybe that’s why.

Over in Kaosiung (southern Taiwan) however they bore the full brunt of the quake. Train lines were closed and one High Speed Rail train actually came off it’s tracks with passengers on board!

Estimates put the injured at about 60 and luckily nobody was killed.

It seems if I want to live in Taiwan I’m going to have to get used to the earth shaking at least once a month or so.

To be honest I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that yet…


Update 4th March, 2010: Russian news network Zvezda News have contacted and asked if I can do a short video commentary on Kaohsiung earthquake.

I recorded a video and sent it to them, here’s the clip!

A girl I’d seen regularly around the area came up and started to talk to me. She told me her parents lived in Taichung and she’d just come back from visiting them over the weekend.

“Wait a minute, I have present for you-” she blurted out mid conversation. Before I had a chance to even process what she’d said, protest or ask her why she was off racing down to her apartment.

I was left standing in 7-11 wondering just what she’d gotten me…

About ten minutes past and she came racing back,

“These are from Taichung. These cakes are very famous in Taiwan and are delicious. One is coffee and one is cherry. For you!”

“Uh, thanks.”

I didn’t really know what to say. I had no idea why she was giving the cakes to me but I thought’d it’d be worse if I refused. She just seemed to excited to share them with me.

She didn’t know the English name for them but after hitting the internet worked out they were ‘Dorayaki cakes’, which originate from Japan.

Taste and look wise they are just like pancakes but a bit fluffier and cakier. Whereas a pancake is fried these tasted like they’d been somehow baked.

The fillings weren’t too bad either, although cherry was definitely better then the coffee filling. Instead of sweet coffee they’d opted to go for a savoury flavour which I felt clashed with the pancake texture.

I have no idea where to find Dorayaki cakes here in Taiwan and to be honest I’d probably choose a donut over one if given the choice but it was something different to try.

I got the sense that if I was eating a Dorayaki cake in Australia, being Japanese I’d be paying through the nose for one. Sometimes it’s nice being so close to central Asia.

Whilst this in itself isn’t such a big deal it did get me thinking and slightly curious as to what the rest of the original EMC were now up to.

Having not looked into the Polaris Media Group world for a while now, I decided to spend an evening researching what some of the old EMC members were up to.

Tony Rush

Tony Rush was arguably one of the most well known EMC members of Polaris Media Group. He was often cited as the ‘mouthpiece’ of the company and charged with policing the internet and countering any negative information published.

Late last year he quit Polaris Media Group with fellow EMC members Gene Braxton and Shannon and John Lavenia.

Shortly afterwards it was announced that the four of them were forming an MLM training company, Northstar Connect. I have no idea how successful or non successful this venture has been but it’s apparently not been successful enough to provide a full time income.

Recently Rush announced his involvement in the Numis Network. From the brief research I’ve conducted into this company, they are in the business of selling numismatic collectible coins.

The problem with mass marketing collectibles via MLM is that the more people that own something, the more it’s collectible value drops.

Then there’s the fact that people seem to be selling the same coins on eBay Numis are offering it’s distributors but for cheaper. This begs the question as to whether the Numis Network opportunity is about the coin products themselves, or simply about remarketing the business opportunity to new prospects.

Tony Rush is currently flogging the Numis Network business opportunity on his website, rather then the companies retail products themselves.

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions from that.

As an interesting aside, in Rush’s marketing spiel for Numis he mentions that some of the people visiting his page might have

had the rug jerked out from underneat of you by a company whose owners might not have been as ethical as you’d hoped.


I couldn’t help but wonder if this was a not-so-subtle parting shot at Krider and Polaris Media Group.

John and Shannon Lavenia

The Lavenias seem to have gone a bit quiet following the launch of the Northstar Connect system.

John Lavenia last held a conference in Melbourne Australia in December. Tickets started off at $700 and something US, then dropped to $297 and then a week or so before the event dropped to $0.

That’s not a typo, the tickets were given away for nothing.

Following this event I don’t really know what the Lavenia’s have been up to. A software platform they seem pretty heavily involved in, Marketing Pro Plus, seems to have been launched, relaunched or updated recently.

The Lavenias have been pimping it out and seem to have made a new promotional video for it.

The Marketing Pro Plus website is ‘powered by Unified Wealth Solutions’ which I believe is owned by the Lavenias.

Marketing Pro Plus is also being advertised via Twitter by Tony Rush so I’m not sure if it’s got something to do with Northstar Connect or is just the Lavenia’s work.

Gene Braxton

Gene seems to be the only one out of the ex EMC members who has not left a trial of wanton destruction splattered all over the internet.

I’ll be completely honest and admit that I’ve got no idea what Braxton is up to these days. Unless a reader is able to shed some light on what Braxton has moved onto post Polaris Media Group, your guess is as good as mine.


2009 saw the peak and fall of Polaris Media Group and it wasn’t without it’s fair share of casualties.

