I read as I’m sure many of you did about Michael Jackson’s death shortly after waking up this morning. At the time it felt surreal and amidst claims of hoaxes and publicity I really didn’t know what to think. The last thing I wanted to do was head into work.

Like the entirety of generation X I’d grown up on his music. Michael Jackson was the music charts for many of us. Young and old even if people didn’t like his music they still knew who he was.

I’ve spent the last hour or so watching the various live performances on youtube and reminiscing about the soundtrack to the last twenty five years of my life. It’s really amazing to see the gigantic crowds that always turned up to see him and the enthusiasm both in his performances and the audience.

Not to mention the fact that Michael Jackson was the first and possibly only male to make dancing not look ragingly homosexual (yes, even the crotch grab).

With the huge success of Thriller and Bad, as a kid in primary school you were either a Michael Jackson fan or you were a nobody. Everybody wanted one of those Thriller jackets and the glove was infamous.

This was the golden era, the media had only just started to hone in on his plastic surgery but for most of the world it was all about the music. I remember playing Thriller cassettes in the front yard on one of those 80′s ghettoblasters hooked up the garden power and pulling my MJ moves. It was just awesome music.

The nineties rolled along and the focus on his private life was stronger but the music with the release of Dangerous was still overwhelming. Boxing day 1992 I remember being on my third or fourth viewing of my new Dangerous VHS christmas present whilst my parents fought. That day they separated and we broke up as a family. They later divorced.

When I hear a song off Dangerous it always drags me back to that time, or that day in particular. I’m reminded of the last time we were a complete family but also of the messy day that it was. It’s been a strong powerful connection to my childhood throughout the years.

One highlight of mention was Michael Jackson’s faux appearance on the Simpsons. I can’t remember exactly when it factored in timeline wise but that episode will always stand out as a favourite.

I remember the publicity for that episode as being insane. Channel 10 really pulled out all the stops and plugged it for all it was worth before airing it. Of course back then Simpsons was a weekly entertaining affair that the entire family sat down to watch, not the four episodes a night child minding service that it is today.

The child abuse stuff hit shortly after and never seemed to leave Jackson’s reputation, it was always there lingering in the shadows. I’ve always struggled a bit with it in my mind. I believe he did have kids sleep over but don’t think anything ‘abusive’ happened.

I think it was just his innocence in life, although part of me has always reminded me that was based on emotion not necessarily fact. I’ve always wanted one of those kids to come out and just admit their parents made a money grab through them to clear his name for good.

Maybe one day.

History came out at the peak of the media frenzy surrounding him over the past 5 or so years of his life. One of the greatest regrets of my life was not going to the Melbourne History concert. I remember exactly where I was on the night of the first concert.

I was in my dads car driving out to his house listening to the radio. The concert was so huge every radio station was covering it and had some sort of promotion running. Being a kid organising going to concerts just wasn’t something we did in our family but I’ve always wished I was that little bit older when he toured.

I didn’t get my copy of the History till we were overseas later that year. It was a dhingy Indian music store and they had a whole stand dedicated to the album. It was probably pirated but it still had the image booklet which I’ve still got here somewhere.

I asked my aunt for it and the next thing I remember is the excited anticipation of hearing it for the first time on their bedroom stereo. Even in the middle of an overseas trip hearing new music from Michael Jackson was a highlight memory.

Later on in highschool we had compulsory religion classes and for one class we had to bring in a song that we thought was ‘spiritual’.

I brought in ‘Keep the Faith’ and was ridiculed by some of my classmates. It seemed the world had moved on from the frenzy I remembered in primary school. It was all about Tupac and the Backstreet Boys.

From then on I kind of kept my like of his music to myself. I was never one of those rabid crazy screaming fans with posters everywhere but my appreciation for his music never changed. I think for a lot of fans this was the case. Ever dedicated but feeling continually more isolated as each new weird story broke in the media.

I never understood his need to change his appearance and I secretly wished he didn’t have kids as it somewhat shattered the peter pan image. I guess he transcended from idol to human for me after marriage and kids. That’s something you just don’t get from idolising cartoon characters as many kids these days do.

I kind of ignore everything that happened after History. History was released in 1995 and for the past 15 years or so I’ve kind of been hoping Michael would get his groove back and release at least one more great album. The UK tours were looking promising despite the date push back.

As I sat there this morning reading over the details my subconscious was having a hard time letting this hope go. It’s not easy when a childhood hero dies. It reminds you that we’re all mortal and no matter how much you might immortalise someone in your mind through performance and admiration some day their time will come.

A big part of my childhood memories died today and I feel all the poorer for it. I never met Michael Jackson but I felt I grew up with him just as closely as any of my other childhood friends.

When the dust settles it’s not the scandal, claims of child abuse, plastic surgery and countless crazy stories that appeared in the media throughout his life that I’ll remember. It’s the wonderful gift of music he gave us, the uniqueness he possessed and the dedication he had to his craft. That’s how I’ll remember my favourite childhood hero.

When people ask ‘why all the fuss over one man?’ Well I guess I’m not the only one with life stories intertwined with fond memories of his music over such a large span of their lives.

Goodbye Michael, you’ll be sorely missed.


Tweet

1. Michael Jackson's new single 'This is it' is rubbish
2. Michael Jackson Memorial @ Federation Square Melbourne
3. Gaming Minister Michael O’Brien is a total wanker
4. A curious email from Michael Trkulja re. suing Google