I got home from work today and did my usual reading my feeder entries, checking my email and stats/comments on OzSoapbox. Turns out the folks at Rolling Razor (specifically somebody calling themselves Alicia or Allison I can’t remember now) decided to comment spam my entry on double edged shaving.

If they’d bothered to read the post they’d have seen the entire reason I recently moved to a double edged system was precisely because I was sick of the crap cartridge razor companies were pushing.

On top of following the same model that I’ve come to despise (the cheap handle + ridiculously priced cartridges), Rolling Razor also make a number of other mistakes which I believe will lead to the worst shave ever.




1. Don’t use prepubescent teens to advertise your razor.

If you browse to the Rolling Razor website the first thing you are greeted with is a shiny endorsement by the Jonas Brothers. Admittedly I don’t know what they do beyond ‘they are a band’ but I do know that they look like a bunch of 13 year olds.

When I think shaving I don’t think highschool teenager pimple balls who uses way to much Lynx. Jesus Christ if you’re going to get celebrity endorsements get someone who actually looks like they NEED to shave.

Now if a razor company can get someone like Jack Black to go clean shaven and advertise their products well hey, you might just get my attention.




2. Same shit, different shape.

One of the biggest gripes I have with razors available today is cartridge cost. It’s just freaking ridiculous.

Instead of being innovative (well it’s hard to compete with 20-30cent double edge blades that last a week of shaving) Rolling Razor just continue the model but add a gimicky circle holder thing.

The blades cost USD $7.95 ($10AUD with the current conversion rate of 79.5c) for a four pack, which unless you have girly hair usually winds up being a week to two weeks of shaving daily.

To put this into perspective for $10 I can buy 50 weeks worth of shaving blades for my Merkur HD.




3. Cringeworthy sales pitches

The following spiel is used to market one of the Rolling Razor models, the ‘Silver Streak’:

It is said, that Zeus himself stood atop Mt. Olympus and cast his lightning bolt towards Earth. Upon impact there was a massive explosion which revealed a glowing ring of light… that ring of light was Silver Streak! From that day forth shaving became a magical experience with unparalleled accuracy and lightening quick speed.


Oh right so the most powerful god in greek mythology sent down his lightening bolt just to reveal to us a plastic handle razor. Wouldn’t plastic melt in a massive explosion?

And where’s the religious outrage? Isn’t this like going ‘hey there, before Jesus died he slit his wrists and after a massive explosion wine party WE BOTTLED IT FOR YOU TO DRINK!!! YEAH!

Oh and for the ladies why don’t you try our sugar infused MARYLICIOUS! One day she forgot to pack her pads and had a massive explosion in her underpants, GOOD THING WE WERE THERE TO BOTTLE IT!

Then there’s the pitch for the ‘Desert Camoflauge’:

At the first sign of conflict, Ares, the God of War took both his legendary spear and shield and cast them towards Earth. Upon impact, they merged, and with attributes of protection from the shield, and precision from the spear, the Jungle and Desert Camouflage were created. Now the stealth warrior has the ability to covertly eliminate any unwanted stubble with precise and calculated moves.


So let me get this straight. Conflict arrives at heaven’s doorstep and THE GOD OF WAR HIMSELF throws his weapon and shield away down to Earth. What the hell happened next?

I’ll tell you what happens next, god of war receives the biggest beating of his life because the god of war IS A FREAKING MORON!

So I’m fighting in Iraq and some Al Qaeda guy jumps out of the bushes and then what? I whip out my Jungle Camouflage razor and throw it into the sand hoping something happens?

‘Hmm al qaeda at 3′o’clock.’

‘I’ll handle this…’

‘No, it’s ok Joe. I’ve got my trusty Roller Razor, I’ll handle this one.’

‘Wait John I’m pretty sure that’s not going to wo-RATATATATATATATATATATAT!’

‘…goddamnit ANOTHER MAN DOWN! I wish they’d stop sending us these stupid things!’




4. Not readily available in stores.

The official reason for this is:

Due to the worldwide demand and the overwhelming online success of our automated “free shipping program”, our quantities are limited and as a result, Rolling Razor is not yet able to meet the demand of traditional retail stores.


This is just marketing speak for ‘we don’t sell enough razors to afford worldwide distribution yet. But please, continue to buy our cartridges at premium prices from our basement operation.




5. The blades themselves

I have three problems with the blade system itself. The first problem is that you’re only using one blade at a time. Whilst this works great in a double edged blade system traditionally this is terrible in a cartridge system. Ever tried to use a single blade disposable razor?

Even with the circular motion of the blades lets face it, only one is going to be against your skin at any given time and it’s probably going to most times be the middle one right which will lead to premature wear in that single blade before the other ones are gone.

Unless your face is like a roller coaster you might as well be shaving with a single blade disposable system.

Secondly they cite the reason for the circle grip is because “the short distance between the handle and the blades provides you with greater control and accuracy.”

Really? Have you ever tried to use one of those idiot circle pens? Or how about a thumb stylus? There’s a reason we hold pens and chopsticks like we do. Imagine trying to use chopsticks with just your index finger!

I don’t know about you but my wrist + hand is far more steady then my index finger on it’s own.

Thirdly the stupid dual blade system. They claim that

When you use both heads, you will be using each cartridge half the time so they’ll each last twice as long! Beyond that, protective coating on our cartridges and blades will dramatically prolong the life of your blades.


Now to use the other razor you have to take the handle off your finger and flip it around. Alternatively you could just rinse the thing off which would most likely be quicker.

What I want to know though is how is using 2 heads over the one shave going to prolong the life of the individual blades? Experience tells me that once you fit a disposable cartridge razor with a blade that even if you don’t use it for a month the blades still get dull.

Let’s face it, the dual blade system is just a gimmick to get you to go through twice the amount of blades twice as quickly.


In addition to all the above reasons then there’s the spam. Why in the holy hell would I be interested in a cartridge razor when I’ve just gone out and bought a double edged system that I’ve clearly liked so much I’ve bothered to write about it! TWICE!

Viral marketing in blog comment spam is such a stupid way to promote your product, you only wind up pissing off your potential customers as well as inflicting negative ‘buzz’ like this upon yourselves. I’ve written about this before but it seems some companies still think it’s going to work.

Take note marketing world, writers don’t like you leaving stupid spammy comments for them to moderate.


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5. Personna Platinum double edged blades review