Some of the people who profited off these casualties appear to be getting ready to do it all over again under a different banner.

Some seem to be diversifying their marketing portfolio trading on the names they’ve made for themselves over the last few years. Others still appear to have disappeared completely and gone underground.

During the height of discussion on Polaris Media Group on OzSoapbox we had a fair share of pro-Polaris commenters and those who were against it.

Of note were the number of pro-Polaris who were openly involved in the company as distributors. With reports of only 30 people rocking up to Polaris’ latest event, one can only wonder where all these people have gone.

What are they up to now and how have they moved on?

Now that the dust has somewhat settled I’d love to hear from some of the more staunch supporters of Polaris Media Group. Those that stood by the company until the bitter end.

What happened and where are you now?

This post isn’t about pointing fingers or naming and shaming or ‘I told you so!’ type replies. The top earners stories post-Polaris are relatively easy to piece together but there hasn’t really been a platform for all the smaller stories out there.

I’m aware this post might not work but I really would like to hear from people as they’ve moved on from Polaris.

Share your story, be heard.

Today I thought I’d post up how to go about it along with some of the local language that might be required if asking in English doesn’t work.

Unlike prepaid phone starter kits, 7-11 seems to have pretty healthy stock levels of prepaid phone recharge cards for most networks. My Carrefour prepaid phone plan comes in various monetary values ($300, $600 and $1000TWD from memory). I don’t know that much about the other phone networks but I assume you’ve got similar recharge value options when them also.

If you’re after a recharge card for your prepaid phone, when you walk into a 7-11 you want to be asking;

Wo xiang (shyoung) mai yi (network operator) yufuka.


This basically translates into ‘I’d like one (network operator) prepaid card. Oh and I’m not making that last word up, prepaid card in Chinese is said exactly as it sounds in English.

Try walking around saying that with a straight face!

(Ok so you can pronounce it properly as in yoo-foo-ka, but I still found it pretty amusing).

If you’re using the Carrefour network like I am then what you’ll want is a card that looks like the one on the right.

What I’ve found is that when you mention ‘yufuka’ the 7-11’s usually keep all their prepaid cards held together with a rubber band or something. If you don’t know the Chinese pronunciation for your phone company just have a look through the prepaid card stack until you find the right one.

I got a girl to tell me the Chinese pronunciation for Carrefour once (Ka-fo or something), but buggered if I can remember it. I haven’t had any problems thus far though so I wouldn’t get too caught up on the Chinese pronunciation of company names.

All that was left was to decide which network operator to go with. I sussed out that getting a plan phone without an Alien Resident Certificate (ARC) was nigh on impossible, so this meant I’d be relying on a prepaid setup initially.

Reading up on prepaid cards I read that it was a pretty straight forward affair. Land in Taiwan, walk into any 7-11 and ask for a prepaid sim card… it was that easy.

When I got here I realised it wasn’t. It took me five weeks of stuffing around before I finally managed to get myself connected up on a prepaid plan.

Before I continue I’ll preface by saying that if you know people in Taiwan it’s worth saving yourself some hassle and just getting them to purchase you a prepaid/postpaid phone sim card. This is by far the most painless option and the only drawback is that the paperwork will be in the person who bought the cards name.

If you’re like me and landed without knowing a single soul however, or if you just feel uncomfortable about having utilities in other people’s names then you have to start from scratch.

Forget about getting a prepaid sim card from 7-11

The first thing I learnt was to forget about the 7-11 prepaid card. I tried so many 7-11’s in Taichung that I lost count. Everytime I went in I was met with the same response, they sold prepaid top up cards but not the sim cards needed to register on the network.

Over a period of a few weeks I tried various methods to rule out the possibility it was a language problem. I tried asking in Chinese myself, went with a Taiwanese girl one night and even got someone to write down that I wanted a prepaid sim card in Chinese and got the 7-11 staff to read it.

Nothing worked. Each time they tried to sell me a prepaid top up phone card. One of the frustrating things was that I had people tell me that 7-11 did indeed sell the cards. If they didn’t, they suggested I try another store.

After weeks of on and off trying I finally resigned myself to the fact that I’d just have to wait for my ARC to come through before I’d be able to connect my mobile phone.

I later met a guy who told me that he’d gotten further then I had with 7-11 but the process of getting a prepaid sim card through them was time consuming and painful. After asking for a card the staff pulled out some paperwork for him to fill out. This in itself is standard but the kicker is that it had to be mailed off to their office. They couldn’t fax it and there was no electronic system in place.

After waiting about a week the office sent it back to the store and they rejected it because one of the forms was filled out incorrectly. At this point the guy had the option of going through the process again and waiting another week but by then his ARC had come through so he just went with a phone company plan.

I have no idea what he asked different or how he got 7-11 staff to admit they even sold prepaid sim card kits, regardless after personally having gone through the ordeal of trying to get them to sell me one I wouldn’t bother.

