Not surprisingly Baldwin eventually lost control of the car and hit a tree. Melissa presumably wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and was thrown out onto the road upon impact.

The car Baldwin was driving then crushed her to death as she lay on the road.

All of the above is factual and there’s no disputing of the events as they occurred. Despite this however, when facing the Australian court system, Baldwin was found guilty and received a three year suspended sentence.

For no other reason than Jayke Baldwin is a cross dresser.

In what is arguably the most appalling sentence handed down this year by the Australian courts, Jayke Baldwin was spared actual jail time because

Victorian County Court judge Marilyn Harbison ruled that because of Baldwin’s cross-dressing and effeminate presentation he would be bullied in jail.


No really. Guy on P plates speeds, crashes car, kills girlfriend and is then spared jail because poor diddums might get bullied in jail.

How is this suspended sentence even remotely a representation of justice?

What I don’t get it is, as far as I know, everyone has to wear the same clothing in jail… and unless he’s got connections, is it common place for inmates to secure makeup in prison?

I can only assume make up is what judge Harbison meant by ‘effeminate presentation’ otherwise it’s even more ridiculous Baldwin was let off due to his natural appearance.

Forget coming up with some wank story about your childhood, how that resulted in severe emotional trauma and now you have some mental illness… the next time you find yourself fronted up in court over a murder charge just borrow or steal some of your wife/girlfriend/daughter/sister/aunties/your next door neighbour’s panties and be done with it.

With the advent of such a justice crushing precedent it’s going to be a hell of a lot easier to avoid jail now. And why just leave it to a murder charge?

Forgot to pay a parking ticket – I have ambitions to be a woman!

Left your kids in the car on a hot day – I want to be a woman one day!

Defrauded the government of millions of dollars – It’s what any woman would do, and I’m one…LOOK AT MY CLOTHES!

Here’s to the continuing complete and utter incompetence of the Australian judicial system.


If you want to experience the worst of a culture, forget travelling off the beaten track, forget booking holidays to places you’ve never heard of and forget moving there and hoping a country’s real culture eventually exposes itself to you.

All these methods might work, but if you really want to get down to the nitty gritty of certain aspects of some cultures – just do what I did.

Start dating the locals.

I’d just finished work on Tuesday night when I decided to give the girlfriend’s phone a call again. Despite feeling kind of hopeless about it I’d been trying her number every 6 hours or so in the off chance I’d get through to her.

After three days of either being cut off or hearing ‘the number you have called is unavailable’ message, this time it rang through.

This gave me a little hope so I hit redial and patiently waited…

…this time she picked up the phone. It was the first time I’d heard her voice since Saturday night and I had a million questions, of which the most important ones were;

‘hey! are you alright?! where are you!’

‘i’m…ok. I’m on the MRT’

The MRT is Taiwan’s subway system and I could hear a lot of noise in the background. This kind of made it difficult to talk.

‘what happ-actually don’t worry. Just are you sure you’re alright? I’ve been worried out of my mind the last three days.’

‘I’m ok. not really, but I’m alive’.

‘I’m going to come see you. I’ll be over in a bit’

‘now?! wait… that’s probably…I don’t think that’s a good thing for you.’

‘what? why?! Seriously I’ve eaten like one Snickers bar over 2 days and haven’t been able to concentrate on anything else.’

‘I….I have bruise and cuts. I’m not good looking.’

As she finished her last sentence she started to cry.

‘I don’t want see you. ok? I don’t think it’s a good plan for you.’

I don’t cope very well when girls start crying as it’s not something I like to see, so I didn’t offer any argument.

‘bruise and cuts? Are you sure you’re ok though. That’s all I care about.’

‘Yes I am ok now.’

I was still at work and desperately wanted to talk to her longer so I confirmed she was heading home and told her I’d call her again when I got home.

I still had a million other questions but for now wasn’t convinced she was ok.

The cycle home gave me a few minutes to think and after the relief that at least she was contactable again washed over me my mind drifted back to Saturday night.

Despite my gut feeling I’d listened to her sister and cousins and let events transpire as they did. Here I was about to do it all over again. My gut told me everything wasn’t ok and hearing her cry and talk about cuts and bruises only fuelled my wanting to see her.

When I got home I called her up and told her I was coming around. I didn’t care if she was cut up, after 3 days of worry I just wanted to see her again.

By the time I got there she was having a coffee with her sister and cousins from Saturday – who all live nearby.

Clearly they’d all gotten the details of the past three days out of the way and were now doing the supportive ‘chatting about other stuff to take your mind of it’ thing – but I still knew practically nothing.

When I arrived I must have had worry written all over my face as even though her sister’s English isn’t so good she still managed to fumble out ‘you look so worried!’ when she saw me.

I thought about giving an obvious answer but let her statement slide unanswered.

I could see a little bruising around one of my girlfriend’s eyes but I couldn’t see any cuts. I immediately hoped this didn’t mean he’d gone to work on her body, but I didn’t think it the right place to ask.

After a quick hot chocolate her sister and cousins left us alone and we went off together. I had so many questions but was aware the last thing you want after an ordeal is to be interrogated.

Over the course of the night we spent alot of time talking, she cried and I listened in disbelief.

The guy was someone she’d known for seven years but they’d only started dating late last year. They broke up early this year (thinking about it now I forgot to ask why).

Whatever the reason she was done with him but this explains why she went outside and the casualness of her sister and cousins over it. They’d known this guy for a long time and thought it was just going to be your standard ‘waaah I love you get back together with me sentiment’.

They didn’t think he was capable of what went down.

After coming in and giving me the death stare my girlfriend had left with him because he’d threatened to start a fight with me. That’s what all the death staring was about as my girlfriend collected her bag.

Apparently for Taiwanese guys death stares are something akin to a peacock showing off it’s feathers in an attempt to woo females. You know you could just talk to the guy, but hey… easier to death stare and pretend you’re the man.

After leaving they did talk a bit but then things got nasty. He dragged her off and took her to his house.

Immediately my reaction was this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

‘Why didn’t you scream and call out? You were in the middle of a busy area! How does one guy force a girl to his house?!’

Turns out she did scream and put up protest, but nobody listened. She said some people stopped and looked but then pretended like they didn’t see anything.

Apparently getting involved in what looks like a couple’s argument isn’t the done thing in Taiwan. No matter how abusive it might appear or the fact that the two people involved aren’t a couple to begin with.

Meanwhile back at his house he boarded her up and began to question her.

He wanted to know why we were holding hands… to which she replied we were a couple.

This answer resulted in a king hit to her face, cutting her upper lip and causing it to swell and bleed.

He then went off drinking, leaving her trapped inside behind locked doors. His father who was originally home fled the scene, apparently scared of his own son.

Upon returning the questioning resumed… which at some point lead to the bruising of her eye.

As I listened to her experience my mind headed in a direction I didn’t want it to. It was something I’d been dreading the past three days and despite not being a religious person was the one thing I prayed didn’t happen to her.

It was the hardest question I’ve ever had to ask someone.

‘Did… did he force you to have sex with him?’

‘…’

‘…yes. But I didn’t want to tell you.’

I began to shut down emotionally at this point. I remember just lying on my bed staring at the roof… trying to let my emotions configure themselves so I knew what it was I was supposed to be feeling.

I didn’t feel angry or outraged, which surprised me. After three days of hoping the worst didn’t happen to hear it did, left me stonewalled.

‘Do you think I’m a dirty girl? Do you want to break up with me?’ She eventually asked inbetween tears.

I tried to think but my mind had shut itself off. A tsunami of sadness washed over me as I began to feel tinges of responsibility. Someone else had put themselves through this ordeal so that I wouldn’t have to enter a potentially physical confrontation.

Despite not knowing what was going on at the time and failing to read the situation without any backstory, this was something I was going to have to live with the rest of my life.

‘No. I just feel sad. Sad for you and what you had to go through. I am so sorry.’

The rest of the night was spent reconciling her as best I could.

The other two days of her ordeal were spent mostly talking. Upon waking the next day the guy saw the blood on her face and claimed he didn’t remember anything. He got her a cold egg to ease the lip swelling and told her he was sorry.

He then began to punch himself in the face… hard enough apparently to draw blood.

What was supposed to be an act of regret obviously at that point came too late. The damage had been done.

Following that came suicide threats with knives and in general, what seemed like the outpouring of pent up emotion that is the sad end result of an overly repressed society.

He finally let her go after pleading she wouldn’t leave him and she agreed they’d remain friends.

I’ve been in this relationship a few months now and I’m still processing what went down over the past three nights. We spent a good few hours discussing why nobody had gone to the police over any of this and she said they are like the people on the street.

