So… where can I get a happy ending massage?
Happy ending massage wasn’t even mentioned in the original Geisha article but instead wound up being an offside comment left as feedback. Still, who am I to judge what search terms people use to bring themselves to OzSoapbox.
In the spirit of it being Saturday night, I thought I’d hit the internet in search of answers and give these readers a…uh, helping hand.
Personally the idea of a happy ending massage has never appealed to me. I just can’t keep my hands to myself and I don’t really think that’s fair to the poor girl just trying to do her job.
Last thing I want is to be carted off by security because I stuffed up happy ending massage protocol or something.
As for where to get one? Well it’s not something I’ve ever had to look up. I mean sure like any other guy I’ve seen the dodgy looking places in Footscray that appear to be massage parlours running out of someone’s home but I’ve never actually stopped to ask.
(I did think about ringing a few of these places but soon realised I wouldn’t be able to call up and ask if a place did happy ending massages with a straight face).
Of course these could just be legit Asian massage parlours, but with stories like this hitting the news every so often, I’m thinking the stereotype exists for a reason.
The pair was charged over a scheme in which a Thai woman, known as KW, came to Australia to work as a prostitute.
The court heard clients would pay $125 for half an hour of sex, with $50 of that amount going towards paying off KW’s debt.
She worked from 11am to 2am and would see as many as 16 clients in that time.
My personal lack of interest in getting a happy ending massage could also have something to do with the fact that I imagine most masseurs who supplement their massages with a happy ending look something like this:
Gentlemen meet Miss Natalie.
Miss Natalie offers happy ending massages in Melbourne and describes herself as having “seriously attractive physical looks”.
…no, really.
She also mentions prostate milking an awful lot on her website. I’m not quite sure what exactly the deal with prostate milking is (yes I looked at the diagram), but I’m assuming it’s so that she can introduce herself as a prostatologist and avoid the awkward pause when people ask her what she does for a living.
At $185-$245 an hour I’m pretty sure I’d be declaring bankruptcy before getting off.
Sydney on the other hand seem to be light years ahead of Melbourne when it comes to happy ending massages and have commercialised the service.
Kings Court Erotic Massage offer up a somewhat amusing PDF about the ins and outs of getting a happy ending massage. The setup seems to be above board although I’m not too sure about waiting in a lounge style waiting area.
To me a whole bunch of guys sitting around chatting whilst waiting their turn for a rub and tug definitely rates up there in experiences I hope I never have. I mean seriously, what are you going to talk about… the weather?
Still at $155 for an hour it sounds a hell of a lot better than getting your prostate milked.
Special mention goes to the Jade Lotus Tantra Massage in Melbourne. If only because I can’t work out what on earth they are about.
Jade Lotus explain that
because Tantra is a mystical subject, it is nearly impossible to define. Even eminent scholars have had a hard time explaining what Tantra actually is. The different explanations of Tantra indicate its multifaceted nature. Tantra is a spiritual science, which means it is also mystical, in its interconnectedness, the holistic wisdom link between ourselves and the universe we inhabit.
THE SEXY DOUBLE GODDESS SESSION.
2 BEAUTIFULLY TRAINED GODDESSES AT THE SAME TIMEBoth practitioners tantilising your every whim. Both of them have you as their sole perogative. Guiding you into an ecstatic sensation of mind and body.
This is not for the faint hearted.
Sorry guys, not convinced.
Who’d have thunk getting a happy ending massage could be so confusing? Still, whether you’re paying uggles mcpuggles for a 1 on 1 session, sitting in a room with a bunch of guys waiting your turn or going along to a religious enlightening experience because you feel less dirty, there definitely seems to be enough variety to cater to the individual.
Good luck out there guys, this is one article I’m kinda glad I didn’t take the hands on approach over.
January 12th, 2010 at 4:09 am melbjoe(Quote)
this place is excellent http://www.melbournetantramassage.yolasite.com
their website is under construction and you will need to email them but its worth it so much better than any of the other places mentioned above, do try it out!
March 1st, 2010 at 11:48 am Adam(Quote)
Hi,
Regarding MISS NATALIE from Melbourne and the FULLY NAKED SENSUAL MASSAGE / PROSTATE/MILKING SERVICES she offers, I found this TESTIMONIAL posted on http://www.punterlink.com
*************************************************************
From: (email address removed)
To: (email address removed)
Subject: FW:
Date: 2 Feb 2010 17:14:05 +1100
From the moment you contact Miss Natalie, she is nothing but a pleasure to be with. A very good conversationalist Miss Natalie certainly is and generally a really nice person to be with. She is more than accommodating for most reasonable requests.
Without seemingly any serious effort she makes you feel relaxed and at ease with what could otherwise be a very nervous time. Once she strips off and reveals her magnificently petite body, the experience really starts. The standard massage Miss Natalie gives is pretty good but it is by no means the star of the show because once she starts The Prostate Massage – Milking side of things only one word describes it… WOW !!!
I had been thinking about getting a prostate massage for a while before I caught her website and I thought that the time was right. Boy, was I right !!!
The feelings that Miss Natalie makes you feel are almost indescribable !!! Most guys think they’ve had an orgasm, but you haven’t REALLY had an orgasm until you’ve had a proper prostate milking / massage. And Miss Natalie certainly knows how to give one. The feelings of nervousness and slight anxiety give way to the most magnificent feeling of overwhelming pleasure as Miss Natalie slowly massages your perineum until she feels you are sufficiently relaxed. Once she determines you are sufficently relaxed, her magic finger does what it does best. Yet if you think that’s good, it’s nothing compared to when she actually hits the spot!!
Once she hits the spot, you’ll find yourself literally screaming in pleasure.
I know I did. As she takes you into her mouth and continues massaging your prostate, the feeling of intense pleasure almost makes you pass out. And as she makes you cum, you feel feelings in your body and mind that you’ve never felt before. The feeling of the prostate orgasm in just fantastic.
A true orgasm, not just a ejaculation and sperm release. I’ve never felt anything like it before and Natalee actually had to put her spare hand over my mouth the first time as I was kind of way way too loud !!!
I’ve never felt a better sexual experience that one of Miss Natalie’s prostate massages and I can’t recommend her highly enough.
Do yourself a favour and go and see her if you’re thinking of doing this, there will be no regrets.
March 1st, 2010 at 5:47 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Hey Adam, I think there’s been a bit of confusion over my inclusion of Miss Natalie in the above article.
I wasn’t so much questioning her uh, technique or um… skill, but rather her physical features. I haven’t exactly looked into the fine details of a prostate massage (that’ll be a new post for another time), but if it entails what I think it does… if I’m going to put myself through that I’m going to at least want a looker doing it.
Not someone who looks like somebody’s grandma.
March 18th, 2010 at 2:13 am Adam(Quote)
Hey ADAM
In a roundabout way your recent kinda interesting story on Miss Natalee kinda got me thinking which in turn kinda got me dialing which in turn kinda got me an appointment with Miss Natalee which kinda led to me been naked with Miss Natalee for just over an hour and well it all was all kinda very bloody amazingly brilliant.
Hells Bells I could fall in love with this woman.
That Grandma comment of yours is either very tongue in cheek or you have the kind of grandma who has the kind of body that Miss Natalee has that I would very much like to ….
Anyway ADAM, great blog and keep up the good work
March 18th, 2010 at 2:33 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
I can’t help but feel something suspicious is going on here but I’ll allow it seeing as you both seem to be posting from different states (same ISP though).
Still doesn’t explain why you both used the alias Adam, used Miss Natalee’s website in the website field and supplied clearly bogus yahoo email addresses.
Anyway I’ll re-iterate that I wasn’t commenting on Natalee’s lack of or abundance of skill as a masseuse, but rather solely on the looks department.
Um are are we looking at the same photo here?!
I don’t care what kind of body you’ve got, if you have the face of a wrinkly 70 year old then it’s go-go-gadget get-me-the-hell-out-of-here!
Seriously am I the only one who has problems with grandmas giving happy ending massages?!
August 5th, 2010 at 12:51 am Michael S(Quote)
Tried my luck on Monday and I must say I was very happy with what I got.
Prostate Milking or Massaging or
whatever they call it must be
The World’s Best Kept Secret.
August 5th, 2010 at 4:14 am Caffeinated SentryGnome(Quote)
Increase your P3nis size today with prostate milking.
Sorry couldn’t help myself.
August 5th, 2010 at 2:01 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Jokes aside, despite the lack of discussion this article has been the top viewed on OzSoapbox for some months now.
I’m half tempted to do a followup into prostate milking. I started the research a month or so back but had to turn back… I just couldn’t bring myself to follow through.
September 1st, 2010 at 12:46 am Bob(Quote)
Head to Richmond Victoria st, they;ve offered me in 2 different places now.
October 13th, 2010 at 9:12 pm george(Quote)
I tried out Natalie. She was late and then turned out to be so drug-fucked she couldn’t do anything.
Nothing happened. I went to another place.
George
October 14th, 2010 at 12:49 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
Seriously?
I mean wow, could you get any more stereotypical?
October 14th, 2010 at 3:04 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Rather than utilising Miss Natalie’s prostate milking service (eew) it’s just as much fun having a colonoscopy.
And… Medicare pays for it. can’t be beaten for value.
Sorry Miss N.
October 19th, 2010 at 4:05 pm Miss Natalie a.k.a. Prostate-Natalie(Quote)
Recently in your SO WHERE DO I GET A HAPPY ENDING MASSAGE thread a particularly nasty and malicious character attack was directed at me by someone claiming to be an ex-client of mine.
Any reasonable person could see that this so called ex-client has gone out of his / her way to prosecute The Ultimate Hatchet Job, for reasons best known to himself / herself, obviously the intent been to cause as much commercial damage as possible without any regard for truth and / or factual accuracy.
Needless to say I utterly repudiate and refute the entire text and subtext of this false and offensive posting.
I have been offering FULL PROSTATE MILKING – HAPPY ENDING PROSTATE MASSAGES now for over 36 months and have gained a reputation of pretty much knowing everything about Prostate Milking and for Delivering The Goods.
I close with this supposition – - IF MY PROSTATE MILKING SERVICES – PERSONALITY and CHARACTER WERE AS LACKING AS THIS POST SUGGESTED, THEN WHY HAS IT TAKEN OVER 11 MONTHS FOR SUCH A SERIOUS DEFICIENCY TO COME TO LIGHT !!!
Natalie
a.k.a.
Prostate Natalie
October 19th, 2010 at 4:24 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Gday Natalie, thanks for stopping by
Obviously this is one we’re going to have to chalk up to he says she says as you and your clients are the only ones who know what happens behind closed doors.
Still, it’s a valid point that if you’ve been uh… milking prostates for 36 months and one anonymous comment on a blog is your only ‘commercial’ criticism, then you’re probably doing something right. Best of luck with your… career choice.
Out of curiosity, doesn’t it feel a little strange to be calling yourself ‘Prostate Natalie’? I mean if I was to start calling myself Vaginabox yeah I’d be feeling just a little weird.
Do you introduce yourself as Prostate Natalie or is it more of a commerical branding thing? Given what a prostate is I just don’t think I’ve ever met a woman who’d be comfortable using it as a suffix with her first name.
October 19th, 2010 at 8:48 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
I’m guessing then that “Duodenum Geoff” ain’t gonna make it commercially?
Damn!
October 20th, 2010 at 3:31 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
I received a reply from Natalie via email that I assume was suppose to be published here;
When you say you call yourself prostate natalie, is that in introducing yourself to other people or like if you’re looking at yourself in the mirror or something. Could you provide perhaps some context as to a situation in which you’d refer to yourself as ‘prostate natalie’.
This has got me curious…
PS. I’d love to interview you… bet you’ve got some stories to tell!
November 10th, 2010 at 2:59 pm Adrian(Quote)
This thread has turned from happy ending to purely about Miss Natalie. I have seen her adds all over the net for a few years and I agree the glowing testimonies seem so over the top that a reasonable person would conclude it is self generated especially when the poster goes on about Miss Natalies looks.
I am not after perfection but she is a very mature, pale skinned, average looking person. Okay, with that said, I have been regularly getting happy endings since 1988.
My first time was back then. I heard rumours about that sort of thing and found out where to look for them. The local community newspaper in the massage section. Found one in Mt Waverely. Made a 30 min booking. It was a private home. I knocked on the door and was greet by a very pleasant looking Chinese girl of about 25.
She led me to a bedroom with a table in the middle. She charged me $30 and let me undress while she went out with my money. I then got a great proffessional back massage.after about 20 minutes the hand pressure became very soft and she start going between my thighs and softly touching my balls and a lot of rubbing in my crack ( brave girl). She asked me to turn over and I did with my full attention showing. She oiled me thorouoghly and gave a me great orgasm cleaning me up with tissue paper afterwards. It was terrific.
Since then I have tried hundreds of similar places. I average one a week. All over Melbourne. The experiences are moving away from pure rub and tug to full service. Most places these days will do it fully nude and then barter for Bj and more. I would say that 90% of the massage adds in the local papers are rub and tug. And also the ones advertising in the health section of the herald sun are too
So,why? For me it’s an easy release. Some guys go to parlours or get visits from pros and like to have a chat and connection and all that stuff, really I think why not just get a Girlfriend?
This is purely a me time type thing. A 30 minute episode where it’s all about me and my enjoyment.
November 10th, 2010 at 3:31 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences Adrian. Interesting about the newspaper ads which I think most people suspect (myself included), but kinda never really know for sure.
I suspect most likely because a lot of the guys that go this route know they aren’t going to be able to get with someone they think is worthy lookswise, without paying.
I’m not saying all prostitutes are glamour queens but there are definitely guys out there with money who know they couldn’t date/be with someone of that looks grade without paying.
Then there’s the whole you’re paying me so I’ll listen and be interested in anything you have to say mentality. Hard to find that in a real girlfriend/partner for 100% of the time you are together.
As far as happy ending massages go, couldn’t the same argument could be made for ‘why not just do it yourself?’
.
I know a rub and tug is most likely way more relaxing but effort vs. cost…?
Having said that $30 is a steal, what’s the going rate these days?
November 10th, 2010 at 6:08 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Thanks for sharing a very interesting (and personal!) story Adrian.
And why shouldn’t it be “all about me”? I have no problems at all with ladies offering this sort of service (ugly word — sorry) and guys utilising them.
After all, we *are* living in the 21st century, and any of the bleeding-heart do-gooders who invariably complain about this sort of stuff really need to get back to their knitting or stamp collecting.
November 14th, 2010 at 8:15 pm Natalie(Quote)
Adrian,
Your expose on $30 a time semi sexual services in Melbourne immediately brought to mind this arresting article I found in an old copy of Herald Sun.
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/four-arrests-in-brothel-raids/story-e6frf7kf-1225947445476
Tell me it ain’t so Adrian.
November 17th, 2010 at 1:11 am Adrian(Quote)
$30 in 1988 was the norm.
Say it wasn’t so Miss N
November 24th, 2010 at 6:08 pm H(Quote)
What a good read!
Very funny stuff indeed.
Last place I went to was bodyline under the west gate bridge.
Spent $160 for 45 mins, think it costs more now.
Dunno why I didn’t go to a brothel instead.
These days thinking about paying some good looking friends $50 instead. Easy money & tax free too.
November 24th, 2010 at 6:26 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
ewwww, the hell kind of friends do you have?
‘yeah so I think I’m gunna head home. cheers for the night out! Hey listen, before I go… hows about… y’know…’
‘…’
‘…down there.’ *points*
‘…’
‘…cmon, I’ll give ya fifty bucks’.
‘dude, get off my property.’
How do you even begin to proposition a happy ending massge for cash amongst friends?!
November 25th, 2010 at 2:00 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Holy macaroni Batman, I’m definitely working in the wrong business!
LOL
November 26th, 2010 at 6:14 pm Adrian(Quote)
I am thinking about trying out miss nat
I know she doesn’t offer Daty or GFE but I’d be happy with Bbbj and CIM
November 28th, 2010 at 12:29 am Adrian(Quote)
Can I just go slightly off on a tangent?
I was expressing my disgust to a girlfriend about the thought of a guy who performed oral sex on himself when she countered with ‘ what’s the difference when you do it to yourself with your hand?’
I couldn’t reasonably give an argument except the whole mouth /cock/cum thing and she wouldn’t understand as she
enjoyed a bit of that thing.