I did also try getting a prepaid starter kit from several of the phone companies here (and mobile phone stores) but all of them required an ARC.

How I finally managed to get a prepaid sim card for my phone

One day I was talking to a random and they suggested that I try Carrefour. For those not familiar, Carrefour is like a giant supermarket chain over here. Think a combination of K-Mart and Coles under the one roof for those reading from Australia.

After tracking one down in Taichung I walked in and mustered up my best Chinese.

‘Wǒ xiǎng yùfù fèi SIM kǎ.’

Much to my surprise instead of the round and round conversation and general confusion I’d been getting from 7-11 employees the Carrefour assistant simply nodded and asked for my ID.

I had on my a credit card, my Australian drivers license (with photo) and my passport. I’m not exactly sure what the ID criteria is but my drivers license and passport were enough for them to go on.

The Carrefour staff filled in the paperwork for me (which was all in Chinese) and I just waited patiently. After about ten minutes and some clarification questions about my ID (making sure the numbers were correct for each ID) I was finally presented with a prepaid sim card kit in the photo to the right.

Activation was done on their end and I was told to give it an hour and my phone should start working.

SMS and call costs

The starter kit cost $350 NTD (about $11-$12 AUD) and came with $300 credit. Local SMS’s cost $7TWD (approx .24c AUD) and calls are billed per second at .07c TWD (approx .14c AUD a minute) which is a bit on the expensive side but it’s your best bet without an ARC or friend signing you up to a plan.

Comparatively a 2 year contract has sms rates of $1 TWD (.03c AUD) per local SMS.

Final thoughts

It took me five weeks to finally get a prepaid sim card over here without an ARC. I can’t believe how much stuffing around it involved and the complete lack of knowledge on the process that locals had!

Despite having a post paid phone plan back in Australia I could still tell anyone where to go to get a prepaid card with or without a working visa… nobody here seemed to have a clue.

After getting through the process quickly and painlessly at Carrefour I’d recommend them for anyone looking to quickly connect their phone to a prepaid network. If you don’t have your own phone Carrefour also have a selection of basic models (think supermarket phones) to get you by.

Why people suggest 7-11 when they clearly have issues even admitting they have a prepaid service I have no idea. I arrived here thinking 7-11 was the place to go and only wish somebody had published some accurate information on prepaid cards.

Hopefully my own experience will be of benefit to others wondering about connecting up their mobile phone in Taiwan.

Having lived in Melbourne I was admittedly spoilt with the abundance of bicycle lanes and large cycling community.

Over in the suburb of Prospect, South Australia things aren’t so good.

Prospect council recently announced plans to remove the bicycle lanes on Prospect road. Currently Prospect road serves as a main arterial road and is single lane both ways with a bicycle lane on either side.

The proposal to remove bicycle lanes has been brought about because the council wants to widen the footpath to make way for outdoor seating. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that charging local retailers for using outdoor space is more profitable then having a non-revenue generating bicycle lane on the road.

As you can see below, with double lines and traffic islands along much of the middle of Prospect road, space is already pretty limited as it is.

View Larger Map

For cyclists, the removal of the bicycle lanes will mean cyclists will be required to claim lanes to commute. This will mean the mixing of cyclists, 154 buses and 20,400 vehicles a day on a single lane road.

Whilst I can appreciate the need to increase road width to accommodate local traffic congestion, removing bicycle lanes to increase footpath widths? Cmon guys, this is just another short sighted cash grab that will be costly to reverse in the future.

Most councils seem to be encouraging cycling as a viable form of transport yet here we are in 2010 discussing the removal of bicycle lanes.

Local cycling group, BUG Prospect have organised a campaign to protest against the changes. Currently they have a petition with over 3,000 signatures and a whole bunch of other resources on their website.

Let’s hope they manage to get the council’s plans scrapped.

Two of the stories broke in the last 24 hours alone!

The first story from Mozambique involved two young guys, a goat and the goats owner. Yeah you know where this going…



“One of the young men was naked and holding the goat’s head, and the other was having sex with the animal.”


So police catch two guys tag teaming a goat and you’d think that’d be the end of it right. Yeah this is Africa, it gets worse.

The goat’s owner may also file a civil suit against them.

The owner was demanding the young men pay him damages and initiate a traditional wedding ceremony by paying “lobolo,” a dowry, a family member told Radio Mozambique.

What the hell kind of kangaroo court even entertains the idea of monetary compensation?!

‘Yo you’re honor my goat got all pig on a spit with two local kids, SHOW ME THE MONEY!’

‘Yes I agree, these two men should be made to marry your goat…’

What on earth are people in Mozambique sniffing?

The second story is out of South Africa. Having a constitution that guarantees human rights wasn’t enough to stop a school dormitory from being shut down.