The police simply don’t want to get involved in what they see as couple disputes, regardless of whether rape is involved or the couple aren’t even together anymore. She said they don’t take that sort of thing seriously.

I wasn’t happy with this answer as I’m sure if I went down there and kicked up a fuss then at least still if nothing was done, in my own mind I’d be settled that I’d tried.

Regardless I don’t know what was going through her mind. It was the first time that anything like this had happened to her and I didn’t want to put her through anything else.

After a long sleep the next day I took her to get a massage to try and relax a bit and I think we’re going to be ok from here.

She’s agreed to be more careful and wants nothing more to do with the guy. Thankfully I didn’t have to convince her that she didn’t owe him anything to begin with, let alone after what he’s done.

For me personally I think I’m going to chalk this up to the tapestry that makes us who we are. I’m still not entirely happy with the outcome, that is some guy kidnaps a girl for three days, punches her, has his way with her and then receives no punishment, but this isn’t my culture.

As much as I’d love to run amok treading on toes, with my own minor experience with the police here and from what I’ve heard, my girlfriend’s sentiment on the matter is probably right. As much as I hate admitting it.

Coming from a culture where domestic violence is taken seriously and rape even more seriously, Taiwan’s apparent tolerance of both doesn’t and probably never will sit right with me.

I have a gut feeling that despite my girlfriend not having any further contact with this guy, that we haven’t seen the last of him. I hope it happens later rather then sooner as I really don’t know what I’m capable of.

I don’t know if I’ve suppressed any anger I have knowing that showing any of it now is useless or just how much of it there might be.

For now though at least she’s safe and that’s all that matters.

This isn’t the Taiwan you’ll read about in travel guides, holiday planning books or experiences people are likely to share with you. But it’s there… tucked away in what tries to present itself as a progressive society.

When I left Australia I’d hoped to leave behind what had been a turbulent year in some aspects of my life and I looked forward to sharing with people life in Taiwan from the ground level.

Turns out turbulence was already waiting for me when I got here, tenfold worse then anything I’d ever experienced back home.

It’s almost as if for most of the Taiwanese, religion is more of a superstitious convenience. It’s easier to attribute luck, Buddha, ghosts or something else for anything good or bad event that happens I guess.

That said, quite like the west you have the token religious populations but then you also have the die hards.

A few months ago now I was cycling through Hsinchu county and came across a place called Emei lake. As I cycled through Emei lake, out of the blue and seemingly in the middle of nowhere, popped up the biggest freaking Buddha statue I’ve ever seen.

My first glimpse of the statue was along an adjacent mountain. Piqued with curiosity as to what this statue was doing amongst random countryside I got closer and discovered the statue was deceptively gargantuan from afar.

Massive is a bloody understatement. This gargantuan Buddha statue comes in at 72 meters or 236 feet tall. Standing as close as I could get to the statue you really get a sense of being dwarfed by its size.

After I got home I hit the net for some further answers and turns out it’s a Maitreya Buddha; otherwise known as a future Buddha. From what I can gather he’s set to return at some point and well share his enlightenment with us or whatever it is Buddhas do when they return.

Next to the statue there’s some construction work for what I can only assume is going to be some sort of massive accompanying temple. I managed to convince the security guys watching over to let me on site for a quick photo and hopefully you can get a sense of the epic construction being undertaken here.

The building site is freakishly massive and quite impressive. Meanwhile I’m wondering how many millions a project like this costs and where the money comes in. Surely you need a bit more then random donations to erect something as massive as this.

As I cycled away with a newfound respect for Taiwanese architectural skills I couldn’t help but wonder the carnage should the statue ever fall over. Unlikely due to it’s weight I know, but cmon…. that things just begging to be toppled over by a typhoon.

Imagine the carnage if it fell onto the temple building!

When I came to Taiwan I’d heard a few stories about Taiwanese girls and their sometimes crazyness. Stories about extreme jealousy, being bombarded with phone calls and SMS messages and wanting marriage commitment after a few months were all in the back of my mind upon arriving.

Thus far my journey into Taiwan’s dating scene has been hit and miss. I’ve been yelled at, watched girls fight over me, been dropped like a hot potato for no apparent reason, had some girls try the subtle ‘buy me this!’ hints dropped at every opportunity they get and so on and so forth.

Mind you I’ve also had some wonderful times too, but thus far the negatives far outweight the positives. Well, almost. I guess the positive of feeling connected with someone overrides the negatives while it lasts.

Anyway, I digress. When I arrived in Taiwan I believed I was more then prepared to face the challenge of the local dating scene. Conscious of the cultural differences and aware that I’d be fighting stereotypes at every turn I thought I had a good shot.

Nothing though, not anything I’d read or heard about prepared me for the crazy ex-boyfriends though. I guess I’ve just been lucky thus far in that regard as it’s never come up. Until now.

Here’s how it went down.

My current girlfriend, who I’ve been seeing for nearly two months now, has started to get pretty serious. I definitely care for her and we’ve moved well beyond the casual dating stage.

Like any other weekend we were at dinner on Saturday night with her cousins and sister. Enjoying the food and chatting away I was initially oblivious at first but later recalled seeing a guy walk in, tap my girlfriend on the shoulder and walk out. His movements were abrupt so I hadn’t noticed it at first but later recalled seeing it out of the corner of my eye.

After a few seconds of what seemed like confusion. My girlfriend got up and went outside.

I got up to go and see what the fuss was about but her cousins and sister told me not to worry.

‘This guy is a joke, don’t worry will be over soon.’

Not knowing who he was or what he wanted I decided not to kick up a fuss and just let whatever was going on play out.  In hindsight, that was the biggest mistake I’ve made yet in dating girls here.

After about five minutes of him standing there with his hands on his hips and my girlfriend looking increasingly uncomfortable, they finally came inside. At this point the guy didn’t say anything to me but was clearly giving me the deathstare.

Again, a few seconds of awkwardness (I remained seated as her cousins and sister told me not to worry), my girlfriend grabbed her bag and left with him. Not a word to me.

‘Alright, I’ve been patient – can someone tell me what the hell just happened?’

‘It’s ok. That guy is a joke, he’s jealous of you. Don’t worry, they’re just over there talking. We’ll go to the night market and she’ll join us later.’

This made me extremely uncomfortable.

‘Who is that guy and how did he know we were here?’

I’d recalled my girlfriend telling me about one of her sister’s crazy exes. He’d routinely stalk her house till all hours of the morning and track her down if she went out. Any guy that dated her he’d try to fight.

Y’know, to show her he still cared or something, regardless of the fact she wanted nothing to do with him.

He’d also held her hostage a few times threatening to beat her up if she left… and he’d broken her phone in a fit of rage recently. My girlfriend’s sister was prone to disappearing once every few weeks when this guy would abduct her.

When I asked why they didn’t do anything about it, I was told that the police don’t like to get involved in this sort of stuff as they see it as not important.

Turns out this ex knew the guy who’d interrupted our dinner and my girlfriend’s cousins decided the sister’s ex must have followed us here and called the other guy up, just to shit stir.

Anyway, I sat there anxiously and we continued dinner. I wanted to go outside but decided this was something my girlfriend would probably be best to handle. She’s a strong girl so I figured it’d be ok.

This was the second biggest mistake I made that evening.

When the time came to leave for the nightmarket and still I hadn’t seen any sign of her I pleaded with her sister and cousins.

‘Look I’ll stay here so there’s no fights but please go and get her. This is ridiculous and I’m hugely uncomfortable not knowing what exactly is going on.’

Finally agreeing, they went out to get her and returned about ten minutes later…

…my girlfriend wasn’t with them.

‘Um…she’s gone. We don’t know where they went.’

Now I was ready to panic.

‘but it’s ok, I think she is safe. Let me call her.’

…no answer.

‘Safe? If she’s safe then where is she?’

‘…I don’t know.’

‘Who was that guy?!’

‘just some guy… he’s jealous of you.’

‘so he’s taken her away?!’

‘Yes.’

‘Why doesn’t (name removed) just leave?!!’

‘If she does… he’ll beat her up. He probably take her phone too. She left with him so he wouldn’t fight you.’

‘And you think she is SAFE?!?!’

The complete blaiseness of the trio left me gobsmacked. Meanwhile I had uncomfortable knots in my stomach forming with horrible images of rape, assault and god knows what else forming in my mind.

I knew that if something like this happened back home the outcome probably wouldn’t be good for those involved. If my girlfriend was willing to leave with this guy after he supposedly threatened her he’d have a punch on, what else would he be able to convince her to do?

What followed has easily been the worst 24 hours of my time here in Taiwan.

I stayed with the cousins and sister for the rest of the night glancing at my watch and hoping that my girlfriend would call one of us at any moment to say she was ok and would be joining us – she did call once and spoke briefly to her sister but the call got cut off.