Who would if they could? I won’t judge you just wretch silently
November 29th, 2010 at 1:53 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
My take on self fellacio is that, like a handjob it’s nowhere near as relaxing if you’re doing it yourself.
As for the ew factor, I’d happily go down on a girl but probably not myself. Just like I wouldn’t get turned on by a girl going down on herself (if physically possible).
November 29th, 2010 at 1:57 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
It is quite possible (I’ve seen it on Imagefap.com) but strangely(?) very much a non-event in its perve value. And yes, I agree with the eww factor of a bloke sucking himself off… seems vaguely homo to me?
November 29th, 2010 at 11:42 pm Adrian(Quote)
After thinking about it for years I did book in for a session of the prostrate massage. With a lady in the eastern subs. I made sure to be squeeky clean before hand and after the initial penetration , once she started giving oral at the same time , I’m afraid there’s nothing to stop you from climaxing straight away.
It felt like the longest duration climax Ive ever had. maybe I need to build up my tolerance.
November 30th, 2010 at 2:43 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
I guess that’s why they call it ‘milking’ the prostate…
Sounds alright but the jury’s still out on whether or not I’d ever get it done though
.
December 12th, 2010 at 2:04 am Curious(Quote)
Can I ask for an email address, website ad or mobile for this lady in the Eastern suburbs. Plus age and looks, as Natalie has copped a pounding in here, plus what you paid and for how long.
December 12th, 2010 at 6:14 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
And, I’m guessing, she’s copped a “pounding” in the more literal sense in a lot of other places too LOL.
December 17th, 2010 at 11:28 pm Adrian(Quote)
Hi Curious ( or is that Miss Epsteen checking ?)
no names no pack drill honey
December 17th, 2010 at 11:50 pm Curious(Quote)
Why would I be her, if I am looking for the details of this lady in the Eastern suburbs?
I came to this site to find a good place for a rub and tug. Natalie seems to get a lot if negative feedback, so would like to know more about this lady in the eastern suburbs.
Sorry Adrian, if I use an alias on a forum……
December 18th, 2010 at 9:24 am Adrian(Quote)
You must be very aquainted with her if you know her surname.
What r & t’s have you used before ?
Please provide contact details, websites, emails, pics, DNA
December 18th, 2010 at 10:05 am Curious(Quote)
Obviously this is a waste of time. I am simply looking for a place for good rub and tug. Natalie seems to offer a more specialised version, but by a few accounts here, not a lot if positive posts.
Adrian, you say you had a Prostate massage in the eastern suburbs, I was after who so I could look into it, that is all…… but obviously too much to ask for……
December 18th, 2010 at 7:09 pm Adrian(Quote)
Yes, honey, too much.
December 29th, 2010 at 6:01 pm Spanky Rodriguez(Quote)
…a glass and a half of full cream prostate milk…
January 17th, 2011 at 9:25 am Not happy(Quote)
Well i went to see Miss Natalie this year and to say i was disappointed would be an understatement.
Went into the room with a table. Paid her the money and she went. Now her add promises all these services and well i got ripped off.
Yeah i got a nude body slide and a prostate thing that hurt like hell. No happy ending no oral and for me no return. What a waste of money and petrol.
Too be fair would have been better going to a local rub and tug to have more fun.
OzEdit: ‘someone’ has informed me that the masseuse supplying the premises in these situations is illegal in the state of Victoria. In the interest of keeping the discussion flowing, the above statement shouldn’t be taken as Natalie supplying the premise to offer her services. It could have been anyone’s place.
January 18th, 2011 at 2:18 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
I wonder if there’s a ‘science’ to prostate massaging…
…like is it possible to get every guy off with it or are there just some guys it doesn’t work on?
January 19th, 2011 at 1:27 pm H(Quote)
I’ve never seen it done but I guess it’s possible.
However, how could it be any good when you need to be in the foetal position? Personally I like to arch outwards, not inwards haha.
hehe, so basically you could go into any medical centre for a prostate checkup and get the same result? And could probably bulk bill medicare too.
Anyone know of any good looking female GP’s? haha.
January 23rd, 2011 at 10:48 am Natallie(Quote)
Dear Unhappy,
How dare you fraudulently represent to Oz-Soapbox readers that you have ever personally experienced My Personal Relaxation / Prostate Milking Services when the facts of the matter are something entirely different.
The only truth in your poorly executed grammatically wrong bizarrely spelt 90 word Oz-Soapbox posting is the fact that we briefly met me in person for 30 seconds last weekend. End Of Story.
Every other claim you make is Absolute and Utter Bulltish that is written by a liar, a cheat and a fraud and I make no apology for calling both it and you the way (a) it really is and (b) the way you really are.
Mr Unhappy, it is now decision time on your part, time for you to cut your losses and to walk away from this, just you and your lil ole bruised ego because as far as I am concerned if you persist with these lies you may force me to You-Tube Publish the very identifying security video footage that helped me out you in the first place, and by that I mean the footage of You and Your N.S.W. Registered Ute.
NATALIE
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:33 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Out of curiosity, how would someone not providing a venue but supplying various services have access to security video footage of said venue?
Why would the client provide you with their own security video footage to then possibly use against them?
January 26th, 2011 at 4:19 pm merrybathcelestial(Quote)
awesome article! informative, super entertaining! the comments posted are the coolest too!!
January 28th, 2011 at 1:46 am Adrian(Quote)
I believe Nat has a venue in Beacon Cove. Pretty pricey post code so it it probable she would have
surveillance.
But, maybe if Nat could embellish the story with regard to what happened. Curious people out here. did he make an appointment and then decide he was not up for it after the meet n greet ? Or did he turn up with a smelly crack?
Those northern types are a bit on the nose.
January 28th, 2011 at 12:10 pm Adrian(Quote)
Also, Nat, maybe you’re giving prospective punters food for thought, how much surveillance do you have?
A punter better be on their best behaviour lest they raise the ire of the digital dame of downtown delight ( thanks it did take all my brain to think of that)
January 28th, 2011 at 11:54 pm melb newbie(Quote)
Firstly this has been a rather entertaining read from top to bottom. Secondly im new to melbourne so im interested in this type of service and adrian seems to be the old hand (pardon the pun lol) so what places should i be looking at??
Also does anyone know anything more about the lotus tantra place? Anyone been??
January 29th, 2011 at 2:41 am Adrian(Quote)
I have a core group of ladies I see regularly. Over the years I found a few that were worth sticking
with and have continued seeing them even after they stopped working. Just a on going arrangement.
I find the new breed of HJ places to be staffed by students who don’t even know how to give a decent massage to places
places where you need to look over your shoulder when you enter/exit.
But the easiest way to look is google Leader newspapers then go to classifieds and then ‘something to buy’ finally enter ‘massage’ and your post code. The majority of those places are HJ joints. Also try Langtrees website.
January 29th, 2011 at 10:11 am not Aussie Geoff(Quote)
and another thing we at Oz are mighty proud of our contributors, some more than others, take Adrian for instance (according to him every woman on the planet already has) a little known successful author of 30 years, a cursory glance of is best work must include the following favorites.
SLIP INSIDE ME NOW AND FLOAT MY BOAT – A leading authority on sleaze and torchlight nocturnal-ism let Adrian take you on a personal tour of Melbourne’s Slipperiest Discreet Rear Entrances.(ask The Sexual Bravado with The Photographic Memory Any Question you Like As He Slowly Slowly Blows Your Sexual Curiosities Away)
NO HJ 4 ME – NO HJ 4 U (How an entire generation of men got sucked in, chewed up and spat out whilst getting their first HJ)- ( No Truth Is Murkier, No Truth Harder To Swallow )
WHAT TO DO WHEN AN EX HO SAYS NO – ( a boner of a book if ever there was one this is true story about the deluded punter who helped discover WHOA HOA HO ANONYMOUS in 2010- a self help group where rich men or pretend to be rich men who are addicted to prostitutes go to to exchange stories with their opposite numbers. ( other Men silly )
and that my dear friends is just the beginning of this expose on the works of SLIPPERY SLEAZY AND DISEASE(Y) ADRIAN and his paid life on THE MERRY HO ROUND
copyright 2011
http://www.neverletthetruthstandinthewayofanevenbetterlie.com.au
January 30th, 2011 at 2:34 am Adrian(Quote)
Guilty as charged
January 30th, 2011 at 5:12 pm melb newbie(Quote)
So I’m curious about the process once you are in the building and have selected your girl?
Do you simply ask them what you want or will they tell you what they do? or do you just lay and enjoy and can you cum on them? either face or breasts??
January 30th, 2011 at 11:01 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
…anyone got any idea what ‘not Aussie Geoff’ is on about?
I tried googling to see if he/she was referring to content published elsewhere but to no avail.
Is there any point to the comment or does he/she just have their knickers in a twist over something?
January 31st, 2011 at 1:13 pm Adrian(Quote)
It seems as though Nat is getting personal.
I ASSume business maybe getting slow with punters a bit wary of her way of dealing with an unhappy punter(s)
January 31st, 2011 at 1:18 pm Adrian(Quote)
It’s just a matter of pot luck.
And if you find a great place remember the golden rule ‘don’t tell any bastard’
January 31st, 2011 at 3:52 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
I’m guessing that not Aussie Geoff is actually Miss Natalie, and is taking the piss out of Adrian (and this site) because of ongoing less-than-savoury comments being made about her uh… services.
February 8th, 2011 at 11:13 pm Jade lotus(Quote)
I just saw these posts. Must say that a simple rub and tug is one thing and tantra is another.in ancient temples two three or even four women at once was custom.
Cox you don’t understand tantra shouldn’t mean you diss it. We too do male g spot or prostate work. As well as being the best in the tantric massage industry we were nominated for the adult industry awards.
February 8th, 2011 at 11:16 pm Jade lotus(Quote)
Also Natalie. Don’t worry.you win some and loose some. You can’t satisfy everyone. No need to justify it. Not all men can be pleased. Mostly it’s their issue not yours.
February 8th, 2011 at 11:47 pm Jade lotus(Quote)
Jade lotus is different to http://www.erotictantra.com
I love this blog and about everyones honesty. I would like to know why most people that go for simple happy ending massages are married. They have someone who they can sleep with, instead lie on a massage table eyes closed and ejaculate. In 5 min usually.
Tantra teaches you to hold on for as long as possible. To make the most of your 1 hour. Too much to explain here
February 10th, 2011 at 12:04 am Adrian(Quote)
Jade lotus are you male , female or a entity?
February 10th, 2011 at 11:33 pm Adrian(Quote)
By the way just checked out the Adult industry award website. Getting nominated is as easy as that, just nominate yourself.
Maybe I should nominate our mascot ( by now I’m sure we can all agree that Nat has become the focus of this thread) can I get any support?
If you agree go to the website and nominate our own, Nat Epsteen.
February 16th, 2011 at 3:16 am Jade lotus(Quote)
Hi. I am not sure how one gets nominated for the adult industry awards but I assure you we didn’t nominate ourselves. We received an email saying we were nominated and several phone calls.
As for jade lotus tantra, it is a sexual self development program that was put together as part of a phd. An academic study with proven benefits with over 120 people trained in the program so far. So if you experience a session you do so by a trained practitioner rather than someone just offering a simple happy ending massage .
Though I appreciate jade lotus tantra was mentioned in the initial article maybe the writer should look into alternative methods of sexual satisfaction. Like male multiple orgasm and INjaculations.
Prostate milking is great but not for everyone. It can also be detrimental to your health if you do it too often. Prostate issues is one of the most common health problem for men. Wish you all well on your sexual journey.
If you want to learn more about tantra come to a tantra gathering , for only $40 you get 4 hour intro with exercises fun ways to work with your energies and meet others both singles and couples on the journey.
February 16th, 2011 at 12:30 pm Adrian(Quote)
Thanks jade lotus for your last post, a little less pompous than your initial ones.
I understand that female practioners are referred to as goddesses, your male practioner, Mikael, is he therefore a God?
February 16th, 2011 at 1:27 pm Jade lotus(Quote)
Pompous? Weird word to use. Assuming your over the age of 50 and from Britain. But for your info yes the are known as a god. But we don’t normally use that terminology.
I am assuming you went through the website to find this info and saw we didn’t use the word god hence you asking the question.
So what IS the best massage you have had? No one is mentioning their unforgettable ones, just slot of criticism and projection happening in this blog.
February 16th, 2011 at 2:55 pm Natallie(Quote)
Mr Webmaster
Jade lotus is absolutely spot on the money with her assessment.
Congratulations, Jade lotus, never were truer words ever written.
Hopefully Jade lotus this Webmaster will now redirect in accordance with the actual title of this thread which I believe is/was
” So Where Can I Get A Happy Ending Massage ”
NATALIE
February 17th, 2011 at 12:09 am Adrian(Quote)
Yes Nat you’ve found a sister in arms perhaps but jade lotus hasn’t told us their sex yet.
Jade was warning about too much prostate milking. How much would be too much? Nat, do you , like
bars cut off drunks, have say to a regular
‘I think you’ve had enough milking for now, why don’t you try just playing with that thing in the front for a while’
February 17th, 2011 at 12:12 am Adrian(Quote)
One gets the feeling that Nat and Jade Lotus think this is a serious thread.
February 17th, 2011 at 5:10 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Jade Lotus
Uh.. no thanks, that sound positively painful.
And what… I can become a certified practicioner in ‘getting people offology’ and receive the professional title of ‘god’?
Where do I sign up? I’d do it for the business cards alone.
February 17th, 2011 at 8:40 am Natallie(Quote)
Dear Oz-Soapbox
Why are you such a active poster on your own Online Forums ?
Regarding Online Forums I thought the accepted roles were as follows: (1) The Webmaster chooses, researches and publishes the starting thread/s on the chosen topic, in this instance, So Where Can I Get A Happy Ending Massage.
From this point onwards my understanding was that The Webmaster pretty much backed off and the direction of the thread was left pretty much to the forum readers through their ongoing posts.
I make this comment because I note that out of the 67 posts in this thread, a very substantial 14 of them (20%) are yours and (with respect) very few of these 14 posts are Progressive, are On Topic or are Positive Improvements To The Thread – - more so a reasonable person would conclude that most of your comments seem to comprise snide, personal, facetious attacks on people like myself, the very people who are making your website the success it is today.
February 17th, 2011 at 9:22 am ausGeoff(Quote)
I’m guessing you don’t quite understand that this is a blog (weblog) and NOT a forum; there’s a subtle but important difference.
A blog is primarily a diary or running commentary of the blogger’s thoughts and opinions, or descriptions of events or daily happenings. In fact it’s often the case that the blogger has more entries under any topic header than his respondents.
Nope; quite the opposite in fact. The blogger — should he so choose — could feasibly provide 100% of the blog content (if nobody else decided to respond). The “direction” of the blog is very much defined by the blogger himself.
They don’t have to be; it’s the blog owner’s choice as to what he says or how he says it. In effect, you’re only here as a guest. If you don’t like a particular blog, then you’re always welcome to no longer participate. Nobody’s twisting your arm!
Hmmm… you’ve noticed LOL. Maybe, just maybe, you deserve them?
And you’re truly flattering yourself if you think it’s people like you who’ve made this blog a “success”. Thus far on this thread ALL your posts have been either subtle advertising, whinging about other posters, or attacking Oz — and his blog — personally.
Yep… that’s really helped things along… NOT.
PS: Is it “Miss Natalie”, “Natalie”, or “Natallie”? Or can’t you remember your nom de guerre of the day?
February 18th, 2011 at 5:10 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Natalie
Uh… because without me there’s no content. These aren’t forums, OzSoapbox is a blog.
Welcome to the internet. There are no
rules‘roles’, accepted or otherwise.OzSoapbox: Because criticism isn’t an armchair sport.
As for biting the hand that contributes to the success of this website, I value my commenters but reserve the right to express my opinion. As for you personally, I wrote about you before you began to comment on this site and I’ve driven far more traffic to your website (thousands of visitors) then you’ve sent me (which to date I believe is none).
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:43 am MassageLover(Quote)
Recently I have been to Jade lotus on Toorak Road. It is absoulte waste of money. Keeping all the marketing talk on their website aside, the receiptionist offered me 2 options –
1: Sensual Tantric massage(No ejaculation) – AUD 180/- for 1.5 Hrs
2: Tantric massage(with Ejaculation) – AUD 250/- for 1 Hr. I was waiting in a warm room, a lady(who claims to be Russian) in her mid/late 40′s arrived, did the “Job” and I was out in 45 minutes including shower!