The crack down came about after two girls were caught kissing. Upon further questioning they identified a further twenty five other lesbians. Presumably with no means of obtaining proof school officials took the two girls at their word and shut the 300 pupil strong dorm down.

You catch two girls kissing and assume they’re lesbians… then you ask them about other girls and take their word as gospel. It seems lesbians are wholeheartedly shunned but they are also the most trustworthy people in Africa.

Meanwhile in 2007 a bunch of female villagers in Kenya accused a rebel group of local monkeys of sexually mocking them and stealing their crops.

Every morning at dawn the mob of 300 marched on the unsuspecting villages, plundering everything in their path.

Attempts by female villagers to defend their crops were met with stiff hostility.

The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually harass us.


Whilst the poor villagers have my commiserations I do have one pressing question for them, WHY WASN’T THIS FILMED AND YOUTUBED?!!

Even those trying to leave the country in desperation are spared no reprieve. Earlier this year a man was eaten alive by a ‘dinosaur sized shark’.

My husband had just pointed out how far the man was swimming from the other people. He asked what would happen if he was attacked by a shark, because he was so far away.

The words were hardly cold when the shark attacked that man. The shark attacked twice; it turned and attacked the man again; I just saw the blood on the water.


Sounds to me like the poor bugger was just trying to escape to greener pastures. What a way to go.

Over in East Africa girls are traditionally married off to complete strangers… in exchange for livestock and grain.

The sad part is most of the girls are teenagers and I imagine something like this pretty much ruins your life. Imagine the massive daddy issues baggage these girls must carry!

The good news is that some communities have began to cease the practice of arranged marriages. Instead,

We were invited to attend a special service at the church.The tiny building was crowded with young girls who were invited to approach the altar to be presented with certificates of their virginity.

The local traditional healer physically inspects all unmarried females above the age of 12 every month.


This only begs the question, what’s more traumatic; Being married off to some guy old enough to be your grandad or being felt up once a month by the local ‘healer’?!

Those have got to be some messed up kids.

Speaking of churches, a pastor in Uganda took campaigning against gay rights to a new level when he screened gay porn in his church to an audience of 300.

“The major argument homosexuals have is that what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms is nobody’s business, but do you know what they do in their bedrooms?” pastor Martin Ssempa asked the crowd.

Pastor Ssempa then displayed a slide show of gay pornographic pictures.


At this time it is unknown whether the screening was extended due to popular demand, or where the images were sourced from…

Finally it seems Zimbabwe is pegging it’s economy recovery hopes on taking up the Harry Potter torch.

Regino Sveto was found stark naked outside her brother-in-laws house after flying 120km in a basket with her father in law and aunt.

Upon arrival her father in law and aunt asked her to kill her brother in law and when she refused, they bailed on her.

Sveto is a self confessed witch and has accused both her father in law and aunt of also being witches… what’s more,

During sentencing, Sveto went into a trance again while in the dock.

She regained her composure after guards rubbed salt on her face and hands.


Despite all this the judge ruled that Sveto is mentally stable and the court even managed to find a ‘witchcraft expert’ who “testified in court last week that the woman’s tale was probably true“.

Well alright then.

With most of these stories in the year 2010 and this month alone I can’t help but wonder just how long it will be before modernity comes to Africa.

What’s more where will the rest of the world be when it finally arrives? Most likely buried under radioactive rubble.

The next time you think you’re life is hard spare a thought for Africans still living in the dark ages…

The Taiwan National Museum of Natural Science is located in Taichung City and hosts a series of scientific exhibits with education in mind.

Some of it was good, some of it was confusing and some of it was just ‘uh, this is a science museum right?’

The museum itself is divided into two main buildings. First there’s the ‘Space Theatre and Science Center’ and then the ‘Life Science Hall, Human Cultures Hall and Global Environment Hall’ building. Outside you also have botanical garden display for the scientific nature buff in you.

To say that the National Museum of Natural Science is large is an understatement. I’m an adult and despite spending 6 hours there only managed to see most of the Life Science, Human Cultures and Global Environment Hall displays. I didn’t see any of the Space Theatre, Science Center or Botanical Gardens exhibits.

If you’ve got kids the museum is definitely a two day outing, possibly even three.

The Life Science, Human Cultures and Global Environment Halls are all in the same building which is the large main building at the centre of the museum grounds. It is made up of three floors and is packed with things to see.

I started my journey through the museum at the ‘Gateway to the Living World’. This exhibit is basically a trip through the evolution of life. Thankfully there’s no 6000 year old creationist rubbish here so you start off with single cell organisms and work your way up to man.

I’m not a fan of jellyfish so walking into a massive 8-10ft high display of one wasn’t exactly the most pleasant experience. The displays themselves in this area do tend to be a bit limited due to the simplicity of the objects on display but it’s still interesting enough.

As you move through there are plant displays around as well and presumably they are matched up to the time period your looking at. Personally I found them a little boring. The vegetation in Taiwan is pretty bland to look at (everything is just different shades of green), so after a short time here you’re kind of over the vegetation scene.