‘He take the phone,’ she explained showing me vivid hand action re-enactments.

I should point out at this point that the cousins and her sister had very little English ability so my information was scarce. I got the feeling much more was going on from the outbursts of rapid talking between them from time to time but nothing was explained to me.

Finally midnight rolled around and we decided to call it a night. By this point I was beyond panic and the deep onset of worry had well and truly encapsulated my thought train.

I’d thought about going to the police but knew all I had for them was ‘some guy ran off with my girlfriend and might be beating her to a bloody pulp or worse’.

I knew nothing more and figured there was little they could do.

With a crushingly overwhelming sense of hopelessness I parted from the trio and went home. Still, I hoped against hope that I’d get that phone call saying she was ok.

I tried to sleep at home with my phone next to me ear so I’d hear it… but it was hopeless. I was worried sick at this point.

At around 3am my phone started to ring and I was relieved to see it was her number.

‘Finally!’ I thought to myself.

I answered the phone and my what little hope I had left sunk from my throat to the pit of my stomach. It was a guy on the phone and I presumed the same guy from the restaurant.

‘Hey you. Fuck you. Yeah… fuck you!’

‘sorry what?’

‘I am (name removed)’s boyfriend. Fuck you. I want to kill you! Where are you?’

‘Where are you? Where is (name removed)?’

‘Where are you? Fuck you… I am (name removed)’s boyfriend.’

The conversation went around in circles in this manner. I sensed this guy didn’t know much English and was doing his best to sound agressive over the phone.

I eventually hung up but for about thirty minutes he kept calling back. I had to pick it up incase my girlfriend managed to get the phone (I never heard her in the background), but I put it on speakerphone and each time it was him calling.

The rest of the night was uneventful, save for my not sleeping at all well due to complete fullblown worry. There had been times I’d felt hopeless in Taiwan what with the language barrier and everything but it’d never been this bad.

When I woke up from a troubled sleep at around 8am, my girlfriends phone had been switched off, run out of battery or worse still, destroyed. It went straight to the ‘this number is unavailable’ message.

It’s been over 24 hours now since I last saw my girlfriend and I’m still a worrying wreck. What exactly has/is happened/happening I have no idea and it’s killing me.

I just hope she’s ok.

So that’s been the last 24 hours of my life. In a country where it’s seemingly normal for ex-boyfriends to hold their exes hostage, beat them and destroy their phones I feel slightly out of place. I don’t know what to think. I’m trying hard not to jump to any conclusions and the wave of emotions and thoughts I’ve had has been overwhelming.

I’ve been angry at myself for not stepping in, angry at her for leaving without saying anything or explaining, angry at her cousins and sister for not being able to fill me in properly… worried to death that he’s done something to her, that she’s hurt or worse, I don’t know. But most of all it’s not knowing. That’s a deep worrying sadness that’s underneath any other thoughts I’ve had.

Meanwhile, I’m stuck waiting for a phonecall, email or something to tell me she’s ok. For now that’s all I’m worried about. What exactly went down and who he is can come later.

Apologies if I don’t write over the next few days – I’m  not in the right headspace for it.

In the lead up to recent election, Julia Gillard stated it wasn’t something she wasn’t prepared to bring up until the current Queen died and Tony Abbott has declared himself a staunch Monarchist. Regardless of who eventually gets into power it seems the republic debate is off the table for a few years yet.

This fact was recently picked up on by Australian of the Year Patrick McGorry. McGorry entered into the Australian republic debate today by claiming that ‘the nation’s political leaders are too worried about focus groups to push for a republic‘.

With minorities having an increasing power wielding capacity in our political landscape (one only needs to look at the current hung parliament to see the evidence), it’s easy to not only see where McGorry’s coming from, but also to agree with him.

…but then came the fineprint.

National issues like the proposed internet filter, immigration and the economy have long since felt like they’ve been controlled by focus groups. One only needs to attempt to suggest reform in any of these categories and it doesn’t take long before the christian family lobby groups, bleeding hearts focus groups and the mining giants respectively clamp down on you.

For publicly pointing this out and rallying the cry for a public champion to push the Australian republic agenda McGorry should be praised. It’s high time the republic movement got it’s shit together and put forward a blueprint plan of action.

Howard did a great job of stuffing up the last attempt and sadly the movement hasn’t recovered since.

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with McGorry’s position on a republic, his additional comments on Aboriginal sovereignty left me questioning his ultimate motive.

it is hard to see how the unextinguished claims of the Aboriginal peoples to sovereignty of this country can be responded to while the Union Jack still has pride of place on our flag and the Queen of England is head of state.


Note that he’s not talking about a few Mabo claims to crown land, he actually lays out a claim to the entire country itself.

Sorry but when did becoming a republic mean recognising Aboriginal sovereignty over the entire nation of Australia? And how exactly is that going to work?

What, we trade in one mostly silent overlord for what would arguably be a much more active other? Aboriginal sovereignty as it stands shouldn’t mean too much more then it does to me.

I was born in Australia just like most of them and consider it my home. The fact that the Queen is still our head of state and resembles complete irrelevancy in the majority of Australia’s affairs and the lives of it’s citizens irritates me.

Not enough to launch a civil war over or anything but it’s always there lurking in the long term activist portion of my mind as something that needs to be one day resolved.

My plans for an independent republic of Australia however by no means includes handing over. For this reason an Australian republic is important to me. It’s certainly not however about passing off power to minority and focus groups.

The idea behind dismantling the sovereign tie between Australia is that Australia is released into the hands of Australians, all Australians. Not some select mob of Aboriginals with entitlement issues.

The last republic referendum was plagued with confusion after a successful campaign that presented a severely flawed model to the Australian public. The last thing the movement needs is Aboriginals latching onto the idea and pushing through ridiculous amendments that are guaranteed to fail on a national scale.

Aboriginals, along with all the other minority and focus groups out there looking to capitalize on the republic movement can keep their grubby little hands off it thankyou very much. A republic should and should always be for the entirety of the nation, not just a select few.

If the choice becomes an Australian republic with forced acknowledgement of Aboriginal sovereignty or maintaining the current system, well I don’t think there’s really that much else to say…

…long live the queen anyone?

For those of you that came in late, so the story goes that Stephanie and Darryl Mann found their cat Lola sealed in a rubbish bin. The couple heard Lola meowing from the bin and came to her rescue.

Luckily the Mann household was equipped with a video security system and upon watching security footage, the couple witnessed one of the most brazen acts of animal cruelty I’ve ever seen.

Watch the footage for yourself;


What you’re looking at there is footage showing that fifteen hours before Lola was found, a middle aged woman walked by the Mann’s property, stroked Lola for a few seconds, calmly dumped her into the rubbish bin and then closed the lid and walked away as if nothing had happened.

In a bid to find the sick individual responsible, the Mann’s published their home security footage on Youtube in the hope that she would be tracked down.

Less then 24 hours later, the internet delivered.

The RSPCA were allegedly the first to uncover the mystery animal abuser but refused to go public with her identity. Nonetheless the police were notified and fearing public backlash offered the woman protection.

A short time later she was publicly named and shamed online as Mary Bale, a bank clerk from Coventry.

With her identity unmasked and insults and death threats flying left right and centre from all over the world, Mary’s mother, Celia came to her rescue. Celia insisted that

She’s my daughter and as far as I’m concerned she is the most caring person you could ever wish to meet. She loves cats.

She absolutely adores cats, she’s an animal lover, it just doesn’t make sense.


What?! Sorry but the only thing that doesn’t make sense is trying to claim Mary Bale loves cats. In the video footage you can clearly see her looking around to make sure nobody’s around before throwing Lola into the bin.

This is someone who knows what she’s doing is wrong and simply doesn’t care.

In response to the criticism levelled against her after she was identified, Bale stated

I really don’t see what everyone is getting so excited about – it’s just a cat.

I don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly thought it would be funny to put it in the wheelie bin, which was right beside me.


‘Just a cat?’ Yeah, clearly Mary Bale is someone who loves animals. Obviously she’s failed to realise the impact of her actions and nor does Bale appear to have any remorse or understanding of animal cruelty.

Despite the video footage and public outcry however, amazingly no arrest has been made yet. Police are claiming that ‘Ms Bale (has) not committed a crime‘.

Meanwhile the Animal Welfare Act of 2006 section 4 clearly states that

A person commits an offence if—

(a)an act of his, or a failure of his to act, causes an animal to suffer,

(b)he knew, or ought reasonably to have known, that the act, or failure to act, would have that effect or be likely to do so,

(c)the animal is a protected animal, and

(d)the suffering is unnecessary.


Seeing as the Act’s definition for a protected animal is simply ‘a vertebrate other than man‘, I’d this obviously covers cats.