There is no tantra, no science, no techniques or whatso ever. so friends, beware!!
February 23rd, 2011 at 6:51 pm Adrian(Quote)
I had tantric massage some years ago and besides putting some oil on my chakras it was basically a nude massage with a lingham massage ending ( happy ).
For some reason if you add the word tantra to massage you can charge triple the amount of a normal massage.
March 3rd, 2011 at 2:47 pm jade lotus(Quote)
At massage lover:
Well.. if you look on the website.. there are two options.. the erotic option.. and the one you did was the first of the erotic option.. or the jade lotus program option.. which is $170 for 1.5 hours..
there is a difference.. And the erotic sessions are not jade lotus sessions.. they are exactly that… erotictantra.com and the jadelotus sessions are http://www.tantramassage.com.au different staff, different extablishment.. same venue.
But at the end of the day.. as i mentioned before to Natalie.. there are some clients who just want the “happy ending massage” and would not see any other service even if it squirted them in the face…
So many clients come in whereby they start at the beginning.. and learn so much.. improve their lifestyles and loves lessons with Tantra.. and there are those like yourself.. who opt for the erotic session straight away.. and only wait for the “happy ending”.
Learn nothing, and take on nothing from the session.
So once again.. another client who wasnt “happy” with his “happy ending” .. but he still HAD ONE… hmmmmm..
if you wanted more SCIENCE, More Technique.. start with the Session 1….
Jade Lotus Tantra is a program developed with a proven outcome via a PhD statistical survey and analysis.. Start from Session 1 and dont pretend to know anything about tantra and start at the erotic sessions, those sessions are for people who have done the level 1, 2 and 3 program before…
receptionist told you that (you even stated this) but you left out the fact that level 1 is for beginners.. the erotic is for experienced. probably didnt hear that as your erection probably got the better of you…
March 3rd, 2011 at 5:05 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
As I’ve said before, I’m definitely working in the wrong profession LOL. Let’s face it: $115 per hour for giving guys hand jobs! Where do I sign up?
I’m sorry to be a skeptic, but are you seriously suggesting that anybody who’s a Doctor of Philosophy would be involved with research into something as nebulous as tantric massage? And that it resulted in a proven outcome?
I’m always willing to learn, so I’d be pleased if you could provide us with a link to this successful PhD research program.
As far as I know, Tantra doesn’t involve any “science” at all (in the normally accepted sense of its meaning).
It’s just more New Age bullshit spouted by its practitioners to make a quick buck.
As I understand it, Tantra is essentially a lifestyle or a way to acknowledge our sensual and spiritual selves, and to accept everything — even the paradoxes — and to open our hearts totally.
These things don’t sound like any “science” I’m aware of: they simply seem to concern meditative techniques and rituals sometimes involving sexual practices.
March 3rd, 2011 at 7:50 pm Adrian(Quote)
Jade lotus you’re certainly giving me reason to use the word pompous again.
A few other words come to mind too.
March 4th, 2011 at 12:08 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Is this some kind of massage niche tribal war we’ve inadvertently stumbled into?
THE HAPPY ENDINGISTS VS THE TANTRA PURISTS! IT’S AWWWWWWWWN!
I’m kinda half tempted to look more into Tantra and do a write up on it but I get the feeling I’d be biting off more than I could chew.
March 5th, 2011 at 1:24 am Jade lotus(Quote)
On the website there is a link to the world congress of sexology abstract pages and list. There is quite alot there but type in jade lotus tantra in the search option.
All in all, being a blog we can write opinions and post out thoughts but I don’t think anyone should get nasty. In the beginning it was to Natalie and now to me.
We as women provide a service to many a client who are very happy with the service that there are regular clientele. There are always a small handful who are not happy, usually the type who are unhappy in many other areas of life too.
Ozsoapbox.. Maybe write about ‘happy ending massages’ for women . There is a huge market for this that has not been tapped into.
Like you married men who like to stray there are so many desperate housewives who love to play. Maybe you guys Do need to change professions. With all this criticizing seems you may love a change of occupation. Or just learn to love the different things life brings.
March 5th, 2011 at 1:42 am Jade lotus(Quote)
Oz soap box. The Australian association for massage therapists did an article titled tantra:therapy or taboo. Check it out.
There was a conference of sexuality in Byron bay not long ago. Lots of people presenting… Will give alot to both write and laugh about. Don’t bag tantra or sacred sexuality, only those specific people who think they know what it is and teach it.
So many come and go, some last, others love it for it’s poly purposes some want to get closer to monogamy. All in all, not services but individual teachers you should look at.
If you have a complaint about the tantramassage of jade lotus tantra call the centre, talk to Tara and make your complaint. There is always a window for rectifying your experience. That practitioner might have alot to say about you too or maybe will aopologise, do a better service with a discount for next time.
With the jade lotus temple, the program is different and each individual practitioner too. Sometimes it is a long exhausting day or feeling drained, give us women a chance to explain or fix it, we would love to do so. There are 9 people in Melbourne practicing jade lotus tantra and nearly 150 globally, so try someone different, remembering that jade lotus tantra is a non sexual program starting from level 1.
Sacred sexuality Australia do the erotic master classes, not jade lotus tantra.
I am sure I’ll get a huge backlash from this post, pl be nice
March 5th, 2011 at 4:08 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Still waiting…
From the Jade Lotus site:
“Origionally [sic] a Phd Thesis, jade Lotus Tantra developed into a program in which clients were tested, and statistics compiled to produce a work that enabled the professional spectrum to learn about the Health benefits of Sacred Sexuality. Compiled and put together and presented [by] a well established University in the UK, it was shown that Jade Lotus Tantra had Many healing benefits, both physical and emotional in the area of sexuality.
Could you please advise us:
1) The name of the person who presented the thesis for their doctorate, and which particular doctorate they were studying for;
2) Which professions and/or professionals were involved in learning from this doctorate;
3) The name of the UK university.
If you’re going to invoke science in substantiating the benefits of a particular therapy, then it’s crucial that you support your claims with verifiable references — and not just the vague claims made on some “woo” web site.
I await your response.
March 5th, 2011 at 4:30 am Natallie(Quote)
So where in Melbourne, does one get a Happy Ending Massage from then ??
March 5th, 2011 at 10:11 am jade lotus(Quote)
ausgeoff… Wow.. you really want to know? or are you simply trying to make this into some sort of a weird attack once again. i dont have to prove this to you or anyone.. and i will CERTAINLY NOT give my real name to you. Jade Lotus is a spiritual name.. not my real name… and that is by choice. Wow.. that you can go into the websites, and research to prove and show things on blogs ..it just seems that you must have Alot of free time on your hands to try and discredit people. But rest assured…. it is all ligit, academic, and very very real..
Natalie… I agree… seems this blog has turned into something off the topic.. Seems both you and i were mentioned here.. and never had a chance to show that our services are really great, and have had amazing results for many people. Seems that this blog was set to attack us, our services and our staff….
This simply proves that in the arena of sexuality, men think they are almighty, us women can be treated terribly.
But rest assured men… we women are empowered, sensual and truely in our goddess element and do not need to proove to you or to others that we are deserving of respect for what we do, and how we do it..
If you dont like it… GO ELSEWHERE… no need to try to defame or make people in this industry into things they are not.
Ausgeoff.. if you want proof.. its all there.. on the website… your reading it.. picking off a sentence here and there and posting it.. cannot you see what you want to see???
OZSOAPBOX: can we get back to the original topic.. as Natalie to well put it…
March 5th, 2011 at 11:00 am Natallie(Quote)
So um, where abouts in Melbourne, does one get a Happy Ending Massage from then ??
March 5th, 2011 at 2:47 pm Adrian(Quote)
If you care to read the posts, nat, it’s mentioned how you can find them.
It will save you repeating yourself.
March 5th, 2011 at 2:51 pm Adrian(Quote)
Every free classified listing where you have your adds, from adoos to locanto to cracker have all sorts male and female groin grapplers,
but,you knew that anyway
March 5th, 2011 at 3:11 pm Adrian(Quote)
Jade lotus you don’t get out of it that easily.
If you are posting your opinions as being factually based but failing to provide basic verifiable stats of course you are going to taken to task.
You brought up these findings and maybe you’re used to dealing with people with gullible minds and fat wallets but men are visual and bearing mind we can’t see your goddess like charms in person we are thinking with our ( slightly) bigger heads here.
March 5th, 2011 at 5:44 pm Natallie(Quote)
QUESTION: Adrian, ever wondered why most people instantly dislike you ??
ANSWER: It saves time !!
March 5th, 2011 at 6:43 pm Adrian(Quote)
Have I upset you, sweetness?
March 5th, 2011 at 6:50 pm Adrian(Quote)
Maybe I should make a booking with you and see what the fuss is about.
March 6th, 2011 at 3:54 am ausGeoff(Quote)
I guess this response proves you’re full of bullshit Jade Lotus?
Yes, I do want the evidence for the pseudo-scientific claims you’re making here. Isn’t that fair enough? you’re using an alleged PhD thesis to support your assertions, but you won’t divulge its source. Why not? I’m guessing that’s simply because there is no PhD evidence!
I have no idea what you mean by a “weird attack”? You certainly can’t get away that easily — by attacking me LOL. And where exactly did I ask you for your “real name”? Nowhere I can see; care to point it out?
And yes; you do have to prove your wild assertions here Jade Lotus. Otherwise, we’ll all just assume you don’t in fact have any supporting evidence for your bizarre concepts of “tantric massage”.
What I do have a penchant for is exposing “New Age” fraudsters like you Jade Lotus; the purveyors of meaningless, pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo using nonsensical terms such as “energy exchange” meditations, “techniques” of “sexual healing,” “transformative touch”, “energy pathways”, “hidden” powers, “chakras”, “cosmic” forces, “co-centering” and “meridian points”
And I certainly don’t have to spend much time discrediting charlatans such as you Jade Lotus; you’re doing that extremely well here on this blog — without much effort on my part.
Can we really “rest assured” that tantric massage is “legitimate, academic, and very very real”? Thus far you haven’t provided any empirical evidence whatsoever for its legitimacy. Other than, of course, attacking any of us who ask for meaningful answers. Or expecting us to believe your crazy theories purely because you say it’s so.
Are you still refusing to name the well-known university in the UK that presented the positive research about tantra? If so, why? It’s a fair question in order to support your claims surely?
No Jade Lotus; the proof I seek is not on your website. It’s just the same old new age rubbish presented as it is on a thousand other bogus sites out there. There are no accredited scientific studies listed; no peer-reviewed articles in any recognised medical journals; no reports from any academic institutes anywhere in the world.
And as far as I can ascertain, the oft-quoted “National Institute of Tantra” simply doesn’t exist. It’s just a name Jade lotus uses to give its site an air of legitimacy. It doesn’t even have its own phone number or street address!
Additionally, the International Association of Sexual Educators, Counsellors & Therapists (IASECT) seems not to exist in its own right either. Its street address is identical to the street address of Jade Lotus Tantric Massage. What a surprise! Not.
It seems to be run by someone called Suheyl Yekenkurul. But who can tell for sure LOL.
So… the only two alleged accredited organisations that rate a mention on the Jade Lotus page are both bogus. Not a very good way to promote a business.
March 6th, 2011 at 1:43 pm Natalie(Quote)
Ausgeoff,
Why not ask your good friend Adrian all about Tantric Massage. By his on hand he has admitted to having a had one some time ago (mind you I bet he admits to doing many things many times by his own hand)(why am I not surprised?)
Perhaps People Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn’t Throw Stones)
March 6th, 2011 at 4:18 pm jade lotus(Quote)
Once again… i told you the links are on the website.. seems you do not look.. just ready to say negative words straight away…. link to the World Congress of Sexology abstract:
http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.106.4449&rep=rep1&type=pdf
is the link to the congress abstract… i said this before.. and search for jade lotus as it is a big file..
I said before… The phD is aquired from Somerset University in the UK.. and i said before.. i WILL not divulge my real name for your satisfaction.. which is the name that the PhD was done by..thats my privacy… maybe you should divulge your academic details? your personal name on an internet blog? this is simple. Masters Degree was both La Trobe University in Melbourne and the University of Sydney.. and undergraduate studies were with La Trobe University and Deakin University.
What other facts did you want to know??
The article for the AAMT is on this link:
http://www.tantramassage.com.au/pdf/pages%209-10.pdf
and IASECT head office is with the NIT.. as the Head office in the UK.. as well as the US.. we are the governing head here. as the name states:: “International” institute for sexual educators, counsellors and therapists.. not just Australia.
And you can contact the BLA to check if it is a registered Incorporated Association. I have the certificate of incorporation framed and in my office. The use of the address for the Tantra Temple… is because it is a commercial premises.. leased and the office is there… or is that not permited?? should it have been elsewhere?? an office or a building that is more suitable to you?? not sure what would make you happy in this regards?
I did not state the PhD was for Tantra Massage.. it was a study on eastern philosophy coupled with modern Psychology.. and the researched as outlined in the Abstract…It is based upon origional research from the school of clinical Science. I do hope you call and do your checks.. but it seems you still wont be satisfied unless i scan and upload the picture of the Certification for your satisfaction…
INTRODUCTION To Study the sexual, health and relationship
benefits of the Three Level Jade Lotus Tantra Technique. Study on Males aged between 26-66. Study on Females aged between 26-66 study on couples aged between 26-66 Technique involves work on Chakras, energy centres, breath, spiritual elements, sacred sexuality,alternative healing methods involving Massage, Therapy and Pranayama.
METHOD Session 1 involves: Full Body Massage and knowledge on the Chakras : The chakras are the key to physical health, emotional stability and mental clarity.
The chakras are vortexes of moving energy, which then stimulate various endocrine organs in the body to secrete hormones into the blood system. The effects of hormones control our body. They also affect our state of mind.
Physiologically each chakra is also connected to an endocrine gland, a physical organ and a bodily function. The location of each chakra corresponds to the location of a neuronal plexus, a network of cells dense with neuro-peptide transmitters and electro – chemical activity
Level 2 involves: Pranayama. teaching convergence and synchronization of breath; life force merging into a vortex, physical and subtle energy exchange taking place.
entering into a spiritual realm.
Level 3: helps awaken the energy which then rises along the spinal column, activating all the Chakras on the way up. This is done through the massage, the breath and a heightened sense of awareness through meditation.
RESULTS clients are asked to fill out a research sheet with survey data involving questions on how the three levels have made IMPROVEMENTS on
1. Sexual Experience/relationship with Partner 78%
2. Emotional Relationship with Partner 82%
3. Sexual desire 87%
4. Ability to control ejaculation 81%
5. ability to maintain erection 82%
6. Orgasm experience 85%
7. Sexual Confidence. 94%
Conclusion Jade Lotus Tantra Technique improves overall sexuality
>> is there anything else you need to satisfy your urges to say that i am full of bullshit… I told you.. that it is all very very real, very ligit, academic.. And if you dont believe in mediation, energy, chakras, new age stuff.. thats your perogative… it works as a therapy for thousands of people.. more than you can imagine… if you dont like… then agree to disagree..
you write: What I do have a penchant for is exposing “New Age” fraudsters like you Jade Lotus; the purveyors of meaningless, pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo using nonsensical terms such as “energy exchange” meditations, “techniques” of “sexual healing,” “transformative touch”, “energy pathways”, “hidden” powers, “chakras”, “cosmic” forces, “co-centering” and “meridian points”. Gees.. thats pretty much everything..
Once again.. if you read what i write… Rather than pick a sentence or two… The JADE LOTUS TANTRA PROGRAM is NON SEXUAL>.. the Erotic Sessions are NOT a part of the program that was researched… it is the level 1, 2 and 3.. not erotic “happy ending sessions”…
and practitioners are trained in the program…and individual practitioners practice accordingly.. if you don’t like their personalities.. or looks.. it is not the fault of the program..
And once again… Jade Lotus Tantra is the name of the Program… not my real name.. and THAT.. i will not divulge to you as i have a right to my privacy..
any other information you would like.. do you want me to post my thesis on here for your to read?? names… phone numbers?? for you to check? resume?? association memberships? character references?
March 6th, 2011 at 4:25 pm Adrian(Quote)
So when can I book in nat?