Moving on from basic life cells you enter the insect world where there’s a whole bunch of displays of insects of the era. Interactivity wise there’s video rooms and some exhibits can be played around with (think Scienceworks in Melbourne if you’re from Australia).

Science is definitely a no-nonsense affair here in Taiwan and nothing is toned down for children. Take for example the frog exhibit on the right.

Now I can’t read Chinese but I assume the text goes into graphic detail about how the daddy frog jumps on the back of the mummy frog and then all these little eggs spurt out. Take that stupid stork theory.

Hehe frog sex.

Moving on from the insects then comes the dinosaurs which was easily the best area in the evolution exhibits. They’ve gone to a lot of trouble to create some really large displays here which, even if you can’t understand the written information presented is still interesting to look at.

My favourite part in this area was the large animatronic display area, specifically the Tyrannasaurus Rex display which I thought was particularly well done:


Just behind this display in close second place was an animated exhibit showing three velociraptors tearing up some random large dinosaur.

After the dinosaurs you progress to mammals which is mostly taxidermy stuff. Although all fake some of the exhibits are extremely detailed, take for example this dead bird:

Presumably explaining the decomposition process I really had to look hard to tell if it was real or not. At a glance it’d definitely pass for the real thing. Most of the animal exhibits were of the same realistic quality which was nice.

Finally you jump to man and the human body and I kind of just rushed through this bit. Seen a human body seen them all and if you’ve watched Discovery Channel for a week you kind of get the cliff notes on how most of the body works anyway.

Still if you are interested in the body and man you’ve got a whole bunch of displays going into everything from how the body works, the evolution of man and interactive displays about the body.

Towards the end of the human body area you get a bit of medicine history and I couldn’t walk past without snapping a photo.

If Indian doctors are required to taste patient excretions no wonder they are leaving the country en mass. Would you want to practice medicine in India?

Leaving the evolution area I headed over to the Chinese Medicine display. This area briefly covers Chinese medicine and seemed to be there as an alternative to the modern medicine area towards the end of the evolution exhibits.

Inside you’ve got some famous Chinese doctors, a bunch of jars with all sorts of kooky looking herbs and what not inside and also some rather interesting inventions. Take this one for example;

Presumably it’s some kind of hearing aid device but I’m not 100% sure. The placard was in Chinese and the box simply states ‘Magic Needle’.

Buggered if I know what it was.

Another ‘what the f?’ display was this one on weight. On one side of a set of scales you had about 50 little toy elephants, and on the other side was a toy crocodile type thing.

I have no idea what the point was.

Next to the Chinese Medicine area is the Chinese Science and Technology display. This area covers things like magnets, gunpowder and some built to scale Chinese inventions.

Everything was in Chinese here so I’m not quite sure what half of it was. Due to the scope and size of the displays though it was enough to hold my attention.

Downstairs from here you start to drift off the Science path and enter the world of spiritual Chinese history.

It starts off alright with a history of the Taiwanese natives and how they lived before the Chinese. There’s models of Taiwanese villages and a nice lifesize hut showing what their houses used to be like.

As you can see architectually wise nothing much has changed.

The Taiwanese history is alright but then you start to go pretty deep into Chinese spirituality. I’m not adversely against any of this stuff mind you but it was kind of weird seeing it in a Science museum.

Sort of like seeing stuff about Jesus in a western science museum.

Scientific appropriateness aside from a cultural perspective I think I spent enough time there to learn something. One of the displays that initially confused me were these painting depictions of what was basically a whole bunch of guys massicaring eachother.

Seemingly in contrast to the rest of the exhibit which was all peaceful and zen I tried my best to understand what these drawings were supposed to be but eventually gave up and moved on.

Shortly afterwards I ran into a Taiwanese girl I overheard speaking English. After introducing myself I took her back to the displays and she explained that apparently when you die you have to go through eight (or ten? I can’t remember now) trials.

The paintings were the depiction of these trials and it was only after you’d passed all of them that you got to go to heaven. If you failed then the minions commenced with the stabbing, decapitation and other forms of torture shown.

Sounds wonderful!

The rest of the exhibits in the area were a bit meh and felt somewhat outdated. Stuff like zooming into insects with remote control microscopes or looking at a whole bunch of rocks just didn’t do anything for me.

I did have to go and visit the Oceania Gallery though which was located in the basement. Eager to see something about Australia I was kind of disappointed to see 99% of it was about the pacific islands. The only mention Australia got was something about hunting Aboriginal tools.

My last stop was a visit to the ‘Mini-Zoo’ which is basically a small section with some reptiles and fish for you to look at. By late afternoon stage most of the animals were winding down for the evening but this little guy was still pretty active:


There are a number of theatres located in the building which have shows running at various times. Due to time constraints the only one I managed to get to was the Environment Theatre.