Clearly the woman in the video footage is Mary Bale, so check on A.

How anyone could not know that putting a cat into a wheelie bin is going to cause it to suffer is beyond me, so check again on B.

Cats are a vertebrae so easily a check on C and the suffering incurred by someone putting a cat into a wheelie is obviously unnecessary so check on D too.

Now I’m not a detective but clearly this should be simply a case of

‘hi, are you Mary Bale?’

‘why yes.’

‘Is this you in this video?’

‘why yes’

‘right, off to jail with you then.’

The maximum penalty for breaching the Animal Welfare Act is up to 51 weeks of imprisonment or a fine of 20,000 pounds. Hell in this occasion I don’t see why they couldn’t enforce both.

Whether you’re a dog person or a cat person is irrelevant here. What we have is a clear case of animal abuse in which the perpetrator shows absolutely no regard for animal welfare by disposing of  a cat in a rubbish bin.

There is no ambiguity about the  suspects identity, she’s been recorded on video footage committing the act and according to the Animal Welfare Act there’s definitely a case to answer for.

So what are you waiting for England, haul this sorry excuse for a woman’s arse in already!

In a world where too much animal cruelty goes unreported this is one woman we can make an example of. If not, then what bloody hope do the rest of the animal kingdom have?

With the sun down and the mercury still at a pleasant 28-29, a walk along the beach seemed the perfect way to end the night.

So we thought.

Walking along the boardwalk at a casual pace enjoying the atmosphere, being Taiwan most people were either still working or had family business to attend to. Save for a few lonely teenagers we pretty much had the boardwalk to ourselves.

As we discussed life in general just did the happy couple thing, out of the corner of my eye I suddenly realised we weren’t alone.

Mere meters away from the boardwalk was this guy. Watching us with his hate filled, accusing eyes.

Yes, that’s a fullsized lamppost in the background holding up his massive spider web too.

To give you an indication of size  this guy was about the size of a small tea saucer and about an inch and a half tall or thick.

Here’s a closer shot;

And a closer shot again,

At this point I was trembling and taking photos was kinda useless. I’m one of those arachnophobic people who’s first reaction is to squash it dead any time I see an insect. Getting so close to such a large spider where I could see him moving about his little tendon things around his mouth had me breaking out in a cold sweat.

I felt like he was going to jump onto me at anytime and give me an Aliens face sucking moment.

After picking up our hearts off the pavement and continuing, it wasn’t long before we got to another stretch of the boardwalk that wasn’t too well lit. By this stage I was wide eyed and peering in all directions to make sure I didn’t walk into a giant spiderweb that this time wouldn’t be so thoughtfully placed to the side.

‘we should probably turn back,’ she said.

‘why?’

‘I don’t like the lighting here, it’s too dark.’

‘but there’s nobody around, what’s going to happen?’

‘that’s what I don’t like. There’s nobody around and it’s dark over there.’

‘relax it’ll be fine. This is Taiwan it’s safe to walk anywhere.’

Reluctantly I persuaded her to continue as I felt I needed to wind down a bit after the giant spider ordeal.

As we ventured out into the dark part of the path I started to relax a bit. I mean I’d been here for over six months now and that was the first giant spider I’d seen in Taiwan. Clearly it wasn’t an everyday occurrence and arachnophobia or not… I decided I had nothing to worry about.

The conversation picked up again and we started to discuss our spider histories. You know, ‘so what’s the biggest spider you’ve ever seen’ type stuff.

‘well, the biggest spider I’ve seen was back ho-OMG WHAT WAS THAT?!’

Somewhere over the bushes, amongst the pitch black beyond what either of us could make out came the sudden angry sounding howling of wild dogs, and they seemed way to close for comfort.

Again the howling sounded and although it might have just been a spur of the moment thing, they definitely sounded like they were getting closer.

We took one look at eachother and instinctively turned and ran. Back into the well lit area of the boardwalk , past the giant spider (who was still there) and onto the safety of the scooter.

As we raced away from the horrors of the beach in silence, I made a mental note that Taiwan’s beaches were off my list for places to go for a romantic evening stroll. Permanently.

Between wild dogs hunting us down and arachnophobia inducing giant freaking spiders I think it’ll be a while yet before I return for even a daytime swim.

Infact most people raise more then eyebrow when they see someone they haven’t seen in a while who has undergone a sizeable weight change. In the extreme cases there might even be shock at the change of appearance.

I know this has happened to me personally but thankfully it’s never extended past the ‘holy crap’ gaping mouth open stage.

With this change in appearance comes the obvious need to maintain anything that relies on your physical identity. Doctors records, a photo ID for work perhaps and of course if you’re using it – your passport.

What should be common sense to most seems to have been oblivious to one Derrick Agyeman. So much so that after being refused re-entry into Britain after a weekend away, he’s now suing in an attempt to try and make a buck off it.

Agyeman travelled out of the UK back in 2006 using a passport photo that was at least nine years old. Then, after a weekend trip to Amsterdam to visit friends was refused re-entry because he didn’t look like his passport photo.

Specifically because of ‘because of differences in the thickness of the his ears and lips‘. Whilst that might not sound like much, there’s also the fact that since the passport was taken Agyeman had also put on 31kg.

When you hand an official your passport they’ve got nothing else to go on bar your photo that the passport actually belongs to you. Infact this passport check is what we pay the officials for.

Upon being rejected, Agyeman was then banished back to the Amsterdam where he had to wait three months before being allowed back in.

What this hold up is  I have no idea as you’d think a few phonecalls could easily sort this out. Well, unless of course there was no recent photo evidence of Agyeman or some other such.

Currently living overseas I’d like to think if I fronted to the Australian embassy I’d be able to get any identification issues sorted out quite promptly.

Not happy with his treatment, Agyeman took Britain’s Foreign Office to court and lost. Not happy with the outcome he appealed and… well, he lost again.

As far as I know it’s the passport owners responsibility to ensure that you look like the photo on your passport. Not close to, not reasonably like… but to a near identical replica as you can get it. Your passport photo is supposed to be a representation of yourself and putting on 32kg with 9 years on the clock isn’t going to be a resemble anything remotely accurate.

One quick look in the mirror should have established that.

Whilst I do agree that perhaps the official procedures for this do need to be looked at as three months does sound a bit excessive, once again it appears we’ve got another case of someone willing to blame everyone but themselves for their misfortune.

When asked about the situation, Agyeman replied

I cry when I think about what happened to me.

It’d be interesting to know if he’s talking about his treatment by border protection, the fact that he’s put on such an excessive amount of weight, the mistake of not updating his passport photo before leaving or a combination of all three.

I know I’d be pretty devastated if I packed on 31kg.

Agyeman is currently considering a second appeal on the decision, which if it goes ahead, hopefully it’ll fail again. Slackening of airport security to appease one one lazy traveller does seem a bit counter productive to all the effort and money that’s been pumped into the industry.

Infact I’d say the fact that Agyeman was refused re-entry is proof that these guys are doing their job.

Suing them does seem to be a rather fruitless exercise (no pun intended).

These emails usually contain some rubbish story and then ask for money. Despite evolving to use creative language and ever interesting storylines, they always come down to sending money somewhere. Always with the money.

Despite this template design though, fast forward to the year 2010 and people are still falling for scam emails en masse. So much so that last week NSW Fair Trading commissioner Virginia Judge issued an alert on online scams to the general public.

The irony being that the alert was only issued after Judge herself fell for the scam.

“According to the scam email, my friend, Ross Steele, was stuck in Spain, missing a wallet and no funds for accommodation or means to get back to Sydney,” she said.


No doubt Steele’s email account had been compromised and thus a bulk email had been sent out to his contact list. Typically such email hijacks occur when idiots people open dubious attachments or install suspicious software.

Now one would imagine the first port of call after receiving such an email address would be the telephone. It’s 2010, people carry their mobiles with them all the time when they travel.

Of course these experienced hackers were one step ahead of common sense:

“The email also claimed I was unable to be contacted by phone,” Steele said, adding that at least five of his friends had sent money.


‘Unable to be contacted by phone but I’m using the internet and please send me money’?

Why on Earth didn’t any of these people’s ‘something’s wrong’ blinkers go up? Had any of those five friends (NSW Fair Trading minister Virginia Judge included), they’d have quickly found out that Steele ‘was in fact in Sydney, having never left the country.’

Thus is the reason scamming people on the internet continues to be a profitable venture.

‘Hmm, my mate just sent me an email from Spain asking for money. He’s using the internet in a well known capital city but apparently can’t use the phone.

What do I do? I know, I’ll blindly send him some money!’