March 6th, 2011 at 4:29 pm jade lotus(Quote)
OH.. when the program was presented at the congress.. i was approached by many professionals in the field who wanted to work with me in the use of this program… many from the US.. from the UK.. and many other countries . . it was a World Congress… as the Jade Lotus Tantra program is am approachable, easily accessed sexual self development program.
Not many people like to go to a sex therapist, some people just want to learn techniques and work on certain areas of their sexuality.. this program allows that…
But Ausgeoff.. i would like to meet you personally… i will show you the information.. and i would like for you to apologise for what you have written here about me, and about my work…
How dare you say i am full of bullshit.. without knowing anything.. you have already written your terrible things…
Ozsoapbox.. i dont think certain things on this blog should be allowed to be posted here.. if you follow the thread.. there is no need for anyone to be nasty….the international websites are http://www.instituteoftantra.com http://www.jadelotustantra.com http://www.jadelotustantra.co.uk and many more.. do you want more.. or are all these “bullshit also”?
Gees… seems women working in the line of sexuality must proove themselves to mens egos?
But ausgeoff.. if you have the serious Need to prove this program wrong.. i would like to meet you to show you all the empirical evidence.. the research and the certifications… to satisfy your ego.. and then you can go on your merry way.. but thanks to your ego.. i am sure you wont apologise.
March 6th, 2011 at 6:42 pm Adrian(Quote)
I wonder if that meeting will have a happy ending?
March 6th, 2011 at 9:26 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
I think it’s best if our discussion ends here Jade Lotus. we’re both of us banging our heads against a brick wall, and really in danger of hijacking this entire thread.
Fare thee well.
March 6th, 2011 at 10:13 pm jadelotus(Quote)
i agree…
i think ending it here is a happy ending..
March 6th, 2011 at 10:52 pm Bec(Quote)
Sooooooo…… I did a Google search pretty much wanting to know the difference between sanitarium weetbix and Aldi’s wheat biscuits and ended up here! Half an hour later I’ve just finished reading this whole thing….
Jade lotus and Natalie…. are you guys for real??
Stop acting like such martyrs. If you are working in the sex industry isn’t it a given that people are going to find you offensive in general? Of course the added fact that you’re touting tantra and prostate milking only further provokes peoples skepticism.
Perhaps if you guys spent less time playing the victim and more time thinking about the fact that you’ve chosen to be part of a minority group it may help you accept peoples reactions. Just sayin’.
Oh and Jade, perhaps you and I could exchange information?
You tell me more about Tantra and I’ll tell you about my religion: Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. You can find info on it at http://www.venganza.org if you’re interested in some premature research
March 7th, 2011 at 5:02 am jadelotus(Quote)
bec… if you read the thread you would see that this topic is closed. not going to comment as all is written…
talk to the cookie monster about your church.. he might help…
March 7th, 2011 at 6:35 am Bec(Quote)
Jade, I wrote my post before you guys agreed to end the conversation. I got a ‘awaiting moderation’ message which obviously delayed my post being displayed.
And it’s the flying spaghetti monster, not the cookie monster.
March 7th, 2011 at 8:02 am Adrian(Quote)
I have always found that Aldi has great quality and price but nothing beats Sanitarium for Wheat biscuits
March 7th, 2011 at 7:19 pm Bec(Quote)
Lol, yes… in oz’s blog I learned that the two just don’t compare.
Aldi’s pasta sauce’s are nothing to write home about either, in my opinion.
March 7th, 2011 at 8:09 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@jadelotus
Was that before or after you sent legal threats because people were trashing off tantric massage?
This is a blog, topics are neither open nor closed.
March 7th, 2011 at 9:37 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Tell me you’re joking with this Oz… please.
March 8th, 2011 at
[...] originally included them in an article asking ‘So… where can I get a happy ending massage?‘. I was confused as their site mentioned a whole bunch of spiritual sounding jargon but then [...]
March 8th, 2011 at 5:19 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Jade Lotus
No they didn’t, you yourself wrote an article that was published in the Australian Association of Massage Therapists Journal.
@ausgeoff
Yeah wish I was. Seems these gods and godesses might be letting it go to their heads a bit.
You can read more about the threats in ‘National Institute of Tantra make threats over critics‘.
March 8th, 2011 at 10:00 am MassageLover(Quote)
Finally, is there a place in/around Melbourne, where I can get happy ending massage for a reasonable price(NOT kind of tantric happy ending/ tantric pricing!)??
March 8th, 2011 at 11:07 pm Afghanistan(Quote)
I have been in afghanistan for a couple of months and I am in my mid twenties. I enjoy the flaming here ( people getting upset at each other).
I am still a virgin. I feel very stupid now. I keep wondering if i die i wont experience sex with another person but if I didnt experience it then I won’t miss it.
I am under the night sky full of stars and I can see the time light from windows on the houses down below the mountains. Its getting cold. Don’t tell anyone you feel cold because it leads to exercise.
I just think It is so difficult to do anything with women. Its like I cant get into the situation where it is going to happen.
Then I was hoping we would be in stop over overseas and go to a brothel sneaking off. It didnt happen that way. We got put right in the middle of this A+HOLE OF A PLACE.
I keep procrastinating about these things. If the others only knew id be the laughing stock of the service. I have to becareful not to mention anything that can identify myself in the ADF.
I find it funny that we get all these news about sex romps in the navy. Damn I should of joined them.
March 9th, 2011 at 1:59 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
Does a happy ending massage count as losing your virginity though?
I always thought virginity was a penetration thing.
March 9th, 2011 at 7:03 am jadelotus(Quote)
ausgeoff… not a threat.. just asking for my privacy.. seems ozsoapbox is moderating, taking info out, adding it in when he chooses…
Many people are trying to comment on the other article about what is being written, and their posts are not allowed because of either isp bans, or moderating the comment or a “you said that before” comment coming when they never posted before.
Ozsoapbox’s facination on my work seems a little weird.. trying to make it into something huge.. doesnt make sense…
and alot of people are trying to say so… without ozsoapbox’s allowance. First it was to Natalie… then to me…i guess his need to have attention goes back to his problems in childhood…. hence this website…
I wont be posting again…
i think i said all that i needed to say..
March 9th, 2011 at 11:18 am Natalie(Quote)
Oz-Soapbox,
So the 16 month old and really really successful So Where In Melbourne Can I Get A Happy Massage Ending Massage From Thread on The Oz Soapbox Blog is now closed.
What a sad demise for an otherwise very good thread !!
I am disappointed in you because you have chosen to close the thread not because the thread had no contributors or was going nowhere but because of some very scary legal threats you have received from a known but now a pretty aggrieved past contributor.
It should not have come to this and it need not have come to this but for you allowing the contributors an almost complete carte blanche licence to do and to say as and whatever they liked in the thread without regard for truth, accuracy or pretty much anything else a fact evident over the last month or so with there have been an ever increasing number of posts that were top to tail full of commentary that was very questionable at best and seriously snide, malicious and nasty at worst.
This sort of commentary that should not have got published in the first place…or certainly not published without a bloody good editing from you.
Whether you accept it or not as moderator that was your responsibility and all you had to do was to keep all contributions on topic by ensuring all contributors walked a reasonably straight line and played a reasonably straight bat. In my opinion that was a responsibility you ignored, hence some pretty offensive and possibly seriously wrong things managed to get published verbatim in very recent days
It seems to me that you got more juice by joining in what was rapidly becoming an long distance pissing a.k.a. a my dick is bigger than your dick contest … and join in the debate you did on many occasions.. in some cases fanning the fireball with petrol rather than keeping things fair and honest and reasonable.
Do not get me wrong, its your thread, its your blog, and you can do and say as you like on it but as you have now discovered not without consequences or more aptly, not without the Threat of Legal Consequences.
The Precedent You Have Set For Your Blog In The Future is scary to say the least especially for the long term future of your blog.
Your dispute resolving formulas have enlightened potentially thousands of future contributors on the really easy way they can protest if they do not like what they read and to boot probably get an extremely successful result as a consequence.
I hope you have learned all that need to be learnt from this experience and sadly I am sorry you didn’t get a happy ending.
Best Wishes
NATALIE
PS- – So Where In Melbourne Can I Get A Happy Ending Massage From ??
March 9th, 2011 at 3:22 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Natalie, your misunderstanding of how a blog works is borderline comical.
If commentary on this article was closed, how are you continuing to contribute?
Hardly scary. They weren’t the first threats I’ve received and I’m sure they won’t be the last. There’s a lot of precious people in this world.
I don’t allow contributors to do anything. But they are free to have their say.
As for truth and accuracy, it simply comes down to he says/she says doesn’t it. You say one thing, they say another.
I can’t verify personal stories but I do allow people to rebut what is published. I think that’s fair.
Exactly what ‘succesful result‘ has been achieved here. I haven’t removed anything as I don’t think there’s any need to. All information provided has been sourced from publicly accessible websites and properly attributed.
If the succesful results desired was ‘nothing happened’, then yeah… mission accomplished and cheers all round.
I’ll continue publishing as normal. If anyone’s going to learn anything out of this I hope Jade Lotus gets some PR education on how and how not to engage the world at large.
March 9th, 2011 at 3:25 pm Adrian(Quote)
So Jade has gone.
Now, Nat, maybe your inane rants have been slightly amusing but you’re just talking shit now.
March 9th, 2011 at 4:38 pm H(Quote)
hmmm, business must be quiet for jade lotus and Nat.
Been a while since I’ve read so much rubbish. Along with the PHD and tantra studies you guys should learn a bit about “class” as well.
Anyway, I had a proper massage last week as I was a bit sore all over, she was a middle aged chinese lady and towards the end she asked if I wanted a hand job for $20.
After I recovered from ‘shock’ I quickly said no it’s ok, then she tried to persuade me that it would feel really good. I was thinking “that might be true, but from you… no way in hell” hehe.
March 10th, 2011 at 2:29 am Bec(Quote)
It’s just going round in my head, the same question: why on earth would those girls have gotten themselves involved in this thread to begin with?? Natalie could almost be forgiven, but educated little Jade Lotus?
“Oh no! If anyone googles ‘Jade Lotus’, they might end up here! ….hmmm I did say some silly things that don’t make my business seem credible.
Oh, I know! If I threaten the blogger with legal action mayyyyyybe he’ll get scared into deleting my silly billy comments!
Oh. Poo. It didn’t work out. Guess I’ll be slinking away with my tail between my legs now.”.
And Natalie, sweetheart? It’s good that you know some big words but it doesn’t really suit you.
See, in my opinion, if you want to pull of impressing people with your eloquent and extensive use of vocabulary, you need to be able to simultaneously pull off correct placement of capital letters. Just sayin’.
March 10th, 2011 at 6:14 am ausGeoff(Quote)
I’ve been doing some research into so-called “diploma mills” in the US, (which, for a hefty fee, mail you a fancy-looking — but academically valueless — diploma or degree) and discovered this article which mentions the Somerset “university” as being one such non-accredited institute of “learning”.
Its director’s name and address (before it was shut down by the UK government’s Office of Fair Trading) was, according to this site:
Dr David Rogers,
Director of Studies,
Somerset University,
Ilminster, Somerset TA19 0BQ UK
You can read all about it (and other diploma mills) here:
http://www.credentialwatch.org/reports/mcquaid.shtml
It’s a fairly lengthy piece to read, but well worth the effort. In parts it reads like excerpts from a Monty Python script LOL.
March 10th, 2011 at 11:53 am Clare(Quote)
http://www.happyending.com.au
March 10th, 2011 at 1:36 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@ausgeoff
Not enough time to read all of that yet, but if I’m understanding correctly – Somerset University, where Jade Lotus’ PHD was done, was shut down by the UK Office of Fair Trading?!
That’s some credibility right there.
March 10th, 2011 at 4:12 pm jadelotus(Quote)
It seems if me or Natalie say anything.. all you guys are doing is trying to write childish comments in return to bully us back down.
There is a right to privacy, there is a right to work in whatever industry we want, there is a right to love what we do, and a right to speak our minds.
But it seems, Jadelotus and Natalie cannot speak in this thread.. Seems that people like BEC, (a late contributor) and ozsoapbox are just ready with insults, and trying to put us down. Bec… no one is walking away with their tails behind their legs… Again.. an attempt to talk us down..
There is nothing in this thread that i said that was silly. Anything that Ozsoapbox says.. MUST BE RIGHT.. of course.. it is his website.. Seems that the influences, predjudices and negative opinions of the adult industry are evident right here in this website..
Once again.. i am not embarrased ONE BIT of what i said here.. I requested personal information not be posted on this website.. and i did this privately… Where is the silliness in that..
One thing you need to understand.
Us women in the adult industry, or working with sexuality.. are proud of what we do. We have “class” to express our sexuality, and love our bodies and our minds.
But me and Natalie.. in this thread… ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO STAND UP FOR WHAT WE BELIEVE IN.. Towards the few on this thread who are ridiculous enough to try to bring it down….
We earn a good living from what we do and support our familes. And ozsoapbox.. cut and paste from this what you like… Seems thats all you do.. Pick on us to make the thread interesting.
Im not worried about what i have written here.. it simply looks like an attack on our work.. its simple… And intelligent people will see that.
March 10th, 2011 at 8:05 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Yeah there’s a right to privacy, but it’s a bit rich trying to claim it when you yourself have plastered your details all over the web.
If there was no record of it and somebody else did it, then yeah, by all means claim your right to privacy.
As for the rest of your ‘we have the right to’s', nobody ever claimed otherwise. Playing the feminist martyr doesn’t really further your point of view.
March 10th, 2011 at 8:23 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Hey there Jade Lotus…
I personally wasn’t intending to “bully” you by posting my link to Somerset “university” [SU] above. In fact (and whether you believe me or not is immaterial Jade) I discovered that link to SU purely by accident.
My joke about ‘Monty Python’ was intended as a denigration of SU itself, and not you personally Jade. I was simply making the point that SU in the UK is not, and never has been an accredited institute of learning that has the academic authority to issue diplomas, degrees or doctorates.
For that reason, my link to SU is intended to be informational for others to check out.
But… I do believe that as you’ve specifically used an alleged “PhD” from SU in support of your argument in defense of tantric massage — and from the implied scientific credibility that a PhD infers — that you need to respond to the content of this site that refers specifically to SU:
http://www.credentialwatch.org/reports/mcquaid.shtml
I’ll await your response regarding the academic legitimacy of your PhD. If in fact you do possess an authentic PhD from an accredited institute of learning, then I’m more than happy to retract my comments about your qualifications.
March 10th, 2011 at 9:15 pm jadelotus(Quote)
to get abn info, you click into the abn database and specifically search fo it. To type out private names, you specifically look for it. With your collective efforts, it was a specific collection of information. My abn details dont come up on search engines.
Anyway……. Thank you for this thread…and unbeknown to you all, you actually boosted appoiintments….and opposite to becs comments, people are seeing this on the net and enquiring with curiosity…. And they are booking.
First i was slightly dismayed about all of this… But turns out karma is favourable.
You mentuoned ozsoapbox..how are the people here who want to rebutt you contacting me to tell me your not letting their comments be posted… They are being directed to my website thanks to this thread… Which is another thanks.
Still dont think making a specific search on government databases and posting abn details and names is necessary, info that does not go on search engines… But soapbox needs to do what he needs to do….
Im certain your even curious what all the fuss is about regarding tantra massage… And when the day comes that you actually try it… I hope you remember jade lotus.
P.s even if you dont try it, one day you will meet someone who has… Good or bad experience.. You mind will hold a thought to this thread im sure… Not flattering myself…but happy to have tantra massage associated with jade lotus tantra on the net… thanks for the advertising.
March 10th, 2011 at 10:08 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
So uh.. what do you think we used to search and look for this information then?
ABN details by law are required to be made public if you want to register a business website in .au. This isn’t private information.
Searching public databases might not be neccessary, but it is publicly accessible information. Hardly private.
And here we go again playing the martyr. The point was never to ruin your business nor was Jade Lotus ever the focal point of this article.
I’m completely aware of the amount of traffic I send Natalie’s way via this article. Your website, not so much but whatever you get then more power to you.
As someone mentioned many moons ago, you at times appear to be under the impression that this is a serious discussion.
March 10th, 2011 at 10:36 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Jade Lotus, can you kindly respond to my posting [above, March 10th, 2011 at 8:23 pm] about Somerset’s accreditation processes?