Inside you have a 100 or so seat capacity circular sitting platform surrounded by a full 360 degree viewing area. The visual experience is accompanied by laser lighting, wind and the viewing platform itself rotates to give you a sense of immersion. The movie itself was about global warming and crazy nature, the effects used complimented the video nicely.

The theatre I really wanted to go to however was the 3D Space Theatre but because it was on the other side of the building I managed to miss the show. Definitely something I’ll go back for one day, along with all the other Space exhibits in the Space Theatre and Science Center.

Cost wise you’re looking at $150 NTD (approx $5 AUD) for a day ticket to any of the exhibits. You can buy tickets for individual areas but for $5 I didn’t really care. I assume there’s cheaper options for kids and group discounts for families.

At the entrance to the museum is an info desk with people that can speak some English. They were very helpful in explaining the run down of how admission worked and provided me with some pamplets in English which had maps and explanations of the various areas.

Unfortunately most of the exhibits are solely in Chinese so you do kind of have to make out what you’re looking at yourself most of the time. I believe there is an English audio guide you can hire out from the information desk but I’m not sure how much use it would be.

I did see the audio tape signs up and around but most of the time they appeared in what seemed to be a pretty random order. Either I was looking at things wrong or that’s just the way the audio worked.

I hadn’t been to a Sciency place since my childhood so I found the National Museum of Natural Science a pretty good day out. Had I the time I’d have gone back later that week to check out the Space exhibits and the Botanical Gardens but for now they’re on my ‘to do’ list.

Amongst shopping, shopping and more shopping, if you’re stuck in Taichung wondering what to do the National Museum of Natural Science easily rates as something a little bit different to do.

Located about 2-3km from the Taichung Railway station on Guancian Road, you can either walk like I did for about 20 minutes or catch a taxi down.

Presumably the idea was that we’d show them firsthand just how Indian friendly Australia supposedly is. After looking at the itinerary of the journalists and the costs involved I’m now certain of one of two things.

Either Indian journalists are a bunch of naive morons or the Australian government taxpayer has been taken for a massive all expenses paid ride.

Upon arriving at the request of the Australian government, the Indian journalists were given 5 star hotel accommodation, tours of the MCG and tickets to some concert featuring a Bollywood composer.

Y’know, because Australians are down with Bollywood music and all that.

The journalists were shown Footscray and St. Albans railway stations but presumably not before security had cleared out the western suburbs trash that loiter there daily.

As for concert tickets and the MCG… what exactly was that supposed to achieve? Most if not all of the bashings occurred in Melbourne’s western suburbs. Indian students aren’t living in our poor trashy suburbs because they have money to go watch concerts or visit the MCG.

If the Australian government really wanted to show that it’d done something about the crazies running around Melbourne’s western suburbs bashing Indians, here’s a suggestion:

Drop off the journalists at either VUT Footscray or St. Albans and get them to make their way unescorted on foot to the local train station. Out of the journalists that survive we could then have a bonus round and see who makes it alive into the CBD.

Surely that would have proved without a doubt that something had been done to clean up Melbourne’s streets?

Instead the Australian taxpayer is now out of pocket $250,000. Meanwhile  a bunch of Indian journalists go back to India either thinking our government are idiots or that Melbourne is a magical place of racial harmony, 5 star hotels, concerts and sporting venues.

Either way, absolutely nothing is done to address the problem back in Melbourne.

To add insult to injury ‘the diplomacy budget for Australia’s High Commission in New Delhi has also been doubled, from $50,000 to $107,000 to help repair the damage caused by months of negative publicity and street protests.‘

Really? Indians give Australia months of negativity and street protests and instead of fixing the problem here we throw $50,000 to attempt to fix the problem on their end?!

Last time I checked it wasn’t Indian nationals coming over from India to Australia and beating the crap out of Indian students here.

Good work government. Obviously any country with the MCG, 5 star hotels and concerts featuring Indian composers is incapable of violence against Indians.

When I heard the first apartment I’d be staying at featured a balcony I got a bit excited. I’d never had a balcony before and started to mentally make up all sorts of plans.

I’d be able to finally grow some plants and get them some sunlight. I’d have somewhere safe to store my bicycle without having to inconvenience anyone else in the building. At some point I’d also pick up a few deck chairs and on those warm Taiwanese summer nights, kick back with some company and enjoy a few dirt cheap crispy cold 7-11 Taiwan beers.

When I moved into my new place I hastily dropped my suitcase onto the bed, raced up to the sliding doors, threw open the curtains and…

…

…and started to cry.

This was the view from my glorious balcony:

I felt like Taiwan had just kicked me in the nuts. So hard had I been kicked in the nuts that I could feel all my balcony dreams being pounded out of my head, one by one, and replaced with sharp pain.

For some reason having a washing machine outdoors seems to be common practice here in Taiwan. So long as you put a somewhat waterproof cover over the top people don’t seem to mind leaving their washing machines on their balconies.