The irony of the fair trading commissioner being caught out is delicious and I find it highly presumptuous for her to release an alert after only having fallen for the scam herself.

Falling for the good old Western Union scam email and then sending out an alert because you assume the nation is as naive as yourself takes giant balls.

Bravo Ms Judge.

The only way this story could have been more delicious is if somehow Stephen Conroy was involved. Probably a good thing he wasn’t though, he’d probably have wired half the national treasury to stop the scams coming through the portal.

Of course when he was inevitably caught out he’d then he’d try and blame it on evil Russian mobsters…

Employees are human and if history has taught us anything it’s that humans can be unpredictable. This isn’t some kind of modern breakthrough in the social sciences either, infact it should be kind of obvious.

Still, that hasn’t stopped Ali Iskafi for taking Telstra to court. He’s crying racial vilification over being called a ‘fucking terrorist’ at a work function.

Whether the function was offsite or not hasn’t been made clear. There’s no doubt however that cases like this are going to push the boundaries of just what employers are liable for when it comes to employee interaction.

On the surface of the law suit it appears that a fellow Telstra employee made the terrorist remark at a work function and it appears to have been a once off.

The context of the comment hasn’t been made clear but I’m assuming there was some kind of lead up to the remark as it’s a bit extreme to have just happened randomly.

Context aside though, of note is that Iskafi claims that after the remark was made he ‘suffered a loss of income and earnings and incurred expenses for medical treatment after the incident‘.

Now this is a massively ambiguous claim and is definitely wide open to interpretation.

Firstly was Iskafi fired or did he quit. Suing for loss of income insinuates he was fired or forced to quit. Now I don’t for a second believe Telstra would fire someone on the remark that they were a terrorist from another employee, but perhaps they fired Iskafi for something else. Working as a business sales consultant obviously Iskafi’s sales performance factors into the equation or it could have been another reason he was fired.

If Iskari was fired it does beg the question as to when he was fired as the incident happened over a year ago now in July 2009. I mean why wait so long before launching legal action if the comment has such an alleged detrimental affect on your life?

Otherwise leaving your job over one remark seems a bit soft skinned. As unpleasant as being called a terrorist must have been by a fellow employee it’s not like Telstra doesn’t have its own HR department.

For me this is probably going to be the deciding factor as to whether have Telstra have a case to answer for, or whether this is just a disgruntled ex-employee looking for a pay out.

Telstra no doubt have an internal policy on this sort of stuff so it begs the question as to whether the incident went reported and if so, what was the outcome? One would think calling a fellow employee a ‘fucking terrorist’ would be virtually grounds for instant dismissal or at least some serious reprimanding.

As for medical treatment expenses, I can’t help but wonder what Iskafi’s playing at there. I mean short of falling over in shock following the remark, how exactly does being called a terrorist result in medical expenses? Presumably they’re quite extensive to warrant being tacked onto the court case but this only raises more questions over exactly what Iskafi’s claiming.

At the end of the day though as much as I’d like to brush this off as another case of ‘harden the fuck up’ I do think the comment is a bit on the harsh side. As for whether Telstra are responsible, well only if they didn’t do anything about it or somehow actively encouraged the behaviour.

If your boss said it during an appraisal then yeah sure, Telstra most definitely have something to answer for. Some random employee saying at a work function though?

Well that’s hardly Telstra’s fault and how exactly are they supposed to prevent it happening?

No doubt there’s already been a bout of HR emails sent out and a bunch of posters put up around Telstra reminding everyone to hold hands and put on a happy face, but at the end of the day people will be people.

It would be interesting to know if the employee who made the comments is still working at Telstra and why Iskari isn’t taking direct action against him or her. I mean surely calling someone a terrorist in a professional capacity leaves you personally liable for your comments?

The cynic in me wants to put it down to an individual not having as much money as a corporation but well, y’know… a spade is a spade and all that.

Hopefully this case gets thrown out as I don’t really like the precedent it’s going to set if by some miracle Iskari wins. Workplace politics in many offices is already ridiculous and cases like this going ahead is only going to make the environments more awkward to work in.

By far my favourite brand of tshirt out there, for years now I’ve been caught between loving the style of American Apparel’s plain fine jersey tshirts and learning to live as a second class citizen.

As far as American Apparel’s marketing department is concerned, anyone living outside of the US is gullible consumer whore trash all but willing to be shafted over to kingdom come.

Back in March this year American Apparel announced that they were on the verge of bankruptcy. For me the reason for this bankruptcy was clear. By operating in a global market and subsequently ripping off their entire international customer base, American Apparel had dug themselves into a massive financial hole.

People like me want to buy their tshirts but refuse to because of the bullshit prices we are charged by American Apparel.

For me, the last straw was learning that all third party only resellers of American Apparel were forced to start putting crappy logos on their plan fine jersey tshirts. Thus negating the primary reason I fell in love with the fine jersey’s in the first place, they were plain, simple and good fitting tshirts.

Fast forward to August and it seems nothing much has changed over at American Apparel HQ. The business side of the company still seems to be run by complete idiots.

For the months of March, April and May American Apparel reported a 7 million dollar loss, and yesterday revealed a total debt of 120 million US dollars.

Additionally,

the retailer said it was likely to breach the terms of its agreement with its main lender, private equity firm Lion Capital, next month.


Not working in the finance sector I’m not entirely sure what your standard lending agreement is but I’m assuming a breach is code for ‘sorry but we didn’t make any money this quarter so we can’t repay you’.

As if that wasn’t bad enough it’s also been revealed that American Apparel are under investigation by US authorities.

The company also said in its quarterly report that it received a federal subpoena in July – as well as inquiries from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission – regarding the resignation of its former auditors.


American Apparel’s former auditors were some accounting firm called Deloitte. They quit back in March ‘after warning of problems with the company’s financial reporting‘.

Again, I’m not a finance expert but I’m pretty sure ‘problems with the company’s financial reporting‘ is code for ‘these guys have absolutely no idea what they are doing’.

When I last wrote about American Apparel I had no idea who American Apparel founder Dov Charney was and stated that I didn’t care. Evidently perhaps I should care as this guy seems to be content to run American Apparel into the ground.

When asked about the troubles American Apparel are facing, Charney stated

A lot of assumptions that I grew up with are no longer reality.Those were things that we could rely on: that lenders will always be there, that they’ll behave ethically and they’ll always have money, that you can trust that as the sun comes up the consumer will be healthy, that we’ll always be close to full employment in developed nations.

Now there are no certainties.


So let me get this straight. The founder of American Apparel’s business plan revolved around the certainty that money will always be able to be borrowed, economies will remain healthy and employment will never fall.

Jesus fucking christ is it any wonder American Apparel has a hard on for inevitable bankruptcy?!

I could waffle on about economics and what not but the problems American Apparel are facing can be broken down into much simpler terms. Here’s the simplest reason as to why the company continues to post such abysmal performance in the market place.

Currently if I order a 7 pack of plain fine jersey tshirts from American Apparel themselves (only available in white, black or asphalt), it’ll set me back $91 on sale with $25 whacked on for shipping to Taiwan.

This is a total of $116 USD.

Meanwhile if I head over to Tuffy McPuggles I can order a 6 pack of fine jersey tshirts in any color for $47.90 USD with $24.66.

This is a total of $72.56, a saving of $43.44 USD.

The downside? Tuffy McPuggles and all other resellers are not allowed by American Apparel to sell plain tshirts, they have to brand them and that is a huge turnoff for me. Infact I refuse to buy them.

What this policy does however is create the absolute absurdity that it is cheaper to buy LOGO BRANDED American Apparel tshirts from a 3rd party vendor then it is to buy FREAKING PLAIN TSHIRTS FROM AMERICAN APPAREL THEMSELVES!

Seriously, these are tshirts that have had logos applied to them (more work) and THEY ARE BLOODY CHEAPER THEN YOUR PLAIN TSHIRTS DIRECT FROM YOUR OWN GODDAMN STORE!

This and this alone is why American Apparel are being slaughtered in the market. How can you not sell a plain tshirt cheaper then a logo’d one?!

At the end of the day as tempting as it is to stock up on a decades worth of tshirts in the likely event American Apparel tshirts disappear, people like myself aren’t going to fork over the extra money and this is where you’re not seeing any sales. As far as sales distribution models go, this is complete and utter fail on American Apparel’s behalf.

Unless something is changed, as much as it pains me to say it, American Apparel and Dov Charney deserve their impending bankruptcy and everything that goes along with it.

Signed,

One fed up as hell American Apparel customer

The days of livestock grazing on open rolling plains is fast becoming extinct and more then ever humanity is going to have to rely on science more then ever to fix the problem.

Personally I’d rather see science solve the greater problem of the world’s population reaching nine billion, but admittedly science has a ways to go yet before it can compete with stupid people outbreeding their environments.