March 11th, 2011 at 12:44 pm jadelotus(Quote)
Thanks ozsoapbox… its all been quite a ride… and it seems that everyone had their 5c worth to mention…
Still not sure what the conclusion of all this is though… but there are winners and loosers in everything. not playing a martyr, but i will always hold strong to what i believe in.
what school are you talking about ausgeoff?? http://www.somerset.ac.uk is alive and well.
March 11th, 2011 at 12:46 pm jadelotus(Quote)
Also ausgeoff.. i mentioned it before… if you would like to meet face to face.. i can bring this info to your table.. and you can analyse it and post your findings on here if you like..
Whatever suits your fancy.. but i wont be scanning documents or anything of the sort, nor posting my student number or anything like that also… so sorry for that.. as for what you write.. i am not aware of credentialwatch or why i would read such a huge paper?
Let all this be.. as it is to be.. and thanks again ozsoapbox.. been quite a ride
also view http://www.somerset.gov.uk/irj/public/services/directory/service?rid=/guid/902b4bf5-0437-2c10-5f8a-a2df077686ed
March 11th, 2011 at 6:08 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Sorry to keep harping on this point Jade Lotus, but…
Uh… no it’s not Jade. The link you’ve provided is a link to the “real” Plymouth University, and not the bogus Somerset “university” that’s since been closed down by the UK government for churning out worthless mail-order PhDs etc. Your link actually directs us to the Somerset College of Arts and Technology which is a college of the University of Plymouth. Totally different entity altogether from the now discredited Somerset “university”. Sorry.
This is a link to the “original” Somerset “university” we’re talking about here:
http://somersetuniversity.org/
As you can see, their site is now effectively closed down too, apart from hosting advertising banners for other sites.
Well, if you weren’t “aware” of Credentialwatch you are now Jade Lotus. And the reason I’d like you to read such a “huge” paper (which it’s not really — it’s only 5 0r 6 screens’ worth!) is simply to formulate your response to their negative, first-hand criticisms — which in fact provide pretty damning evidence that Somerset “university” was nothing more than a diploma mill.
And I’m pressing this particular point simply because you have chosen to quote your PhD thesis several times in these blogs to substantiate the alleged science behind tantric massage. If you don’t in fact possess an accredited PhD, then your whole argument for the “science” of Tantra falls in a heap doesn’t it?
And finally, any true academic — with an academic’s naturally enquiring mind — would surely be more than happy to read a mere few screens of conflicting information about one of their theses wouldn’t they? If not; why not?
March 11th, 2011 at 11:18 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
I think a distinction needs to be made here between Somerset University and Somerset University Centres. The latter appears to be where Jade Lotus went and seems credible.
@Jade Lotus
Well I’m glad you enjoyed your ‘ride’. Meanwhile the blog rolls on, until the next precious throws a temper tantrum because someone criticising them is the greatest injustice the world has ever seen.
Then we get to repeat the entire process…
March 12th, 2011 at 1:12 am Bec(Quote)
So. Oz and I both agree that wheat biscuits from Aldi are sub standard.
As far as I am aware, nobody representing Aldi has entered into the discussion in order to defend their brand. To do so would be unprofessional. I don’t see how you and your business, jade lotus, are any different.
Don’t think anyone was questioning your strength, honey. Anyone that works in the sex industry would have to be strong; I don’t envy the amount of ridicule you and your friend Nat must face.
However, seeing as the original blog wasn’t aimed at you, I’m not sure why you felt you needed to jump in. I see it as completely unprofessional and, in my opinion, has discredited you.
Surely the discussion wouldn’t have escalated to this level if you had of just let it go. In any case, I think that you are the only one taking this whole thing seriously. Oh, sorry… that’s already been said five times, hey?
March 12th, 2011 at 1:14 am Bec(Quote)
Ps. Oz… think you got yourself a new, avid reader lol
March 12th, 2011 at 11:35 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Bec
No worries, welcome aboard!
March 13th, 2011 at 12:16 pm kadir Karahan(Quote)
I want to lose my virginity!
March 13th, 2011 at 7:56 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Hey there my friend…
You might wanna try reading Miley Cyrus’s biography for a few pointers.
March 18th, 2011 at 5:02 pm iamhungry(Quote)
haha, i get it!!
March 24th, 2011 at 2:50 pm Trev(Quote)
Well well well….
What a read…
1 hour 25 mins…..
5 glasses Beam and coke
2 wees
Thanks for filling in my day..
Its now saved in my favs ill be back to follow up on any more tantrums etc….
Ciao
March 24th, 2011 at 3:48 pm seb(Quote)
i want to know how i get a job giving happy endings to woman???
March 24th, 2011 at 10:27 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Simple…
Give her the PIN of a couple of your credit cards.
March 30th, 2011 at 12:54 pm TIM(Quote)
Hey Bec. I think Nat can help you out with milk for your Weet-Bix. MMMmmmm prostate milk!
Hold the sugar and savour the flavour.
April 3rd, 2011 at 10:42 pm Jons(Quote)
I started out this evening by looking at how to access Usenet. Then somehow drifted much time reading about the pony express, and the building of America’s transcontinental railway, than as more time passed I ended up here, still no wiser about Usenet.
God I hate the interwebs.
April 4th, 2011 at 12:32 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Jons
Uh, usenet + ponies + railways + happy ending massages…?
…
Surely a google search on ‘ponies getting happy ending massages on american trains’ would have been much more efficient than trying to work out how to access Usenet to find such information?
.
April 6th, 2011 at 5:00 pm ozdavid(Quote)
I am a lover of TANTRA. So are many other people. I think STING, the singer is a popular advocate, talks about it in nearly all his interviews. and it was in the movies “American Pie”, remember the MILF mum, was practicing Tantra, the young dude found the Book and started learning it too. Part 2. he said “How do you do the thing that you do so well” and “Meet the fockers”, Barbara Streisand teaches it to her students.
As well as in “Sex and The City”! its popular culture now. Not just pseudoscience. Its fantastic. I like it. you dont have to! your loss! my gain!
BEC. seems that jade has alot of people who like her and her work whatever it may be. But she started off with defending NATALIE and all Natalie did was enjoy the fact that the attention was taken off her. lots of negative comments directed to her. She didnt even help out with JADE. What a Cow.
Ausgeoff… probably the only right thing you wrote on this website. I dont think you call them happy ending massages for women. I think its called something else, but not sure here. Maybe Natalie will know.
If you milk a prostate what do you do to a vagina?
April 7th, 2011 at 11:38 am TIM(Quote)
Ozdavid wow you really blew me away with your scientific backing of tantra. Sting, American Pie, Meet the Fockers and Sex in the City. What was i thinking!
If Barbara Streisand teaches it in Meet the Fockers it must be real science! She’s milked a few prostates in her time.
April 7th, 2011 at 12:38 pm seb(Quote)
so what your saying is, ive been giving woman happy endings for over 6 years since my girlfriend has been using my credit card for that long.
the problem is i dont enjoy this so was hoping to find out how i could enjoy it too?
April 7th, 2011 at 6:06 pm ozdavid(Quote)
I never ıntended to gıve a scıentıfıc backıng! i was mentıonıng ıt ın POP culture.
Tantra is something that comes from a religious point of view. The Hindu’s and Buddhists philosophies. Its not scientific. ?? Its a lifestyle for many. WHo said i was giving a scientific backing.. DUH!
Exactly. Happy endings are usually a one way experience. The best option is to get your girlfriend to give you HER credit card and live happily ever after
April 7th, 2011 at 6:44 pm Caffeinated SentryGnome(Quote)
no seb, it just makes it easier to grovel after you enjoyed a night out with your mates.
April 8th, 2011 at 12:58 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Hey there ozdavid…..
This contradicts what you stated quite clearly in your earlier posting:
Sorry mate; you simply can’t have it both ways. It’s either “science” or it’s “pseudo” – science.
And now you’re implying that because Tantric sex has entered the “pop” culture (whatever that is precisely?) it’s now an accepted scientific modality that should be accepted and practised unequivocally by every male out there who needs/wants a great sex life?
And your assertion that Sting (Gordon Sumner) practices Tantric sex was simply a misinterpretation started by some moronic UK journalist. I quote from the UK’s Sunday Times journalist Richard Brooks in April 2004:
“Everyone(?) knows that Sting practises epic bouts of Tantric sex with his wife Trudie Styler because they have often boasted about it.
But it seems there has been some mistake. What he really meant was “frantic” sex.
In an interview to be broadcast on BBC1, Sting confesses that the whole story of how he used yoga to achieve prolonged states of ecstasy has been “a joke”.
Asked if he knew what Tantric sex was, Sting replied: “I haven’t a clue.”
This leads me to the belief that you’ve never actually seen Sting interviewed. But, like all the other gullible folks out there, you blithely accept anything and everything you read in the media.
Maybe you need to do some real research on Tantric sex before making any more totally unfounded assertions?
April 13th, 2011 at 7:39 am MARS(Quote)
Bec, I love the taste of Aldi’s foodstuff like its Weet bix brand and pretty much most of the franchise’s foodstuff. What’s more I get three times as much in the trolley for my wallet than expensive Coles, Safeway or Woolworths.
@Adrian, ausGeoff and ozsoapbox, I studied non-sexual Tantra. You three Stooges know nothing about Tantra. I’ve been to Jade Lotus Programs while studying the subject. And, for a sexual thrill I get my erotic happy endings elsewhere in the countryside.
After reading this blog right through, you male nancies only see the word ‘Tantra’ but not its meaning.
April 13th, 2011 at 8:22 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Sorry MARS…
I see the word “tantra” and I see $$$$$$$$…
Money for jam. Well, for semen in this case hehe.
I’m also guessing by the tone of your response you’d be better suited with a user name like Uranus LOL.
April 14th, 2011 at 9:50 am seb(Quote)
so, has anyone been to seen prostate nat since??
id be interested to give her a go but im not paying $200+ as thats a bit extreme. just wish you could get a happy ending at a reasonable rate!
April 16th, 2011 at 9:48 am Liv(Quote)
Well, I found this page after trying to find out how many kj are in a Koko Black hot chocolate!
Did skim through this (as I am getting ready for a hot choc hit) but has opened my eyes to another side of Melbourne. That being said this eastern suburbs girl did have an interesting experience when I went for a massage at a place in Whitehorse Rd Balwayn, near the Balwyn Cinema.
Can’t remember the name. Thought I imagined it when the ladies’ hand went where it shouldn’t go but my fears were confirmed when a male friend said he was offered a happy ending after his massage!
I think ew but there ya go boys, knock yourselves out!
April 16th, 2011 at 5:09 pm SinMiedo(Quote)
Bahahahaha!
OzSoapbox! You have earned yourself a new member. I was looking for a happy ending and this blog has been better than a stranger tugging my tugger!
Kudos to Adrian AusGeoff and OzSoapbox for your comments. Although I have the feeling that while jade lotus has accused many of not understanding Tantric I’m not sure if they have made the same effort as you to learn about WebBlogs …. LoL
Keep it up OzSoapbox!
April 16th, 2011 at 11:14 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
No worries, glad you enjoyed the read!
April 18th, 2011 at 7:53 pm natalie_is_a_fraud(Quote)
hey guys,
just thought everyone should know about this “prostate natalie”. she is by far the worst $200 i have spent on anyone…this includes the $20 asian food i once had which gave me the worst case of food poisoning ever!!!
i called her over to my place, and when she came over i was “HORRIFIED” to see how scary she looked.
she clearly was crazy with a LOT of issues.
Feeling sorry for her and her travel, i proceeded with the service. she asked me if she could use the washroom- after the average service, when i went in to use my washroom, i noticed she used my razor!!! she even stole some of my skin care products !!! BE CAREFUL OF HER!!!
(Ozedit: I’ve removed references of Natalie being a drug addict as I don’t really think that’s a fair call)
April 19th, 2011 at 12:04 am Adrian(Quote)
Thanks Liv, I think you went to Contours next to Balwyn Cinema. They do a infra red
sauna as well.
Well over priced from what I remember ( went there @ 2006) about $70
for 45 mins and then extras were charged.
And what happened with your experience? did you speak up when the massage turned nasty or did you lie back and take it like a man?
April 21st, 2011 at 11:51 am Sam(Quote)
Gentlemen meet Miss Natalie & stay away if you know what’s good for you – she’s not what she says. scam artist.
April 21st, 2011 at 10:15 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
And in case anybody’s wondering what “Miss Natalie” currenty looks like:
http://natalie1972.typepad.com/.a/6a010536186854970b014e5fadb28e970c-500wi
She describes herself as a “clear-skinned”, 30+ year-old and a cross between “Lucille Ball” and “Bette Midler”.
Uh… not as far as I can see. Sorry Miss N.
April 21st, 2011 at 10:44 pm Adrian(Quote)
Feeling a bit of empathy for Nat recently. I mean the trooper’s been up to her knuckle in all manner of scary, hairy and smelly rectum for over three years.
It’s obviously affected her mentally.
April 22nd, 2011 at 3:39 pm shane(Quote)
Are u all like real ppl? funniest crap I’ve ever stumbled on the wunnerful world of wankers.
lawls
April 22nd, 2011 at 4:14 pm shane(Quote)
Just to clarify, I was actually trying to find a reason why our illustrious/useless PM talks so goddamn boganish and boring, how the hell I got here I’ll never know.
I’ve never paid for any kinda sex, I’m not that rich + I reckon it might be a better deal with a chik I actually like and can convo with.
Like, am I missing something here.
April 22nd, 2011 at 10:49 pm Adrian(Quote)
She has really big cans but waddles when she walks.
I can’t go past former NSW leader Christina Kennealy. Was it just me or was she one sexy pollie?
April 22nd, 2011 at 11:42 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Ah yes…
http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2011/02/22/1226010/021358-premier-kristina-keneally.jpg
Very much the MILF.
April 28th, 2011 at 10:07 pm Sunshinewaterboy(Quote)
frikkin’ hilarious set of posts. better than reality tv.
May 2nd, 2011 at 9:19 pm ray(Quote)
Thank you ozsoapbox, AusGeoff and Adrian for sparing me the humiliation and the shame of unknowingly making a reservation at a brothel posing as a legitimate new age sexual healing center.
It seems Jade Lotus Tantra Massage has been, forgive me for saying, pulling our dicks all along.
Peace.
May 4th, 2011 at 12:49 am Rain(Quote)
Awesome stuff! To add to the list of random visitors, I got here by googling “best way to get from footscray to deakin uni”. No kidding
And, 1 hr later, I’ve finished reading all of the comments and I must say I feel a little bit sad it’s over!
But thanks again for all the info. As a researcher, I couldn’t stop myself checking out all the references, the abstracts, the business sites, the photos….I now know pretty much everything about “rub & tug”. I didn’t even know what a happy ending massage was (ok, ok, not hard to guess, but seriously-hadn’t even heard about it).
My highlights:
* 2 goddesses at the same time – now that’s enticing
* OzSoapBox to investigate happy endings for women-Does the Australian Research Council offer grants for that type of research, I wonder???
* Adrian’s “digital dame of downtown delight”. I enjoyed that very much.
And thanks, Adrian, AusGeoff and OzSoapBox for using spellchecker and correct punctuation in your posts as well as writing them in such a witty and well argued way (“verifiable references”??? You are Awesome).
Now I just want you all to be some really famous journalists whose day jobs are with The Age or The Australian but at night enjoy online debates about happy endings
May 4th, 2011 at 1:37 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Hey there Rain; this is so funny…
I shudder to imagine what other bizarre sites one would find by typing in other suburb and university name combos LOL. Must give it a try.
May 4th, 2011 at 12:49 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Rain
Lol as amusing as that would be, sorry to dissapoint you on at least my end
.
Glad you enjoyed the read.
May 9th, 2011 at 8:15 pm Victim_of_Natalie(Quote)
Hi guys,
I feel necessity to share with you my bad experience. I came of curiosity, being intrigued by the active advertisement. I had never previously tried prostate massage. I got an appointment with Natalie on this Easter Monday. I paid $350 in cash for an hour and a half.
I won’t comment how does she look, etc. It is not fair. Just the facts. I was not offered any possibility to take a shower or even to visit a toilet (!). Obviously the time was unlucky for her. She was extremely tense, and left me a few times.
In half an hour she asked me TO LEAVE. She said it is her fault, and asked me to come in three days directly to her place at some exactly set time for another session which I will certainly enjoy. My body was in her oil, but I still had not got a shower.
I came at the exact time. The door was closed. In 20 minutes I succeeded to get her attention. Natalie opened the door and could not recognize me. Than she recalled the story and said that she had forgotten about the appointment. The conversation was weird and I left.