Just to make sure I didn’t dare try to utilise any of the limited balcony space that I had, to the left of the washing machine was a hot water gas canister.

I don’t know the reason but people here also seem to shy away from mains gas lines. Instead you have these massive canisters that get replaced every so often. Before a shower you need to go outside and turn the gas on and after a shower turn it off again.

Of course after a few days this gets massively annoying. Yet you keep doing it because if you leave the gas on, there’s a good chance the canister will run out quickly and you won’t have any hot water for a shower.

I’m not a plumber but I couldn’t help but question the safety of such a set up. The gas canister was exposed to the elements 24/7 and connected with flimsy looking clear plastic hoses for the gas to flow through. It was also placed rouhgly 5 meters from where I put my head down to sleep every night.

I kinda felt like I was sleeping next to a bomb ready to go off at any moment.

Having a balcony stuffed full of equipment does fit the ‘utilise every square inch of space with maximum efficiency’ motif Taiwan seems to run on.

I guess for now my plans of balcony grandiose are in indefinitely on hold.

As you get closer to her place you realize that you don’t have any condoms on you. You don’t know the Chinese word for condom and you don’t know this girl well enough to take that chance just yet.

So what do you do…?

Well, being in Taiwan you do what everybody else does. You try to win a condom by playing one of those claw skill games.

Sounds bulletproof to me!

I’m not exactly sure what happens if you lose though… maybe there’s a claw skill game full of pregnancy kits around here somewhere too.

Tachia is in central Taiwan and is home to the Chenlan temple (Chenlan is also spelt Zhen-lan). In Taiwan Chenlan temple is the place to go to if you’re interested in worshipping Mazu (Matsu).

In Chinese culture Mazu is the goddess charged with protecting fisherman and sailors. In modern times this is extended to any Asians who have a relationship with the sea be it travel, fishing, the weather or just for good luck.

From what I understand Mazu is more of a general goddess now but still has strong roots with the sea. Statues of Mazu are generally meant to face the nearest coastline.

Being the most well known Mazu temple in Taiwan, it goes without saying that during Chinese New Year Chenlan temple was flooded with people.

To give you an idea of the scope of people who visit Chenlan I was told that on Wednesday the 17th of February there was a report on Taiwanese news stating that 600,000+ people visited the temple and made over 10 billion Taiwan dollars (approx $34,000,000 AUD) in donations that day alone.

I’m not exactly sure how accurate those numbers are but having been there myself it’s not hard to imagine.

As I’ve mentioned previously the roof art of Taiwanese temples is simply amazingly detailed and Chenlan temple’s roof didn’t fail to impress me.

This particular temple seemed to centre around the eight gods (apparently there’s some famous Chinese story) presumably with particular attention paid to Mazu.

Outside the temple was a murial type display in dedication to the eight gods:

Being the year of the tiger on the otherside of the outside area was a mural setup depicting tigers.

Finally there was also a mural depicting followers of Mazu. These were described to me as being the western equivalent of angels. I’m not entirely sure why they’re all females but I presume it’s a Chinese goddess thing.

Lucky her.

I didn’t manage to take any photos inside the temple as there wasn’t really much point. Inside was more crowded then outside and instead of seeing the temple interior you’d just wind up with photos of a sea of people.

Inside there was lots of red, handfuls of insense and a definite sense of pedestrian traffic chaos as there didn’t seem to be any particular general direction of traffic flow.

If you’re not religious Chenlan temple is probably better visited during a quieter time but if you’re in the area as I was it does make for a good visit even during busier times.

One bonus of going during a busier time is that outside you’ve got the temple market rocking with all sorts of food to try.

Regardless of the weather (which wasn’t raining but close to) Chenlan temple made for a more indepth experience into Taiwanese/Chinese culture then you’d perhaps get in the cities.

Having said that, unless you’re religious it’s probably a ’seen it once, don’t have to go again’ type place though.

Actually living the new year here in Taiwan and celebrating it however was an entirely different and more engaging experience in itself.

1. Fireworks

Coming from Australia where fireworks are mostly illegal hearing fireworks go off regularly (and I do mean regularly) is somewhat of a strange experience. The closest sound I associate to the firework bang is that of a gunshot.

Consequently this last week I’ve been ducking my head more then a few times (alright maybe hundreds) every time I hear them go off.

With the exception of the whistling fireworks which give you some warning the firework of choice here seems to be ones that let off a massive earth rumbling boom. This variety is followed closely in popularity by the ‘rata-tata-tata’ type which sounds like machine gun fire going off for about 20-30 seconds.

The worst part of it is that Chinese New Year goes for a week and you literally have fireworks going off at all hours every day of the week.

Right now it’s raining pretty solidly and I can still hear some die hards letting off their fireworks every so often.

By about day 3 (Monday or Tuesday) I was completely over fireworks and fighting off the rage that ensued whenever I heard them go off.

