About a week ago somebody started putting up Daffodil Day posters up at work. The posters put up encouraged us to wear something yellow in support of the Cancer Council.

Daffodil Day is the annual fundraising event held by the Cancer Council of Australia who fund research into cancer and support for victims of the disease. Cancer unfortunately is just one of things where practically everybody knows someone either directly or indirectly who’s been affected by it.

Daffodil Day is held on the fourth Friday of August and this year fell yesterday, Friday August 29th.

Happy to support the cause I made a mental note to bring out the yellow on Friday and didn’t really think about it again until Thursday night.

At about 8pm I stood at the foot of my closet scouring the abyss of blacks, greys and blues for something yellow. Quickly realising this wasn’t going to be easy I abandoned the scouring and launched into a full scale scrummage.

Three hours later I realised the only yellow item of clothing I own was a yellow and dark blue tie that I’d once used as a stage prop. I should have seen this coming.

I unashamedly hate the colour yellow.

If I was the captain of a schoolyard soccer team picking teammates from all the possible colours available I’d leave yellow to last. What’s more I’d enjoy it.

I know Daffodil Day is supposed to be about curing cancer and everything but seriously yellow? Have you seen the clothing options guys have?

Unless you’re happy to walk around looking like the Mask all day trying to find something yellow to wear for a guy to wear to work is an exercise in self inflicting pain.


Yellow Jumper: “Why hello there, I’m either outrageously homosexual or Captain Snooty Mcsnooty face. I wear a monocle and think I’m better then you. Now go get my tea.”


Yellow Shirt: “HI I USED TO WORK AT MCDONALDS!”


Yellow Tie: The 70′s called, and they’re pissed.


Yellow Pants: “Hi, I raided my mum and dads costume shop just to be here today. I also may or may not have been a clown in a past life.”


Yellow Shoes: …no really?


Yellow Underwear: “Hey ladies, I have bladder control issues.”


And on and on it goes. My workplace is predominantly female and well hey you guys have it easy when it comes to yellow. Just walk into any women’s store and there’s thousands of yellow tops or accessories you can choose from.

Some girls even look hot in yellow. Let me tell you I’ve never seen a guy in yellow and thought ‘you know what that looks awesome. Hey mate I’m not gay but where did you get that tshirt I WANT ONE!’

Infact the only time I can even remember a guy wearing yellow are the tools that pranced around in the ever so shortly lived fashionable period of the popped collar polo shirt. Apologies to my suburban friends as I’m sure this is only just starting to catch on despite being phased out years ago.

Clothing alienation aside, then there’s the Daffodil Day merchandise.


Daffodil Pins: Yeah so I’m sitting there in my office wearing this little daffodil pin, surrounded by over enthusiastic girls dressed in yellow. Effort wise that makes me the guy that wants cancer stricken kids to die.


Cancer Council branded pen: Oh great so I’m going to think about cancer everytime I write something. Depressing much?


Mini Soccer Ball: Yeah so let’s celebrate daffodil day doing things kids dying of cancer can’t do. That’ll make them feel better!


Dr. Dougal Bear: In the year 2009 a guy can only buy a stuffed animal when he has a hot girl on his arm. Otherwise he’s either just some schmuck trying to get around bestiality laws or driving the local pedophile bus. Not a good look either way.


Branded USB: Uh, USB what? Vibrator, eye massager, George Foreman freaking iGrill? I appreciate IT probably isn’t the Cancer Council’s strong point and that they’re probably talking about a USB thumb drive but cmon. Anyone ever asks me to stick my usb into their port shouldn’t be reaching for the sexual harassment handbook when I take it the wrong way.


Be specific people.

I’m happy to support Cancer charities as much as the next guy but geez guys have a heart! Charity supporting should be easy, I don’t want to have to walk around all day looking like a moron or have to buy some cheap gimmicky product to show my support.

How about we abolish the yellow and go with a guy friendly color hey?

I’m sure there’s resilient black and grey flowers somewhere out there that can showcase the same qualities we see in cancer patients just as equally as the daffodil does. Hows about it?

I mean look on the bright side, I’ll be happily supporting you guys all year round.