Then I sent her email, recalling the story, and not expecting much. I got her message with apologies, and she set me another appointment in a week, promising that this time I’ll be for sure satisfied, and asking me to call her that very day in the morning to assure that I am coming. By the way her messages were very emphatic, that is why I believed her.
Next week I indeed called her. After my few attempts she at last answered the call. She said, sorry, this is my birthday, and today I do not work (!). Already a week passed, so-far no more apologies and invitations.
Together with the cab the whole story costed me about $400 and a lot of nerves and time.
Beware, you are warned.
May 10th, 2011 at 2:36 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
Hmm, definitely sounds like something is up there.
Not sure what it is but maintaining that level of ‘customer service’ in the longrun isn’t likely to do you any favours.
May 10th, 2011 at 12:36 pm Adrian(Quote)
Very strange tale. Why didn’t you ask for partial refund?
$350 for 90 mins and she pulls out after 30 would warrant some sort of negotiation. And as for her looks why not
comment?
To be fair, if you’re charging a decent dollar for this sort of service, looks are a big part of it.
May 11th, 2011 at 4:56 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Agree totally.
Which was part of the reason that I posted a link to an image of Miss Natalie, above (22 April 11). For those sorts of big bucks, she should be an absolute stunner.
May 11th, 2011 at 5:07 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Whoops, wrong post reference… obviously LOL.
Should’ve been to the previous day 21 April. No way that Miss Natalie could ever be mistaken for a MILF.
May 11th, 2011 at 2:25 pm Natalie(Quote)
Approx 2 months ago I decided to stop contributing to this SO WHERE CAN I GET A HAPPY ENDING MASSAGE thread due to the ever increasing amount of malicious bulltish published about myself and /or about my services coming from allegedly Wronged Unhappy Clients of mine.
ANYWAY I have chosen to particpate today because an ex-client of mine has published a grievance regardingt my services that deserves a response.
NOW REGARDING THIS GRIEVANCE – -
On a first reading the grievance appears to be a fair, balanced and truthful account of this individuals experience. The problem rests with the important mitigating factors that have been totally ignored as if they did not and do not exist.
Ever heard the axiom, there’s always 2 sides to every story ??
Calling a spade a spade this gentleman is correct when he suggests that the appointment was a complete failure, the point we disagree on here is just who is responsibile and why are they responsible.
In my opinion this unhappy ex-client of mine must and shoulder shoulder responsibility despite his many protestations to the contrary. From my perspective this failure occured primarily because of his complete inability to speak and understand the English language.
There is no gentle way of saying this, but this situation happened because but this individual could not understand very simple questions nor could he follow easy as pie requests that make the Prostate Milking Experience everything my website claims it can be.
If feeling utterly frustrated with a Complete Non English Speaking Client is a crime then I am guilty because utterly frustrated I surely was. Never have I even come close to such a complete breakdown in communication. As to the things I did or did not offer this client I simply do not recall, I was too busy trying to avert a complete total communication breakdown.
FINALLY failure was set in stone with and when the client arrived for the appointment in severe physical pain from his recently operated on hip joint – which meant it was painful and difficult to move and manipulate his body as required.
REGARDING THE FAILED COMPLIMENTARY (MAKE UP) APPOINTMENT, another failure because an unnamed individual failed to call and confirm the appointment on the morning of the appointment on the morning of the appointment – (these instructions were in writing and in the email he received making the offer to him) His call went unanswered apparently because he ignored the instructions to call from a telephone with Caller Identification because as my website says – - I Do Not Answer Private Calling Telephone Numbers. Instead he just arrived completely unannounced, wrong door, wrong day and wrong time and to make things just that little bit worse, on my birthday of all possible days.
The next communication I was expecting was a request for an alternative appointment in lieu of yet as I read my emails yesterday I discover this grievance on this blog.
Definition of Irony, where one cannot speak a word of English but can write a complaint better than a newsroom full of journo’s at The Age.
May 11th, 2011 at 3:37 pm seb(Quote)
hi nat, it seems that every person on here has had a bad experience with you. if its true or not is another question.
i think you should either give someone on here a free 90 minute experience so one of us can honestly and without biase review your services once and for all.
i am more than happy to donate my time and body to you, to finally get a true review and finally end this amazinf, interesting blog.
May 11th, 2011 at 4:23 pm Victim_of_Natalie(Quote)
A lot of lies, I should note. As for my English, you can judge yourself. As for my physical condition – I can easily pass the ranger test at any given moment. And I have never passed any surgery, not speaking about “severe physical pain from his recently operated on hip joint”. I run 10 kilometers in less than 40 minutes.
All what I have written is a perfect truth. And everything is presented with great restraint.
I have deliberately reduced the subject to your reliability and financial matters. Don’t provoke me, Natalie. I can add a lot on YOUR physical condition, why you have forgotten about the second appointment, and what exactly made you nervous during the unlucky session.
Obviously, you underestimate my understanding of your speech.
May 11th, 2011 at 4:49 pm Victim_of_Natalie(Quote)
$350 for 90 mins and she pulls out after 30 would warrant some sort of negotiation. And as for her looks why not
comment? ”
When she made me leave, I was in shock. Only afterwards I checked the clock. It was absolutely clear for me that there will be no refunding. Also now she does not suggest it.
As for her looks – well, I have seen her image before the meeting. I still feel that it would be not fair to comment on her physical appearance. My superstitions.
May 11th, 2011 at 6:02 pm Natalie(Quote)
You are welcome to your opinions as am I, having said that the one constant I vividly recall (from our time together) is your ongoing reiteration to me on how you can read and write near perfect English but as to understanding and speaking the English language that is an entirely other matter indeed.
Honestly that is not only perfectly okay but also quite understandable given that English would be presumably be a second language for you.
Right or wrong, good or bad I am not willing to pursue this matter with you any further on this blog and if there are any potential clients out there reading this and thinking it is reflective and atypical of the relaxation services I regularly offer, I would suggest you take the surest and safest path of them all and visit an alternative service provider.
May 11th, 2011 at 11:02 pm Victim_of_Natalie(Quote)
Hi Natalie,
I have never questioned your skills, for I had no chance to check them. I hope that you have found a good application for my money. Buy something nice for your son.
May 12th, 2011 at 12:05 am JustLooking(Quote)
If you milk a prostate what do you do to a vagina?
Fuck it!
Some gold in here, not the happy ending I was looking for but enhoyable all the same cheers, JustLooking
May 12th, 2011 at 2:48 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Justlooking
are you suggesting my prostate is somehow the equivalent of a vagina?! I THINK NOT!
My prostate’s so manly it has its own set of balls.
May 12th, 2011 at 9:56 pm Adrian(Quote)
There’s Nat’s version and the client’s version and what really happened will always be a mystery.
But, I want to know about the showering issue. Surely a pre-shower would be mandatory.
Even if a client was adamant they had just come from a colonic irrigation clinic, Nat, wouldn’t you insist on a good wash of the date before you start with the milkage?
May 13th, 2011 at 2:59 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
What the hell’s a colon irrigation clinic and why do they exist?!
(I’m too scared to even think about googling it).
May 13th, 2011 at 3:55 pm seb(Quote)
you would hope that not only can you have a shower, but make sure natalies washed as well as her finger nails trimmed as i couldnt imagine a worse thing than getting your anus scratched to the shit!
May 13th, 2011 at 4:18 pm Adrian(Quote)
That’s where you get a tube inserted into your freckle and warm water is then fed in to wash out your chute.
You allow as much water as is comfortable and then push out in much the same way as you would push out
a Polly waffle and the process repeats itself over and over for about 45 minutes.
There’s even a clear PVC pipe where you can watch your product as it goes down the drain! Apologies
to anyone eating.
So, afterwards your plumbing will pretty as a picture.
May 14th, 2011 at 7:18 pm Victim_of_Natalie(Quote)
“There’s Nat’s version and the client’s version and what really happened will always be a mystery.” – I understand your doubts.
Pay attention to what Natalie has not questioned, and take it for sure (no shower, no toilet, 30 minutes instead of 90, $350, additional appointments which failed). Following is just some attempt of her version interpretation.
I reckon actually she does not lie. She just DOESN’T REMEMBER. I think that each next day she does not remember much on the previous. That explains all this. Her memory is a total mess, and she invents a story to explain everything also to herself.
For example, she merged factual two failed additional appointments, with a week between them, into one. I suppose that she indeed had a client with a hip problem, probably some other day. Etc.
And I indeed have problems with understanding her speech. My TV set is turned on now, and I understand it well, but her accent is difficult for me, as well the flow of her thoughts. One may assume it to be not so important for this kind of activity …
Only for the first appointment I arrived (to the RIGHT back door, but only after me knocking the WRONG frontal door she responded). With a second false appointment, which was a week later, I had only made a telephone call. And heard from her that it was her birthday. She said that she does not work on her birthday, and the next day she doesn’t work as well. It means that she herself set an appointment on her birthday! Than I gave up.
Actually everything is well documented in my emails with dates, addresses and times, but I think it is already clear enough.
I feel like for my own money I have been f**d in my butt!
May 14th, 2011 at 7:22 pm Victim_of_Natalie(Quote)
“Only for the first appointment I arrived” – I meant the first additional appointment.
May 14th, 2011 at 8:13 pm Adrian(Quote)
If you are still looking, try the ‘International sex guide’ google it, there’s a Melbourne section with endless
posts by ‘Mongerers’ detailing experiences, reviews, prices, services etc.
Hopefully, by doing a little research you won’t find yourself in an unpleasant transaction again.
May 14th, 2011 at 9:06 pm Adrian(Quote)
The Sex guide posters use a lot of abbreviations
here a some explained:
BBBJ. Bareback Blowjob ( no condom)
CBJ. Covered Blowjob ( condom )
CIM. Cum in mouth
COF. Cum on face
COT. Cum on tits
DATY. Dining at the Y. Giving her oral
GFE. Girlfriend Experience. Very affectionate service
PSE. Porn Star Experience. Lots of moaning. Dirty talk , positions etc
Spanish. Tit fucking ( sorry but there’s no other way to put it (( that’s what she said!))
AMP. Asian massage parlour
that’s all for my young apprentice go now and use the force
May 15th, 2011 at 12:40 am Victim_of_Natalie(Quote)
Thanks
May 15th, 2011 at 4:06 pm Andrew(Quote)
Ummm…err, read the whole thing. Still don’t know where to get a happy ending in Melbourne.
May 18th, 2011 at 8:24 am Adrian(Quote)
Hi Andrew, very gNatty like comment.
The very first comment from Melbjoe gives a recommendation and also link to a establishment. In my first post, I mentioned the adds in the local papers as well as the Herald Sun health section. Later I mentioned websites, Adoos, Locanto and Cracker.Also, there is my recent post suggesting the International Sex Guide. How much more direction do you require?
Come back with a clever post and I will be more than happy to tell you where to go
May 19th, 2011 at 6:18 pm felix(Quote)
Sexual services for cash don’t make someone classy as I saw either Natalie or Jade mention, and being old doesn’t make you hot. Both of them should’ve just left it if it really offended them that badly.
This is a blog, and these are comments where people post their personal opinions, it won’t ever be closed because this ISN’T A FORUM OR THREAD.
June 9th, 2011 at 7:44 pm shaka(Quote)
I would like to visit Miss Natalie place where can I find her
June 9th, 2011 at 10:51 pm Adrian(Quote)
Just google ‘prostate massage’
But before you do maybe seek some guidance
in your life because you quite clearly are an imbecile
June 11th, 2011 at 8:18 pm RejectRonnie(Quote)
What a laugh this is! The Natalie sockpuppets are hilarious, but I do feel sorry for her. I get the impression that, despite protests to the contrary by herself and jade, that she’s as sad, abused, messed up, and stuck in her situation as many other women in this type of work.
I got here searching for a massage course in Melbourne. I’m not so sure I want to be involved in the industry any more!! Will I get dudes turning up expecting happy endings? Will women think I’m like young Seb here, just trying to get a grope of their sensitive bits? I actually just want to help, sports and remedial massage for me!
Thanks to Adrian, AusGeoff, OzSoapBox, and BEC for asking the pertinent questions. The evasion tactics, martyrdom, attempted use of the misogynist / feminist card was hilarious. FRAUDS!
June 18th, 2011 at 8:37 pm Girl(Quote)
Uh. Guys. Virtually every brothel or bordello in Melbourne, or indeed, anywhere, offers girls who perform happy ending massages.
June 19th, 2011 at 6:40 pm Adrian(Quote)
Wow, they offer sexual services at brothels?
Thank goodness for your extraordinary insight.
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:42 am Lee(Quote)
Remember the criticism of whozadog on this website-OSB=Now it looks like it is performing the same function.
Natalie simply contact the owner of the web and ask them to remove this blog.It is that simple. Do not waste time and energy hitting back/Sex industry-deceptive people -what do you expect?
June 23rd, 2011 at 11:45 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
Whozadog allowed users to pick on random individuals. Natalie is offering a paid for and advertised service.
There’s nothing wrong with reviewing a business, even if that business is a sole trader.
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:25 pm Craig(Quote)
Where do I go to get a prostate milking Natalie ? Keen to give it a try
June 23rd, 2011 at 7:00 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Uh… no, it doesn’t work this way, and it’s not that “simple”…
This is a private and personal blog run by Oz, and if anybody (such as Natalie) subsequently and voluntarily divulges information about herself or her services, than that was her choice at the time.
Obviously, “Whozadog” was in serious breaches of several mandated privacy statutes and was in a totally different category, with the sole purpose of making defamatory public comments about private individuals. Straw man argument there.
Miss Natalie (and Jade Lotus) are operating registered businesses which provide services for consumers, and are therefore quite legitimately subject to public review and criticism — either favourable, or unfavourable. All businesses are thus fair targets for public comment, and if they happen to be singled out for negative criticism, so be it — in a free and open marketplace.
Also, it’s totally out of order to suggest that Natalie contact the “owner of the web” — what does that mean anyway? The owner of Oz’s server? Nobody “owns” the web — which indicates your limited understanding of how this all works.
Oz is merely running a “platform” — well, a soapbox LOL — where we (anybody) can express their views. And as long as those views don’t contravene any of the various government statutes, then no web host is even going to think of taking a site down. You’re dreaming.
I’d suggest you might like to have a cup of tea and a nice lie down Lee. It may just help clarify your misguided perceptions of this whole Miss Natalie scenario.
June 23rd, 2011 at 7:06 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Well this posting is an AMAZING coincidence isn’t it…
Where did you suddenly pop up from “Craig” — with your conveniently timed and none-too-subtly disguised defensive posting? Hmmm…
Obviously “Lee” = “Craig”. Bit obvious really LOL.
June 24th, 2011 at 7:41 am MassageLover(Quote)
Natalie, can you please help me find someone who needs ‘G-Spot’ massage?
June 25th, 2011 at 1:02 pm Jeebers(Quote)
Holding it in is like getting super drunk, then holding in the vomit.
June 28th, 2011 at 6:41 pm Mike(Quote)
Having experienced Natalie while in Melbourne last year, I can openly and honestly say those that either don’t know what a prostate massage is, or haven’t experienced it (with or without Natalie leading the way) have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.
I found her services in the area of prostate massage to be very good.
June 30th, 2011 at 6:14 pm McJules(Quote)
God! You blokes are bent….
June 30th, 2011 at 9:35 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Well, maybe some of the time, but that’s not the case during the prostate milking LOL.
June 30th, 2011 at 11:46 pm Caffeinated SentryGnome(Quote)
you end up in hospital getting your stomach pumped?
July 1st, 2011 at 12:34 pm Adrian(Quote)
As far as being bent, well of course if the hat fits.
And in regard to injaculation, holding it in so to speak, is that akin to self insemination?
July 9th, 2011 at 5:44 pm john(Quote)
I saw miss natalie, it was a waste of money
July 10th, 2011 at 10:33 am Adrian(Quote)
There are some stunning professional ladies who also do prostate massage for similar or less than Natalie just check escort websites.
I have no sympathy for anyone who uses gnat’s service AFTER having read these posts
July 12th, 2011 at 10:16 pm Into Asians(Quote)
Guys
I found a great massage place that ‘does’ give happy endings for a good price in Footscray. It’s across the road from Footscray Library on Paisley Street the place is clearly marked ‘ASIAN MASSAGE’. Highly recommended.