Be warned if you’re in one of the Asian countries where Chinese New Year is celebrated properly you might want to invest in a set of ear plugs for the first few nights.

2. Shopping availability

I can’t speak for other Asian countries but here in Taiwan half the country decides to shut down for the week of Chinese New Year. I live on a pretty busy street and there’s only three days left of the official week long holiday left, yet there’s just two food places open.

My Chinese New Year travels have taken me to some of the more remote mountainous parts of Taiwan as well as into the major cities like Taipei. Taipei was livable with from what I could see things mostly open.

Still, if you’re not familiar with the city (as I wasn’t) then expect to spend a bit of time navigating around. I was on a pretty tight schedule this week so apart from going to places meeting people I’d already planned I didn’t really have any time to get anything else done.

Internet access has been majorly problematic for me this last week. Internet cafe access in the smaller towns and regional areas has been pretty non existent. If you don’t speak Chinese outside of the main cities then forget about it.

A phrasebook will help somewhat but that only solves the issue of asking for directions in Chinese. Receiving directions to the nearest internet cafe in Chinese isn’t much help if you can’t decipher what you’re being told.

Major stores and supermarkets were all open as far as I could tell and foodwise you always had McDonalds, KFC et al. staying open.

Experiencing Chinese New Year in a city is relatively easy compared to the more authentic atmosphere of the more regional remote areas of Taiwan.

During my brief stay in Taipei the area I was in had a nice homely feeling (most likely due to the reduced numbers of people staying there) but to be honest there wasn’t any real sign of it being Chinese New Year. One thing Taipei had going for it though was that fireworks are only permitted in certain areas.

Needless to say Taipei provided some of the best nights sleep I’ve had in the past week.

In the countryside you’ve got randoms letting off fireworks and much more of a ‘where did everybody go and why is everything closed?!’ feeling. It really does feel like a ghost town at times.

3. The Weather

Before the new year started I asked someone what the average weather was during Chinese New Year. I was told it rained.

Having just come out of a week of 25+ degree sunny weather I refused to believe it. Sure enough though the rain rolled in sometime on the weekend and has kept up since.

Living in Melbourne meant we never had to put up with the rain for more then half an hour at best. Living in Taiwan however has meant the necessity of carrying an umbrella around everywhere and dealing with a constant steady stream of water falling from the sky.

It’s not torrential rain but it’s heavy enough that you don’t want to be walking around outside without an umbrella. Currently it’s been raining non-stop for the past three days.

I’m completely over it.

4. Sightseeing

Rain aside there’s all your usual stuff to do here in Taiwan during the New Year along with the added bonus of a few really good temple markets. Pretty much wherever there’s a temple in a city or town there’ll be a mass of stalls set up serving your standard fare of traditional night market food.

It can get a bit repetitive at times but it beats sitting at home bored.

Touristy attractions are guaranteed to be inundated with crowds so be prepared for long waits and masses of people everywhere you go. In this sense it was nice to visit Taipei as it seems most people leave the cities to go back to their parents places in the country for new year.

5. Public Transport

The train system seems to be touch and go over the week. In the first few days of Chinese New Year the MRA system was absolutely packed. Unless you prebooked your tickets expect to be standing, regardless of how much luggage you might have.

This gets really annoying when you’re travelling between towns and cities and have travel times of over an hour.

Towards the middle of the week getting a reserved seat was less trouble but I imagine the city bound trains are going to be jam packed again come this weekend (the final few days of the holiday period of the new year), as everybody heads back to the cities.

The MRT in Taipei on the other hand was very much quieter then usual and a pleasure to travel on. If you’re staying in Taipei for the new year getting around is definitely not a problem.

Taxi’s run as normal although expect a bit of price gouging in country towns where the drivers don’t use a meter and make up the fares.


I’ve really enjoyed this past week and have seen a lot of Taiwan via bicycle, train and car. I really liked the cultural experience I got up in the mountains and smaller towns but also enjoyed the closeknit but still bustling atmosphere of the larger cities. I suspect however that this might be some homesickness of Melbourne creeping in though.

One thing you don’t want to experience the Chinese New Year without is a plan on how to spend your time. If you’re solely staying in a city it might be ok as there’s always stuff to do but outside you really need to work out what you’re doing each day.

Taiwanese people seem to take their holidays pretty seriously so don’t count too much on sporadic spur of the moment trips to get you through the week. More often then not you’ll find places randomly closed or worse at such a capacity it’s not even worth the effort (for example I waited 12 minutes for one hotdog at one place it was so busy…).

The most important thing however it just to enjoy the time. There’s so much to do and so much food to eat it’s amazing. My waistline has definitely taken a pounding this last week but come Sunday when I’m preparing my lesson plans for Monday and getting ready to slip back into work mode, I can sit there, pat my belly and agree that it was all definitely worth it.