In the meantime however, a group of scientists in the UK have suggested we all bunker down and prepare for artificially grown meat fresh from the vat, otherwise known as ‘in vitro meat‘.

Mmmm artificial vat grown meat. It’s the other, other, other white… well we’re not actually sure if it fits the definition of meat or not but you don’t really have a choice now do you.

Bon Apetite.

Whislt the mental image of in vitro produced meat might conjure up horror images of giant vats full of spam or some other disgusting blend of processed meat, the reality is that in theory the meat produced in vitro is the same as it’s naturally occurring counterpart.

Using science to develop muscle tissue with a carefully controlled balance of nutrients, scientists hope to solve world hunger and have us all chowing down on motherless meat over the next few decades.

I’d love to pretend that for me it was an environmental concern or a decision based on the welfare of the animals we eat but truth be told I’m quite happy with the current processes put in place.

The reality is I don’t see how my meat makes it’s way into my meals (hell, in Taiwan I’ve rarely laid eyes on rare meat in it’s uncooked form), so have become quite accepting of whatever methods farmers use to get tasty meat into my belly.

Personally I don’t subscribe to the notion we should all just become vegetarians. I mean yes there are some tasty vegetarian dishes around but seriously, eating them day in day out isn’t comparable to the tasty smorgasbord that meat offers.

No, for me the acceptance of artificial in vitro meat comes down to one thing and one thing alone;

‘Does it taste as good as its naturally produced counterpart?’

This is the big question and one that I’m willing to put before every other consideration. I don’t care if in vitro meat is colorless, looks funny, conjures up weird images of crazy science experimental ‘frankenmeat’ or comes out of a factory representing more of a pharmaceutical factory then a farm.

No, for me it comes down to one thing and one thing only, taste.

If the taste is comparable, the same or even better then in vitro meat is one technology I’m more then happy to throw my weight behind. Obviously in vitro meat would have to be environmentally and animal friendly and maintain a production capacity similar to conventional meat production that currently exists.

At a reported cost of one million dollars for 250g of in vitro meat production however I doubt we’ll be chowing down on it en-masse anytime soon.

Still, it does appear to be the direction our food production is going and if it can be done cost effectively, be of similar quality in taste and texture to natural meat, boost animal welfare and satisfy world food requirements, then why not?

Theoretically meat is meat, whatever the method of production.

Not knowing who Chaouk was, I paid little attention to the initial reports of his death. Some guy I’ve never heard of died in one of Melbourne’s trashy western suburbs gets a big yawn from me and it’s onto the next news story.

Despite the irrelevance of this Chaouk guy, coverage of his death has remained persistent in the media and yesterday climaxed with the Chaouk family basically telling the media to sod off.

Ok guys, now you’ve got my full attention – so let’s see what you’ve got to say.

A statement read out by Chaouk’s nephew on behalf of the Chaouk family declared;

We are Macchour’s family and contrary to all media beat up, would like to declare to our fellow Australian’ that;

1. There is gross exaggeration in dealing with this sad event and its coverage. For example, using “underworld killings”, “war in the suburbs” and “vicious gun culture”.

2. We want to strongly believe that the Australian justice system and police will secure the rights of the innocent victim and his family in bringing the killer(s) of this terrible crime to justice.


Curious as to what warranted such ‘gross exaggeration‘ I decided to have a look into Macchour Chaouk’s history.

Turns out he’s not so ‘innocent’ after all.

Chaouk’s history reads like any other criminal. Man starts work in Australia in honest job, man gets sick of honest work, man turns to crime, man makes bucketloads of money,  man makes lots of enemies and finally, man winds up dead.

The Herald Sun puts it more succinctly;

In 1975, Macchour Chaouk was charged with his first offence — assault with a weapon after he beat another man with metal bars at a factory.

In 1983 he was convicted of trafficking heroin, and two years later was charged with assaulting police.

And his crimes were not just restricted to Victoria. In 1984 he was charged with assault and burglary by NSW police.

In 1985 he was incapacitated by two motor accidents, and has not worked since.

In 1986, Macchour Chaouk was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and spent years on anti-depressants.

He was charged with recklessly causing serious injury after beating a man over an allegedly stolen bike in 1991.

In 2000, Chaouk was sentenced to five years in prison for trafficking in heroin.


Hardly a model citizen and from the sounds of it as far from the ‘innocent victim’ label the Chaouk family are bandying about.

And as for the Chaouk family themselves, in October 2004 Victoria’s Organised Crime Squad launched Operation Vapor because they feared ‘for the safety of the (Chaouk) family’s enemies‘.

Within six months, investigators on Vapor had gathered sufficient evidence to lay a number of charges against some family members and their associates.

The charges included attempted murder, false imprisonment, drug offences and serious assaults, as well as perverting the course of justice.


Right. Well Macchouk’s family sound like a bunch of swell chaps too.

Regardless of whether or not Macchour was innocent or involved in anything illegal leading up to his death (indirectly or otherwise), it’s clear that money would most likely have been funneling to him from somewhere within his family. How this money was earned is most likely only known between those directly involved in its earning and the police.

For this reason I find the plea to their ‘fellow Australian citizens‘ by the Chaouk family a bit of a hard pill to swallow. Yes it’s sad when a family member dies but expecting the rest of the country to sympathise with you is a bit much.

From one fellow Australian to a family seemingly full of criminals;

Let’s not pretend Macchour was some kind of model citizen now that he’s dead. Obviously he and the rest of his family were/are involved in shady drug business and as a society it’s more then likely for the greater good that he’s gone.

Was Macchour murdered? Yes. Did his grandkids need to witness it? No. Was he an innocent victim? Hardly.

You only need to look at the bikies and associated criminals that rocked up to his funeral to decide what type of character Macchouk was.

God knows what mess he was involved in this time but a random killing this was not. Get caught up in organised crime and this is the kind of crap your family can expect to happen to you. Moreso if they themselves are also involved in the ‘family business’.

I’ve got no idea who killed Macchour Chaouk but hope that this doesn’t start another wave of stupid underground killings. If for nothing else then the fact that I can’t bear to put up with another season of Channel 9′s Underbelly.

Sadly, the only tragedy here is that Macchour’s death most likely paves the way for some other kingpin to take his place in Melbourne’s drug empire.

No doubt we’ll hear about the great tragedy and loss of an innocent life claims from their family when they get taken out as well.

Such is life Macchour, such is life.

It’s only when you want to feed a large group of people, such as a family, that the cost of eating in becomes comparable to eating out.

I was recently at one such family dinner and following the mountain of a banquet the rare opportunity arose to participate in some dish washing. Needless to say when a family sits down to eat a ton of food the dish count is quite high and takes a while.

After we’d finished washing up, one of the family members began to start stacking the dishes in what looked like a wine chiller.

‘Oh cmon, surely you guys aren’t that desperate for chilled bowls and plates?!’

Turns out it wasn’t a wine chiller but rather an electric dish dryer.

I’m not entirely sure but I believe the blue light is also a sterilizer, but I had trouble explaining that concept in broken English/Chinese so I can’t say for certain.

Regardless an electric dish dryer migth be ok if you live in Antartica, or Iceland, or Alaska… when it comes to Taiwan however we’re talking average temperatures of 28 degrees C in summer and 18 degrees C in winter (it varies a bit north to south but it’s anything but cold).

I don’t sweat much as it is but in the heat of summer if I stray too far away from a fan it’s not long before the waterworks turn on and I’m reaching for a bubble tea or slurpee.

Yet somehow in this climate someone has not only managed to make available an electric dish dryer but also convinced people that they need one.

Worse still people are actually buying them!

I mean why wait for nature to dry your dishes when you can just nuke them. Working 85 hours a day, cleaning your house 8 times a week, washing your clothes in the bathtub every night, putting electrical appliances that are used daily back in their box after every use… all that’s fine, but don’t expect us to waste time drying dishes.

Psh, that’s crazy talk.

Having been seeing a girl steadily for about a month now and completely missing February’s Valentines day due to being single, this time around I had no excuse.

When you live in a country where you can barely read anything and you’re at the stage where speaking to people is still mostly a chore due to language barriers, trying to organise anything remotely romantic is an uphill battle.

Asking other guys for help seems a bit weird, asking other single girls is a no-no because you leave them feeling depressed and asking taken girls is a waste of time as you either make them insanely jealous and cop flak from their boyfriends, or they’re too busy organising their own day.

In the end I settled for some good old fashion flowers. On the day however I realised I had no idea where to buy any. My foolproof plan on relying on roadside vendors to pop up over the weekend fell through due to the utter lack of aforementioned roadside vendors.

