Christmas Island Resort: Come to Australia illegally and live it up at our expense.

With the arrival of the Rudd government came the scrapping of the highly successful mandatory detention policy in dealing with illegal asylum shoppers. The Howard era policy saw a dramatic reduction in opportunists who now fly first class to Indonesia before donning peasant clothes and setting sail for Australian shores.

A few months following Rudd’s new policies and Australia was hit with more asylum shoppers then we’d seen over the past seven years of Howard policy.

Currently Christmas island is the de facto processing facility and is at approximately 3/4 capacity (max 1200) with Indonesian authorities warning another 10,000 welfare opportunists are on their way.

Now I’m not a mathematician but with hundreds of people now arriving weekly, it’s only a short matter of time before we see the laughably inadequate 1200 capacity facilities beyond full.

Despite more asylum shoppers arriving on our shores within months of Rudd loosening the slack on our mandatory detention policy then in the previous seven years combined, Rudd insists we don’t have a problem and the facilities are more then capable of meeting demand.

If you are able to buy shares in the human trafficking to Australia industry I suggest you do so. This explosive growth industry doesn’t look to be slowing down any time soon. At 194 people we recently saw our largest boat load of opportunists this year. I imagine it won’t be long before we start seeing chartered ocean liners full of illegals leaving Indonesia.

Residents of Christmas island have already complained about food shortages and price hikes on goods due to the effective doubling of the island’s population due to the detention facilities.

So what is the Rudd government’s solution?

Leasing out a five star hotel complete with resort style kitchen to house and feed our terribly hard done by guests.

With a ridiculously generous open door policy, instant access to our welfare systems and the ability to bring over any and all relatives once granted insta-visas, do we really need to encourage any more asylum shoppers to make the flight to Indonesia?

Typically when Labor are in power human traffickers around the world celebrate and start smuggling people en masse to our shores. The usual routine for these queue jumpers is:

1. Hop on a plane to Indonesia.

2. Destroy all your documents.

3. Jump on a rickety old boat.

4. Make up some bullshit story about how you were persecuted by Saddam Jong Ahmadinejad II.

5. Get an insta-visa and centrelink payments and then bring over your entire village claiming they are your family.

In a multimillion dollar taxpayer funded deal, the Rudd government is currently in negotiations to house the swell of illegals in fully furnished, air conditioned suites complete with sea views complete with gourmet kitchen meals.

Currently there are a estimated 100,000 homeless in Australia and the country has a budget deficit of almost $60 billion this year. But you know, so long as our illegal queue jumpers are living it up in ocean view ensuites I guess everything’s going to be alright.

Maybe if we’re lucky some of our unemployed could get a job waiting on them.

1. 99.6% of boat people are asylum seeker scammers
2. Why no outcry over Kevin Rudd's 'Indonesian Solution'?
3. Can somebody explain Rudd’s immigration policy?
4. Asylum seekers cut costs: "Please come and get us"
5. Oh Dear: Afghan and Sri Lankan asylum claims suspended