July 16th, 2011 at 12:01 pm Adam(Quote)
Heya,
This one might be a bit out of the way but if you’re ever in Cairns check out Heavenly Hands. I had a massage with her late one weeknight (appointment was organised just after midnight) and it was by far the best erotic massage i’ve ever had.
Highly recommended if you’re ever up in Cairns. Sadly I was flying out the next day so I wasn’t able to see her again.
July 20th, 2011 at 12:47 pm Adrian(Quote)
Is there anyway we can delete the name of that Cairns business, it’s just going to get her in all sorts of trouble.
July 21st, 2011 at 12:27 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
How so?
July 21st, 2011 at 1:05 am Caffeinated SentryGnome(Quote)
cos its one of Adrian’s good ones?
July 21st, 2011 at 6:14 am Adrian(Quote)
Claiming a rebate from a health fund for a sexual service will get both parties in trouble.
July 23rd, 2011 at 1:37 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
In that case I guess I’ll remove the offending text. Not because I don’t believe it or disagree, but obviously because we can’t verify it and it’s questionably illegal (different to a review of service provided to you).
July 25th, 2011 at 10:32 pm Adrian(Quote)
When were you planning on deleting the business name?
July 26th, 2011 at 2:00 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
I thought the problem was claiming an accredited therapist was offering rebates on happy ending massages?
July 26th, 2011 at 3:59 pm Adrian(Quote)
Point taken
July 26th, 2011 at 4:40 pm H(Quote)
hello, how much do they charge and are the girls hot?
August 8th, 2011 at 10:50 pm Ella(Quote)
I actually have no idea how I got here but I couldn’t stop reading. Wow, some of these posts are very funny, but also a little gross!
I was planning on doing a tantra course at Jade Lotus but not now. No ‘goddess’ would ever become involved in defending her point of view in such a way.
If she was actually the spiritual person she presents herself to be then this kind of discussion would cause no reaction. I will learn tantra from someone who isn’t a prostitute disguised as something else.
If I found out my husband went to one of these rub & tug woman I would be so disgusted by him – yuk! I am definitely going to learn this prostate milking thing though
No way do I want my husband paying another ‘lady’ for any sort of sexual service.
I’m interested to know, are many of you guys that are paying woman for sex married? Am I just totally naive, do most married guys do this sort of stuff?
August 9th, 2011 at 12:49 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Ella
Uh, does he know that?
Please tell me he’s at least shown some sign of interest in prostate milking!
August 11th, 2011 at 9:10 pm Aussie1(Quote)
Thanks for laughs! This has been highly amusing!
I have read several of your articles here OZ and have enjoyed them all. This one takes the cake though!
August 14th, 2011 at 3:56 pm John(Quote)
I’ve been to see Natalie, gotta say it was without a doubt one of the worst ‘sexual’ experiences of my life. Not only is she hideously ugly but she is the biggest shit talker ive ever met.
The place stunk of stale weed, she was off her head (that could explain the shit talking), and did i mention the uglyness. Dont waste your money on this ‘lady’.
August 15th, 2011 at 9:23 am Natalie(Quote)
Does your forum breed these imbecilic young morons with there Poor Little Ole Me victim stories or what ?
This young 21 y.o.(if that) totally shaved headed bozo arrives for One Hour Prostate Milking appointment after he has confirmed he has read and seen the full website including my photographs.
From the very beginning all he did was flinch when I attempted to………… I have never seen a guy so goddam nervous……. so scared, I thought to myself why is he here ?
Anyway within 5 minutes he was up and dressed and out the door and G.O.N.E like a rat up a drainpipe after being told he was not getting half his money back, (wonder where he naively gets that idea from ) ( I wonder which out of touch forum let he believe this crap ?
And then I read this bullshit… As Nancy Wake once said, Shove your website where a monkey shoves his nuts.
August 15th, 2011 at 3:33 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
I can only commend you on the charming turns of phrase you’ve often used on this blog Miss Natalie… NOT!
It’s of note that you seem to have absolutely NO realistic concept of customer relations and/or how to at least promote your business in a positive light, so as to attract potential new clients. Why are you so focussed on continually bad-mouthing ex-clients?
Do you truly believe that by posting on blogs such as this—which are read by potentially thousands of local guys—that you’re doing yourself any favours? Even if you believe that you’ve been unfairly maligned here, wouldn’t the best response be… well… no response?
Additionally, isn’t it—in effect—a breach of client confidentiality (if such a concept exists in the sex industry?) to describe your “transaction” with this guy—even if he’s posting anonymously?
You’ve obviously got some sort of mental block regarding “young” blokes (you’ve mentioned this a couple of times) and I can’t rally see that his hair style should worry you one way or the other. Are all blokes with shaved heads “bozos”? What about those with pony tails? Or—god forbid—mullets!
I’m also guessing that you’ve not nearly as much experience in prostate massaging as you’ve repeatedly claimed. Of course most blokes will be nervous, particularly if it’s their first experience of this procedure; wouldn’t you?
As an older guy, who was into partner-applied prostate massage before you were even born sweetheart, all I’m seeing here is a woman who in actuality—and despite her vigorous claims to the contrary—is very poorly equipped both emotionally and professionally to be supplying these sorts of services in an relaxing, reassuring and comfortable environment.
And let’s face it: Regardless of what “professional” terminology you choose to describe what you do, ultimately you’re just another prostitute. Not—as Seinfeld famously pronounced—there’s anything wrong with that!
August 16th, 2011 at 3:27 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@Natalie
No, but you certainly seem to attract such clientele!
August 16th, 2011 at 11:24 am natalie(Quote)
Thanks blogger AusGeoff for your unsolicited assessment on my present day business running skills.
Has it ever occurred to you that I may not want any more new clients and that I may have a sufficient number of happy repeat clientele as things currently stand ? Well if this has not occurred to you, IT IS TIME THAT IT DID OCCUR TO YOU ! Now have I made myself abundantly clear this time ?
Now, call my responses whatever you choose but (in my eyes) I simply state the facts and set the record straight but I am human and therefore I apologize where I take things personally and perhaps go overboard, unfortunately my usually composed self falls down when someone falsely accuses and attacks like there is no tomorrow !
As to me utilizing the Silence and/or the No Comment option, I agree that sometimes silence is the best way to go. Having said that, when a particular post is so deliberately malicious, nasty and blatantly false, I reserve the right to set the record straight otherwise one may reasonably interpret any said silence as represent an admission of guilt on my part
as I have said before, (1) I DO NOT WANT ANY NEW PROSTATE MILKING CLIENTS WHOSE SOLE RESEARCH ON PROSTATE MILKING AND ANY SUBSEQUENT DECISION OF THEIRS IS TO TRY IS LIMITED TO WHAT THEY HAVE READ ABOUT IT ON THIS OZSOAPBOX BLOG)
For the record Googling just these two words, Prostate Milking there are 795,000 reasonably objective sources for one to determine if Prostate Milking is what one is looking for.
I’m sorry make that 795,001 when we include the relevancy of this here Ozsoapbox posting !
Also ausGeoff thanks for your guess about my level of Prostate Milking experience, unfortunately for you and anyone else that reads this post and chooses to believe you, once again your guess is wrong
Time to cease and desist and await the next usual suspects literary genius commentary NOT !
August 16th, 2011 at 12:50 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@natalie
Sooooo uh, why are you taking on new clients then? ‘John’ was a (recent?) new client was he not?
And for the record I’m more then happy for Natalie to rebut client’s testimonials here. I am however a little offended that she rates this blog lower than the couple of hundred thousand porn sites related to prostate milking that she claims are ‘reasonably objective sources‘.
August 16th, 2011 at 1:11 pm The MILK MAN(Quote)
WOW Looks like somebody is on their period!!!!!
August 16th, 2011 at 4:10 pm natalie(Quote)
So typical, so predictable and so expected !
I wonder what sort of Hairstyle this esteemed ozsoapbox blog contributor has ?
Your female partner (if you have one) would be ashamed of you right now ?
August 16th, 2011 at 4:44 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the anchorage behind this article is indeed my current hairstyle.
What the fuck planet are you living on Natalie?
August 16th, 2011 at 10:20 pm Yorg Eh(Quote)
So has anyone here had someone look over your shoulder while you check your email, and had one of these “So, where can I get a happy ending massage?” emails come through?! Embarrassing!
@Natalie – I get the sense you are almost enjoying this publicity (good or bad, doesn’t matter, right?).
I have to wonder… how long to you intend to keep working? I don’t want to insult you but it seems you’re not a young woman, and I wouldn’t think there are many ladies in the sex industry over 40. Do you plan on stopping soon? Do you have any other kind of work you are interested in?
Again, I don’t want to offend you but I actually feel sorry for you. It seems your ego has and will continue to endure a lot of attacks, both on account of this website and (it would seem) without it. To weather all of that, you have to be in a bit of denial and that is where you seem to be.
August 17th, 2011 at 12:32 am natalie(Quote)
Thank you for your comments, well thought out and well considered comments at that I might add.
I appreciate the fact that unlike many others your posting didn’t necessitate you initiating any direct or indirect character attacks, personal insults or any Ha Ha Ha (look everyone, look how funny I am) Cheap Shots / Laughs at my expense.
You further stand commended because you didn’t resort to plagiarizing lines from highly respected sitcoms in order to demonstrate to everyone just how clever you are, nor did you have to make reference to my menstrual cycle in order to prop up your post.
Finally a ozsoapbox contributor who knows how to make a point without making an enemy.
What a sea change !
August 17th, 2011 at 12:52 am ausGeoff(Quote)
You’re more than welcome Miss Natalie. I worked in the customer services industry (although not yours LOL) for many years, and I’m more than happy to share my expertise and offer you some well-considered opinions…
I only commented thusly because you obviously have several ongoing issues with being unable to accurately assess, attract and satisfy many of your target demographic — from an objective viewpoint. Purely as a businesswoman.
Unfortunately, this attitude has led to the downfall of many a small business. Compalcency with increasing your client database is an absolute no-no. Any business has to constantly seek new clientele in order to compensate for natural attrition, and it’s an error to assume that all your current repeat clients will continue to do so. It might be okay “currently”, but what about next year, or in 5 years’ time?
And you rise to the bait far too easily: As I said previously “Even if you believe that you’ve been unfairly maligned here, wouldn’t the best response be… well… no response?”
You’re simply banging your head against a brick wall repeatedly responding to negative comments on this blog. In fact, you’re digging yourself into an ever-deepening hole.
You need to focus your energies on your business, and not waste time defending yourself in an ongoing cyberspace flame-war. You run the risk of losing potential clients with all this negative exposure. Better to let it die a natural death.
August 17th, 2011 at 4:02 am natalie(Quote)
Ausgeoff not a single word of my last posting/response has penetrated you it would seem.
If you would just re-read my last post you would see that this current post of yours is really kind of like a real rehashing and regurgitation of everything I have previously responded to.
Let me make a few things clearer – I have no interest in receiving any of your business advice, (as the saying goes. if it was any good you would not be giving it away).
I have no interest in any of your talked about but never actually seen well considered opinions.
I refute your suggestion I unable to satisfy many of my target demographic – I could not have lasted for 4 plus years if I did have such a lousy and unsatisfying personal service.
I have already answered why sometimes silence is NOT the best option so rather than my repeating myself, may I suggest you re-read it again esp if you are really interested in my reasonings.
August 17th, 2011 at 4:32 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Oh dear…
And this is exactly why you have dissatisfied ex-clients complaining here! You’re apparently unaware of the old business adage “A satisfied customer tells 3 people; a dissatisfied customer tells TEN people”.
And I had to laugh at this grandiose claim…
Wow! A WHOLE four years! I’m retired now, but I was self-employed over a forty-year period starting in 1964. I’d suggest therefore that I possess vastly more business acumen than you think you have. And you’d be well advised to listen—at least occasionally— to those that know better.
I also find it somewhat amusing that you speak about your “profession” as though it’s a… well… a profession. You’re a fucking prostitute for Pete’s sake! It’s not as though you need a university degree to do the job you’re doing. And I’m sure if you did have the brainpower to get a degree (which I seriously doubt) then you certainly wouldn’t be choosing to “entertain” every bloke that wanders in from the street desperate to get his rocks off.
August 17th, 2011 at 6:04 pm JeezLoueez(Quote)
Natalie, you are a special piece of work. You are a definitely a prostitute that’s a no brainer, please don’t sugar coat what you do as a profession, it’s not, people pay you to get off. That’s prostitution. Milking or no milking.
Please go away.
August 18th, 2011 at 11:45 pm Bec(Quote)
Wow. Natalie. You need to buil.d a bridge. This discussion is so old….you’re embarrassing yourself.
August 19th, 2011 at 9:56 am omg...(Quote)
WOW Nat,
ausGeoff , gave some Very good advice in my opinion,
I have been self employed for 6 yrs, and what he says speakes volumes of common sence,
I Have read most of this blog and trying to keep an open mind,
I was planing on booking a visit with you to find out for my self,
But as you are taking no more new clients, and after reading your reply to ausGeaoff….I think i have been convinced that you are not worth the effort…
August 19th, 2011 at 10:56 am Liz(Quote)
Haha … was just looking for a “normal massage” in Melbourne and found this … ahhh …
You will all like this video. Check it out:
August 19th, 2011 at 1:46 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
LOL ^
“You happy now?”
August 24th, 2011 at 12:59 pm Robert(Quote)
I saw Miss Natalie about a year ago, and wow…what a disappointment she was! Her massage “centre”, which is her spare bedroom was a pigsty and she lives disgusting.
Nevertheless, I tried her out, and it was too short and unsatisfying. She went out of the room after I shot my load to get high, and came back all drug fucked.
August 24th, 2011 at 4:31 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Not surprising really…
Prostitution and the use of illicit drugs commonly go hand-in-hand… as it were!
September 4th, 2011 at 7:59 am upinsmoke7(Quote)
brilliant! natalie in this whole thread all you have demonstrated is that you can use big wrds to look learned, your obviously a very bad buisnesswoman and and equally bad prostitute!
you talk about how people on this site are making crude claims about you and your services and that the people here are just youngns who are looking for someone to have a go at.
the fact is all this stems from comments made in the initial posting, of how your services prices are extreme, and that you are, well lets be honest, not the nicest thing to look at in the room. both perfectly acceptable things to post on the INTERNET!
the rest was unsatisfied customers, bad work ethic, and unreliable service. and as for jade lotus tantra, fair enough there is some thereputical benifiets in things like tantric massage and new age hocum, but thats all it is. it is true in the last 10 years new age medicines and such ( like chinese herbal medicines) are becoming widely used and accepted as scientific but in truth the majority is not, like tantra and whatnot.
These people are thieves especially because theres no reason it should cost the amount it does, and as for miss natalie, by reading all these posts from ex clients, and hearing the words you choose to use in your posts, there almost no doubt in anyones mind you are a thoroughly unproffesionall “buisnesswoman” ( i use the term loosely) who needs to really think about wether bieng a “buisness owner” ( again loosely) is the right avenue.
September 4th, 2011 at 10:09 pm Caffeinated SentryGnome(Quote)
A wise man once said ‘arguing with fools will only make you look like a fool to those who are watching.’
September 20th, 2011 at 1:47 pm Chantelle Lee(Quote)
I am a freelance journalist wanting to talk to a man who has visited prostitutes, preferably Asian. This is for a radio documentary but you will not be named and your voice can be altered for privacy.
The piece hopes to uncover if you could tell whether the prostitute was trafficked or not; and would it have mattered or stopped you from proceeding. This isn’t about judgement, I just need a truthful response.
If anyone is willing to provide me with one please contact me for comment.
September 20th, 2011 at 4:45 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
It’s a truly brave man you seek here Chantelle.
I wouldn’t be hoping for a flood of raised hands, but I’ll wish you well.
—Cheers.
September 22nd, 2011 at 9:03 am jay(Quote)
i went to tantra massage last week..IN 230 TOORAK ROAD IN SOUTH YARRA ( MELBOURNE, VIC)
I WAS WITH GIRL WITH CANADIAN ACCENT. WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY, I WAS SO UPSET ABOUT MYSELF OF SPENDING 250 DOLLARS FOR SOME BULL SHIT, BREATH IN AND BREATH OUT, POURING OIL ALL MY BODY, SOME STUPID HAND MOVEMENTS IN THE AIR
THE GIRL KEPT SAYING BREATH IN BREATH OUT
IT IS CON!!!!!! BIG TIME!!!!!!