No shit, when Chinese New Year rolls around every guy with a blue truck is out there peddling fireworks. The rest of the year you can buy edible organs from animals you’ve never even heard of prepared for you out the back of a truck, but try find roadside flowers on Valentines day weekend?

That’s crazy talk.

With time running out I launched plan B. We’d agreed that due to my complete lack of knowledge of what to do in Taiwan romance wise (and the personal acknowledgement of still very much learning the Taiwanese girl psyche, romantic or otherwise), she’d organise the bulk of the day. I later found out she’d already gone ahead and organised what we were doing before I suggested it, so at least we seemed to be on the same wavelength about what the limitations of my planning skills were.

Still, manners wise I had to contribute something and Plan B was a post dinner bubble bath. I’d originally wanted to do it with candles but couldn’t find any nice smelly scented ones. That and I’m not exactly sure how our fire alarm system works… but I’m pretty sure that setting it off wouldn’t be romantic.

You can burn half a forest of lucky money outside your door, that’s cool – but burning anything inside your house in Taiwan is generally frowned upon.

Her side of the day went quite well. We had a late start to the day due to sleeping in, dinner was awesome, we shared some great views of Taipei from way up in the mountains somewhere and then finished up with a stroll through one of the nightmarkets (I forget which one).

After we got home I surprised her with my idea and it seemed to go down really well. She’d never had a bubble bath before and got all excited.

Whilst she munched on some of the fruit we’d bought from the nightmarket I began to prepare the bath. Fifteen minutes later or so it was done.

At this point I called out it was ready and did what any normal person would do, I started to undress.

About halfway into getting my clothes off she came bursting into the bathroom with a horrified look on her face.

‘WAIT WAIT WAIT, you haven’t taken a shower yet!’ she blurted out in an accusing tone.

‘uh… what?’

‘a shower, a shower! You can’t get in the bath you’re all dirty!’

‘what do you mean dirty, we didn’t do anything today. We just had dinner and went up to the mountains!’

‘doesn’t matter, you went outside. Have to have a shower! You can’t have a bath dirty!’

‘The bath is supposed to replace a shower! That’s the whole point!’

‘No no no, the bath is clean. You have to have a shower first!’

At this point she started to undress in front of me and for a moment I stood there next to the bath, silently weighing up my options.

…with the smallest of sighs I reached for the portable shower head and began to wash myself down. Despite the absurdity of her logic, standing there naked infront of me was a pretty convincing argument.

The park itself is quite large with a lot of attractions to see, mostly in the form of animal and plant exhibits. Fortunately (or unfortunately) the park is aimed at kids, so Green World doesn’t really pass as a zoo but there are enough animals on site to keep you interested for a few hours.

On a recent trip to Green World, here’s what I found.

Walking through the front gate I was pleasantly surprised to run into our Australian friend the emu.

Proudly displayed at the front of the park it was a bit of a national pride kick for me, they even had the Australian coat of arms out.

Before we got to far into the park, the next major item on our itenary was the parrots.

I’m not too familiar with the different parrot breeds out there but from what I gathered most were from Africa or South America (?). In any case there was a whole bunch of parrots in different colors and the show they put on was quite amusing to watch.

I’ve never seen a parrot ride a bicycle, skateboard or use rollerskates before so I got my moneys worth.


I was a bit worried about the animal welfare side of things but to their credit the parrots at Green World looked healthy and happy. They appeared to well trained and there didn’t look to be any forcing of them going on.

Next up was a giant enclosure for tropical type creatures. As you walked in you went past some giant python type snakes.

I’m not really a fan of the creepy crawlies (yes snakes are creepy crawlies to me), so even walking past was a bit of an effort.

Inside the enclosure you had all sorts of animals running about, predominantly the monkeys who were given free roam along the open treetops of the enclosure.

My favourites in this enclosure were probably these turtles, who looked like something straight out of the World of Warcraft;

and the flamingos;

I’d never actually seen flamingos up close in real life so it was quite interesting to observe them. They look every bit as cartoon like as they are portrayed!

Some of the exhibits at Green World were a little strange, take for example this place;

I know succulent and cactus go together but as it’s written all I could think about was the fact I’d never seen a tasty looking park.

Most of the other plant and animal exhibits weren’t all that interesting to me but I can see the appeal to kids. In Taiwan it’s not like there’s copious amounts of wildlife to see so the novelty of seeing animals up close would be quite appealing.

Some other random things of interest were these giant fish;

No idea on what species they were but they were freaking huge. Unfortunately the tank they were in seemed a bit small though… hopefully the filtration was up to scratch.

The last thing I saw as we left Green World was a little bit of geographical trivia. On display just before you exit the park is a neat little signpost showing the supposed distance between Green World and some of the world’s major cities.

Of particular note was the inclusion of Sydney.

No idea how accurate it was but 7,441 km sounds about right and is enough to kick in the homesickness for a while.

Green World is a park definitely aimed at kids but it is interesting enough for adults to breeze through, just don’t expect to spend an entire day there.

It’s probably not worth travelling down from Taipei to see but definitely worth a pop in if you’re travelling through the area.

Most of the time they’re ignored and simply brushed aside as irritating however these people aren’t always a bad thing. Recently Jenny Sturrock made a plea to Julia Gillard to finance treatment for the rare blood disease, Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria.

Unfortunately the leading treatment drug, Soliris, is currently the single most expensive drug in the world.

Affecting just 1-2 people per million, Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria isn’t a disease that’s going to hit the mainstream any time soon. Thus when a company such as Alexion Pharmaceuticals come up with a treatment drug like Soliris, they corner the market and can basically charge whatever they want.

With demand for Soliris remaining extremely low, Alexion have priced Soliris at a staggering $40,000 AUD a month ($480,000 a year). In justifying this amount, Alexion claim that it cost them ‘$800 million investment to develop the drug as well as a 15-year investment of time‘.

What would be interesting to know is whether or not this was one of those accidental drugs in which pursuing, Alexion discovered and developed 390 other drugs and made billions on, or if it was pure research on Soliris and Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria alone.

I somehow doubt a pharmaceutical company spent so much and so long on a single drug that affects a small number of people and has such limited use. And even if they did, are they right in charging that much? As the only potential treatment on the market they’ve pretty much got it cornered and even 800 million wouldn’t take that long to make back if they charged something more reasonable for it.

As it stands I’m assuming Soliris isn’t covered by Medicare and most likely the insurance company’s won’t touch it. If Alexion priced it lower (much, much lower), I’d imagine this would be somewhat likely to change.

In Australia alone there’s 96 people suffering from Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria. At $480 a pop that’s around $46 million dollars a year so despite Mrs. Sturrock’s plea, I don’t really see the government committing itself.

Then again it is election time, so maybe Sturrock’s calculated appeal to the government will literally pay off.

One problem I do have with Sturrock’s particular case though is that she seems to want the treatment more to raise children than to actually live. I’m not saying she wants to die or anything but primarily she seems determined to have a family once on Soliris.

Two problems arise from this. Firstly she’s chronically sick and probably not the best candidate to be raising children, and secondly a $480,000 a year random person then becomes a $480,000 a year mum.

I’m assuming having Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria on your resume doesn’t look too good either so throw in all the associated parenting welfare too.

Beyond treating a woman what Sturrock is really asking the government to do is fund her child(ren). In being against stupid schemes like the baby bonus and obscene amount of tax cuts families already get, spending $480,000 plus welfare every year just so someone can play mum is an extremely hard pill to swallow (no pun intended).

Especially when there’s adoption and plenty of other options out there.

Finally, as far as poltics goes, Gillard’s reply to Sturrock’s request was kind of amusing. In full campaign mode Gillard replied to Sturrocks plight by stating she was “very, very sympathetic to her (Sturrock’s) personal circumstances’.

This is a woman who respectfully has a career over a family and announced . Both of which mind you I think are great, it’s just that the irony of someone asking Gillard for boatloads of money so that she can have children probably wasn’t the smartest move.

As a matter of saving a life it’s not an easy decision to make either way. It’s not like Sturrock developed Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria through any fault of her own but it does boil down to, I think, a case of the greater good. $480,000 a year is a lot to pay for one person’s treatment, let alone $48 million a year.

Add to that the fact that if we did start paying for treatment we’d probably have everybody who has Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria in the world trying to gain residency here. I mean how far would you go to get treatment for a life threatening disease.

On the other hand it’s an incredibly selfish amount to ask for just to raise a family.

Hmm, decisions decisions…

Upon arriving here however I quickly came to the realisation that unless you wanted to deck yourself out in cheap and crappy Giant branded cycling apparel, you didn’t have many options.

Thus the search for a decent cycling jersey online commenced and in the end I decided it would be a great opportunity to try out some of Ground Effect’s cycling gear.

