I have a confession to make. It’s something that’s been bugging me for just over a month now. I’ve been wanting to bring it up but felt that it was too soon and the nation probably had other things more pressing on it’s mind. I’ve decided enough is enough though and it’s time to share my gripe with the world;

I have a problem with the unofficial naming of Victoria’s February bushfires, Black Saturday.

The first news report I can find coining the term is from The Age, dated February 9th;

BLACK Saturday, as it will likely be called, has become Victoria’s worst bushfire.


It would appear that the phrase was bandied about prior to the report but the Age article seems to have been what cemented the name into the Australian cultural sphere.

It’s very easy to go the “offensively racist” route when looking at the name Black Saturday, infact it’s rather hard to miss. Given that we’ve renamed Mt. Niggerhead in Victoria’s northeast and had the UN on our backs about “Nigger Stand” on Toowoomba Sports Ground you’d think that as Australians we’d have learnt our lesson.

But oh no, here we are once again sticking it to the “niggers” with Black Saturday. I’m kind of surprised an enterprising Aboriginal hasn’t come out and sued the country claiming ownership of the name along with licensing rights.

I mean hey, we kind of deserve it. In fact the only way Black Saturday could be more offensive is if we’d chosen the name “Nigger Black Satur-ha-ha-we-don’t-like-black-people-day”. I mean Jesus Christ we even got sued when we came up with a new name for Mt Niggerhead.

Yes, somebody actually thought the alternative name we came up with for Mount Niggerhead was more offensive then the original.

That’s how crap we are at naming things.

My beef with Black Saturday however isn’t racial, it’s the fact that it’s just.. well… ok I’ll just come out and say it, with all due respect to the fire victims and their families, Black Saturday is a crap name for a disaster.

It doesn’t conjure up any great image of a ravaged land or whole towns being engulfed in flames or anything really. I certainly don’t feel threatened by it and no matter how many different ways I try and say it out loud (oh and believe me I’ve spent way too long infront of a mirror trying to make it sound menacing) it just comes out sounding tame and neutral.

Think about other big disasters, for example the Hindenburg Disaster. When you hear Hindenburg disaster you’d be forgiven for thinking perhaps a sausage might have blown up and taken out a small town or something. Then you find out it was a big freaking air ship that exploded into a ball of flame as it nosedived into the ground which is even better! It’s like a disaster name that keeps on giving.

Even Ash Wednesday, which we stole from the church of all places has meaning and soul. Ash Wednesday conjures up a haunting image of walking around outside and seeing nothing but billions of particles of ash in the air. Just seeing them, knowing what they are and where they are from leaves you feeling helpless.

But yeah, no we went with Black Saturday. Great.

It’s such a socially awkward name to have to say. It doesn’t really mean anything when you drop it in conversations.

“Hey so what was it like living through the bushfires”

“ah well you know, black saturday was pretty intense.”

I don’t know exactly what it is but it just makes me cringe, not a “oh wow that’s totally offensive quick call the polticially correct police” cringe but more of the type of cringe you’d get when overhearing someone drop the word “turkeyslap” in general conversation shortly after it was all the rage on Big Brother.

Black Saturday doesn’t even roll off the tongue nicely and is phonetically atrocious to listen to. Bla-ck Sa-t-ur-da-ay… it might as well be Black satatatatadadadaday. Hell half the time it sounds like Black Satay.

Why wasn’t there more thought put into the name?

We could have used Vegemite Saturday. Vegemite is black isn’t it? Just as effective as Black Saturday and it gives a uniquely Australian flavour to the disaster. Bonus!

What about Lamington Saturday? Best of both worlds, you have your black icing and then the theme appropriate flecks of ash masquerading as dessicated cocounut and you’re left feeling hungry everytime you think about it to boot!

Thankfully we’re not the only idiots who have used the name Black Saturday, Australia shares Black Saturday with other great events such as:

• A particularly dark and stormy day in Scotland.
• The day Hong Kong exchange rates fell to an all time low
• The beginning of the Cuban Missile Crisis

And my personal favourite, the day Vince McMahon took over WTBS wrestling programming. Ohhh Vince McMahon, you and your soap opera wrestling. I just want to squeeze his cheeks.

Ahem, his facial cheeks that is.

Having said all that though it looks like we’re stuck with the term and when you’re stuck with something I guess all you can do is try to look at the bright side of things, not that there’s many bright sides of black… but hey, at least we didn’t call it Nigger Saturday; we’d never have lived it down.

1. Black glasses with no lens: Stupid Taiwanese fashion
2. Taiwanese Black Chicken – Bye Bye Appetite
3. Koko Black Chocolate Cafe Melbourne – Poor Mans Lindt?