I’d heard good things about Ground Effect gear and the simplicity of their ‘Median Strip’ Merino wool cycling jersey caught my eye.

Admittedly I was bit reluctant to purchase a wool based cycling jersey because I’m one of those people who can’t wear a sweater on bare skin… it just irritates me and feels scratchy. In doing some research though I’d read about the benefits of woolen cycling jerseys and it seemed that so long as you weren’t buying bargain basement stuff the feel off the wool was quite nice.

Still not 100% convinced, I decided to put an order in for a Median Strip anyway to test one out and after about a week my jersey arrived. After four or five months of use, here’s my thoughts.

Comfort

I’m pleased to report that comfort wise the Merino wool based Median Strip is awesome. Wearing it causes no dramas to my skin and it’s easy to forget the jersey is actually made of wool.

This is mostly due to the fact that from what I gather, Merino wool for use in athletic garments is much finer then say your standard sweater wool. The finer wool is definitely worth the cost though and shouldn’t irritate you in the slightest.

Sweat wicking properties

Wool is a natural moisture absorber and the Median Strip does a great job of keeping me cool. Of course it does have a saturation point but riding around in Taiwan’s 35+ degree summer days, you’re going to get that with any cycling jersey.

Despite the great wicking ability of the woolen jersey though, I have found that unlike my fully synthetic jersey the saturation point is reached much faster when wearing a woolen jersey. This brings me to my next point;

Saturation point

To be a little clearer I’ll establish that saturation point is the point at which the jersey starts to feel wet. It basically means the rate of evaporation on the outer surface of the jersey is slower then the rate of sweat absorption off your skin. This causes the jersey to feel wet against your skin.

Usually it’s only temporary as, unless you’re constantly hill climbing, the jersey will naturally dry itself off as you coast along on flats or a downhill.

Unfortunately I’ve noticed the Median Strip’s self drying properties are well below that of a synthetic jersey.

As a cyclist I don’t sweat much anyway yet it’s hard not to notice the patches of moisture that accumulate on the Median Strip as you cycle around. I’ve since had my synthetic Uno ‘Jansie’ jersey shipped over and can confirm it’s evaporation rate is quite capable of keeping up with Taiwan’s heat.

One annoying property of the woolen jersey is that sometimes it’s moisture absorption properties seem a little too great. For example earlier in the year just before summer started, every day you’d have the moisture in the air rise up to the clouds before being dumped back down again once the sun went down.

This wasn’t rain or anything but it was noticeable as thick humidity in the air. If my Median Strip was hanging outside for a bit of air, I noticed that it’d actually start to absorb moisture from the air and accumulate sweat patches on the outer surface as if I’d just come back from a ride.

Slightly annoying if I woke up for a morning ride and the jersey hadn’t dried itself from absorbing moisture in the air all night. This isn’t a problem with my synthetic jersey so I presume is a pitfall of using a woolen jersey in a humid environment.

Mind you the inside of the jersey stays dry, which is important… but it’s kind of annoying riding around with giant visible wet patches on the outside of your jersey. Especially if you’re not even working up a sweat.

Durability

Durability wise the Median Strip woolen jersey feels tough and durable. I imagine I’m going to get many years of use out of it, although due to the drying problems I have relegated it to casual rides only. For mountain climbs it just doesn’t dry fast enough.

Wash wise I wash it with my normal colors but do place it in a mesh laundry bag. After 4-5 months it looks as good as new and I don’t see it wearing out any time soon. Thanks in part I imagine to the great build quality from Ground Effect themselves.

Conclusion

If you live in a cooler, less tropical climate then Taiwan then a woolen jersey might be a perfect fit for you. A decent woolen jersey is no more or less comfortable then a synthetic jersey however they do tend to be a little less ‘superhero’ looking which in my mind is a big plus.

If you’re a heavy sweater or live in a warmer climate though I’d probably give woolen cycling jerseys a miss and just stick with your premium synthetics. They dry better and I’ve found leave you cooler.

All in all I don’t regret my woolen jersey purchase as the Median Strip design is a lot more subtle and suitable for casual rides,  but I probably won’t be buying another one anytime soon. At least not for the properties of a woolen cycling jersey alone.

Despite copping a bit of flak over the proposed mining resources tax, the hanging over of Australia’s top job to Julia Gillard felt rushed and a little too well staged.

Then there was Rudd’s reaction, well if you could call it a reaction. Apart from trying to appear genuine in his farewell speech there pretty much wasn’t any reaction on his part. Well short of what you’d expect from someone who’s just been voted out of the Prime Minister’s office by his own party.

I’m not suggesting Rudd had to go all Mark Latham on Labor but some sort of reaction would have been well, normal. Meanwhile speculation was rife over what exactly went down after it was confirmed that Rudd and Gillard had a private chat before the reigns of the nation were signed over to Gillard.

Both parties have sworn themselves to total secrecy. Bugger the Australian public who voted them in, you lot aren’t worthy enough to be told how Australia’s first female Prime Minister came to be.

Following his ousting Rudd for the most part disappeared and has only just recently resurfaced with the 2010 federal election only weeks away. Amazingly he’s all smiles and appears to have completely stifled the normal reaction anyone else should have had when put in his position.

Well, anyone else who wasn’t expecting it… or worse still had a hand in it.

Kevin Rudd’s UN ambitions have never been a secret. As Prime Minister Rudd didn’t acquire the nickname Kevin 747 for  nothing. Every other week it felt like Rudd was off on yet another trip to the world stage to further strengthen Australia’s his own political ties with world leaders.

The $11.5 million dollar UN security council bid and general UN friendly policies didn’t hurt either. Despite most of them coming at the expense of Australia.

Policy wise practically everything Rudd will be remembered for appears to have been done to shed himself in a good light with the UN.

One of the first things Rudd did when appointed PM was to apologise to Aboriginals. That alone must have been worth about a gabillion bleeding heart points and was definitely something the UN took notice of. Then came the Kyoto treaty signing, the dismantling of Howard’s Pacific Solution, buttering up Australia with stimulus handouts, financially ignoring anyone who wasn’t a ‘working family’ and trying to appear worldly by publicly weighing in on trivial matters.

Honestly I lost count of the amount of times I read in the news ‘Kevin Rudd weighs in on why Obama’s pet dog is obese’ etc. The line between Prime Minister and social commentator wasn’t just blurred, it simply didn’t exist under Rudd.

Following his ousting from Labor I half expected an announcement that he had been guaranteed a job at the UN or would be managing a less demanding role in the Labor cabinet, so that he could focus on what was important; getting himself into the UN.

Despite being tipped to pickup the Foreign Affairs portfolio this didn’t happen. Perhaps though that was a blessing in disguise.

Today it was announced that Rudd has finally got himself a foothold into the UN after being appointed to a ‘United Nations panel on global sustainability‘. A position much more fitting for future UN ambitions than the lowly job of running Australia.

Despite running in the 2010 federal election what I believe we are seeing here from Rudd  is the start of what is going to be an ongoing campaign to eventually get himself ranked in the UN. I can only imagine the satisfaction someone like Rudd would get in waving his finger at Australia over our supposed rotten treatment of Aboriginals, illegal boat people asylum seekers and working families.

This greater ambition also explains the complete submissiveness Rudd has shown to Labor despite being kicked out of the top job. Some might call it party loyalty, I call it a long term diplomatic strategy.

It’s much easier to get into the UN when you’re not burdened with running a second tier country (our official rank in the G20 summit). Three years of ambition sacrifice was enough, roll out the red carpet folks… it’s Kevin’s time to shine.

Meanwhile as a member of the Australian public, I can’t help but feel slightly used. I’m not exactly sure what qualifies as a political one night stand but Kevin Rudd’s reign as Prime Minister surely comes close.

Like everywhere else though, there’s also those that appear to not give a crap about the welfare of those dependent on them.

In Taiwan the major difference to me seems to be the complete blatantness of it all.

Yesterday I shared with you an alternative approach to taking your dog with you whilst you cycle. Sure it’s not exactly the securest or safest way to cycle with your dog but it was nothing compared to the total discard of animal welfare this had;

What you’re looking at there are some idiots riding a tandem bicycle on a hugely busy bicycle path with their dog running tethered to a leash!

I followed this couple for a short time and observed so many near disasters it wasn’t funny.

Like I said most people I’ve encountered in Taiwan are positvely passionate about their pets, this couple on the otherhand couldn’t care less. How could you not be aware of the huge danger you’re not only putting your pet in but other riders as well!

If you’re going to carry your dog with you on a bicycle please do it properly with a dog trailer, chair or basket if your dog is small enough. Tethering your dog on a leash like that in the middle of a busy bicycle path is madness and should not be attempted by anyone.