THEY PRETEND THEY ARE SOMETHING AND SPECIAL IT’S LESS THAN ORDINARY HAPPY ENDING MASSAGE SHOP, ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THEY CHARGE YOU TRIPLE
FU-K THE PHD AND RESEARCH STUFF!!!
I WAS OUT IN 40 MINUTES INCLUDING SHOWER!!
230 TOORAK ROAD IN SOUTH YARRA JADE LOTUS TANTRA MASSAGE
DO NOT GO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 22nd, 2011 at 5:26 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Ah… yet another “satisfied” customer of Jade Lotus!
I’m guessing that part of the problem re overpricing is that they’re right in the heart of Toorak Road, and that they’re catering to the “new-age” yuppies that live in Toorak and South Yarra and actually believe in all this “touchy-feely” spiritual sexual stuff.
I’m concerned that you were ripped off by these people; $250 for a 40-minute service is outrageous! I’m not sure if it’d be worth it to lodge a formal complaint with CAV (Consumer Affairs Victoria) at this site [http://mcaf.ee/n7dwo] or whether it’s not worth the hassle.
Your complaint would be based on the fact that the service provided was not as described and/or implied in their promotional materials and/or advertising.
A brothel also has to comply with the Sex Work Act 1994 and the Sex Work Regulations 2006 and several other laws which cover public health etc.
If you think a brothel is operating below par, you can also phone the CAV hotline at 1300 764 671.
—Cheers.
September 23rd, 2011 at 2:24 am Afghanistan(Quote)
I went as a virgin to afghanistan and came back as virgin but now i went to Thailand lol. im not a virgin.
Finally not a virgin. I am so damn proud of myself. Happy endings are the norm in thailand.
Damn australia is so prudish .
September 23rd, 2011 at 3:54 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Uh… y’know millions of people around the world have lost their virginity without having to have gone for a happy ending massage right…?
I’d start addressing those confidence issues if I was you!
September 23rd, 2011 at 7:48 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Sorry, but I have no idea of what this is meant to imply…
How old are you? Assuming you’re an adult, then doesn’t this claim make YOU the prude?
Uh… as distinct from normal sexual intercourse you mean LOL. How sad that the only way a Thia guy (ouch!) can get his rocks off is with a hand job—rather than the real thing. Then again, less than 10 per cent of Thai women have sex before marriage. How prudish is this?
Ha ha… this is so funny coming from someone who went overseas and couldn’t get any nooky!
You obviously have no idea of the average young Aussie male’s sexual propensity for losing their virginity around the age of 16 years. I can only assume you were a slow starter?
September 24th, 2011 at 12:59 pm Adrian(Quote)
C’mon you two give the poor guy a break.
It’s obvious he has some mental illness or issue. I mean, I can relate ……
Anyway, am on the outlook for ladies who can / enjoy tossing salad.
best regards and have pleasant weekend
September 27th, 2011 at 11:27 am Cellisimo(Quote)
Great blog!
Given that we’ve discussed bad experiences and who to avoid, what about some positive experiences/recommendations?
September 28th, 2011 at 5:20 pm Adrian(Quote)
In regard to recommending places to get a happy ending massage, what we are dealing with is the practice of a therapeutic masseuse or masseur giving a sexual release at the completion of the session, which is illegal.
So, how do you give a recommendation without every response being ‘where is it?’ ‘what’s the contact number?’
etc. hopefully you would not post identifiable details of a shop that provides this service ( as we are not talking about licensed brothels).
The best way I have found was what you have already read, that is, to point to the Leader classifieds, websites : Locanto, Cracker, Gumtree.
Try going through the posts on the International Sex Guide Melbourne. forum.
September 28th, 2011 at 5:26 pm Cellisimo(Quote)
Thanks Adrian.
I do know where you are coming from. I was thinking about ‘official’ hand relief places like Bodline Spa in Yarraville. To my knowledge, there is no sex there, just massage and hand relief…is that correct?
September 28th, 2011 at 10:03 pm Adrian(Quote)
Oddly I haven’t been to that one, must’ve missed it on my travels.
I don’t have any experience in licensed places which only offer hand relief.
I have only heard of one other in Melbourne, Badabings, I think it is around Collingwood. Again can’t comment as never been.
November 29th, 2011 at 12:50 pm Not Prostate Nat(Quote)
So FN funny just wanted to know if costco sells organic food???? then saw this on the side bar and had a read and couldnt stop! wow a great laugh while my son had his afternoon nap! now to be more productive
November 29th, 2011 at 10:43 pm Adrian(Quote)
I believe Costco’s organic food is deep fried.
I remember them opening and seeing people pushing oversized trolleys packed to the rafters with bulk rolls of toilet paper.
Maybe that Costco food makes you shit a lot.
November 29th, 2011 at 10:47 pm Adrian(Quote)
And on the subject of Natalie. I have been seeing very favourable reviewsof Veronica. A lady who operates from her apartment in Windsor and apparently tosses salad like nobodies business and then gives the sort of orgasm that Natalie quite often boasts about but apparently doesn’t deliver.
Check Auxxxreview for her contact details.
November 29th, 2011 at 10:50 pm Adrian(Quote)
Lastly on the subject of going to a licensed premises for a Rub and Tug. It’s kind of like going to a mechanic to put air in your tyres isn’t it?
December 8th, 2011 at 6:21 pm TaiwanTeacher(Quote)
Plumbing services can be rendered in Hualien for NT2K, including the preparatory adjustments.
December 8th, 2011 at 6:22 pm TaiwanTeacher(Quote)
Singing along to a Taiwanese tune is free of charge.
December 8th, 2011 at 8:05 pm Adrian(Quote)
Are you posting in the right thread Teach?
December 10th, 2011 at 6:41 pm Andy(Quote)
Hong-Kong and Thailand are one of the better places in Asia for Happy Endding massages. Taiwan sort of sucks for that as there aren’t many of these places around.
December 10th, 2011 at 8:06 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Thank for the LULZ…
Depends on one’s preferences I guess?
December 12th, 2011 at 8:53 am Mark(Quote)
Happy Endings?? Love them!! Can’t get enough!!
Was considering Natalie, but your forum has turned me off. I am not into drugged up prostatutes. I like my “experiences” to be of a pleasant nature
December 14th, 2011 at 7:04 pm QC(Quote)
Well, I am mighty impressed that Natalie herself declared this thread closed on the “forum” and then went on to post about 10 more well written and articulate responses..
- Note: I have not actually COUNTED her further responses and in no way do I claim this number to be scientifically correct. I can also provide no evidence of “well written” or “articulate”. I’m a bad researcher.
I am in cairns and almost booked a massage with the healing hands girl last week (before I read this blog). Quite glad I didn’t though.
Although I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a happy ending (and thats actually what I was searching for on the inter webs – not Aldi foodstuffs) I would kind of like it to come from the bloke (cause I’m a girl) who does my regular miserable ending massage… (well, what else should it be called if its not a happy ending? Maybe its a mediocre ending. I just don’t know.)
Thanks OzSoapBox. You seem to be the overall winner because:
A) Your not a prostate prostitute.
B) Even if you have bought your credentials on the internet, your not using them to make me believe everything you say is a brain science fact.
C) I think you’ve come out of this with 3 or 4 confirmed new followers!! YAY!
– Unless, of course.. your not looking for new readers anyway. In which case I’ll just bugger off.
December 14th, 2011 at 7:15 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
Glad you enjoyed the read QC, we don’t get too many females looking happy ending massages in these parts.
So long as you’re not expecting a dedicated blog about happy ending massages, welcome aboard!
December 15th, 2011 at 1:40 am TaiwanTeacher(Quote)
@Adrian – Yes; right thread.
Standard parlance in the States when in need of obtaining a happy ending while not wishing to get arrested by an undercover member of the vice squad is, “Do you know where I can find a plumber? I have a pipe that needs to be unclogged.”
December 15th, 2011 at 2:00 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Just a quick image check to remind prospective clients what the delightful Miss Natalie (sp?) looks like…
http://natalie1972.typepad.com/.a/6a010536186854970b014e5fadb28e970c-500wi
She now admits to being 36 years of age, but looking at this photo—and considering the “beautifying” potential of Photoshop—I’d be guessing at more like 46 years of age.
It seems as though one of her many name variants is now Natalee Epsteen? Which I’d believe for all of 2 nanoseconds.
December 15th, 2011 at 10:17 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@TaiwanTeacher
So uh… what happens if you inadvertently ask a member of the vice squad this question??
December 18th, 2011 at 10:28 am Adrian(Quote)
I’d imagine you’d be saying this at a massage parlour.
So, the euphemism would be enough to prosecutable in the circumstances.
December 18th, 2011 at 12:51 pm Adrian(Quote)
To Qld Chick
Gumtree normally has a heap of masseurs ( trained and untrained)
Who would give you the massage to completion.
Usually free to female clients depending on how
attractive ( or not ) she is . Otherwise, there’s always alcohol.
December 28th, 2011 at 11:57 am darko(Quote)
Dear Mr Blog owner.
I personally believe that Miss Natalie has been treated rather poorly on this blog.
I think it would be a good idea for the blog owner to actually visit Natalie and sample her services herself and then post on her your own experience.
I have been to many rub n tug, brothels and massage parlors in my time and I believe that usually the bad service providers disappear and the good ones do well. I have seen Natalie’s ads in various online publications and she has been doing this for a while.
I’m pretty sure she is not bad or else her name would be tarnished on various online forums on the net…eg sensual down under etc.
Cheers guys.
December 28th, 2011 at 12:03 pm darko(Quote)
This is a review from Sensualdown Under
It is far different from the ones posted here. I’ll leave it up to you guys to decide which reviewer is correct.
December 28th, 2011 at 1:55 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@darko
Natalie might be the greatest prostate milker in the world, but honestly who cares when she looks like an 85 year old woman?
That alone is enough to guarantee I’d never use her services…and I know I’m being superficial but cmon guys, we’re talking about the sex industry here.
I’d rather a crap massage + bj from someone hot then a stunning orgasm from a leathery handbag.
December 28th, 2011 at 6:29 pm Adrian(Quote)
Darko You don’t actually mention that you have tried Natalie.
As for sensual downunder, that review is remarkably the same as the countless other reviews Natalie uses on her ads and I would be putting money on these ”reviews” being Shameless self promotion.
Check out her reviews on Auxxxreviews which generally point to a person who does Not deliver.
As for her rates, a fool and their money are soon parted.
December 28th, 2011 at 8:40 pm darko(Quote)
Actually I disagree dude.
First of all I think you are a bit off the mark in saying she looks like an 85 year old woman lol.
Secondly. In my vast experience being serviced by Melbournes women I can tell you now that the decent looking young ladies are usually the ones who provide a crap clock watching service be it sex or massage. Hot looking Asians and other ladies very rarely provide a decent service.
On the other hand when I tend to punt I choose the more maturer ladies who always 9/10 times provide a value for money service.
I have visited many places where I have been in intros and saw an absolute young stunner and have been disapointed by her service that is punishment for making a dick based decision.
However I have had some of the best experiences of my life visiting Maturer ladies. Also taking it to another level by bringing my own massage oil (Strawberry, Chocolate etc) or some whipped cream and ice magic. Or sometimes getting them to wear a hot schoolgirls or nurses uniform.
Ive gone off the track here but I still think to say Natalie is a 85 year old is a bit harsh. I remember I was on Passion.com and visited a lady who lied in her photo when I rocked up she was actually 70 years old and with a hunch back. I got out of there ASAP. Natalie is not an 85 year old grandma lol cheers
December 28th, 2011 at 8:45 pm darko(Quote)
Hi Adrian
The person who wrote the review is genuine. He has posted many other reviews on Sensual Down under which I can verify as I have stayed with many of the same women that the person is reviewing. I have also recommended many women to this person and he has visited those ladies that I have reviewed.
So to answer your question I dont think he is posting a fake review of Natalie. At the same time why is it that only the good reviews of her are being questioned as fake but the bad ones are not being questioned. It could easily be some people wanting to tarnish her reputation.
As for me trying Natalie I will in time. I have seen her ads and I have read reviews good and bad and will probably see her in the new year.
Probably the only thing putting me off seeing Natalie is not her but the prostate milking service which I have read in various sites that it can be dangerous if not performed properly so the only reason for me not seeing Natalie is that I want to educated myself more about this before I go and visit her.
December 28th, 2011 at 9:53 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Hey there Darko…
As you’re probably aware, on-line reviews aren’t worth a pinch of rocking-horse shit. Both rave reviews—and shit reviews—are more often than not totally bogus, and written with ulterior motives.
And you’d have to agree that $240 for a one hour service is ludicrous! That’s more than my doctor or dentist charges!
If guys are happy to part with this sort of money for what amounts to a quick wank job, then that’s their prerogative of course; we all spend our money as we see fit, and it’s really nobody else’s business.
But… Miss Natalie totally overrates her alleged “skills” in what she laughably calls “prostate milking”. Any nurse working in a hospital’s male surgical ward can do precisely the same thing—if you’re lucky enough to have one as a girlfriend that is LOL. And do it free of charge!
Or, if you’re so inclined, you can even stimulate your own prostate—with your social finger or a dildo. And get exactly the same intense orgasm.
Miss Natalie repeatedly claims here that her “skills” are unique, and that she’s worth every cent she charges.
This is simply not true.
December 29th, 2011 at 10:42 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
@darko
Then I can only conclude that you too are an 85 year old grandparent. Seriously, have you seen the photos?
Only if you don’t have eyes. Seriously, go take a walk through a nursing home – you’ll either feel like you’re surrounded by old people, or if you find Natalie attractive, feel like you’ve stumbled into a red light district.
Let us know which one.
So what you’re saying is… unless I like getting felt up by fugly old people, prostate milking isn’t for me.
December 29th, 2011 at 11:37 am Cellisimo(Quote)
Hi all,
This is a great thread but I’m wondering if anyone can actually list any establishments that offer a massage with a happy ending?
I only know of one in Melbourne which is Bodyline in Yarraville…surely there must be more places?! I’ve enquirer with a number of brothels that tell me that they do offer that service but it’s the same price as full service…
Thanks
December 29th, 2011 at 4:07 pm TaiwanTeacher(Quote)
Look here… If you Aussie egomaniacs can’t get a freebie somewhere when the need arises (pun intended), then maybe you should either:
a) Look into what it is in your culture that has made your women so generally unfriendly towards Aussie men, or
b) Stare into a mirror and ask yourself why you are so wonderfully handsome and confident, yet remain totally unappealing to the ladies.
Can you say, “Gentlemen, I fear we have become ASSHOLES and too ignorant to take notice!”
???
December 29th, 2011 at 5:47 pm Adrian(Quote)
So, Natalie…. Err ‘Darko’ I can’t help but feel this is drawn out
manipulation of the thread whereby the focus is again put on yourself
and after lots of posts you come back with a post stating that
you have visited yourself …. Err Natalie and proceed to give a glowing
review akin to the numerous other self penned ones on your …
Err Natalie’s adds.
Otherwise, why join the thread in her defense? Surely that Jade Tantra
copped heaps as well but you don’t feel the need to blindingly champion
her cause.
December 29th, 2011 at 8:35 pm ausGeoff(Quote)
Yep, very true…
According to the most recent study, only 1.9% of Australian men have paid for sex in the last 12 months.
The 40-49 year-old age-group are the most likely to have ever paid for sex, whereas 20-29 year-olds are the most likely to have in the last 12 months.
December 29th, 2011 at 10:07 pm Adrian(Quote)
Taiwan Teacher. Not sure where the sudden attitude came from but were you upset by any one thing or just the general types of posts here?
December 29th, 2011 at 10:25 pm TaiwanTeacher(Quote)
Aw… I was just having a little fun with ya’ll.
PEACE. CHEERS! And, Happy New Year!
December 29th, 2011 at 10:29 pm TaiwanTeacher(Quote)
Honest to God, in my whole life, I only tried once to pay for sex (on the advice of a friend who thought it would “cure my funk”).
After four hours (no lie!), the professional thanked me and told me she had such a good time that the whole thing was free! hahaha
December 29th, 2011 at 11:41 pm Bec(Quote)
It warms my heart when I see replies to this thread in my inbox.
Adrian, I think I’m falling in love with you and your quick witted replies. You make me giggle.
I hate stupid people. If one more person asks for a rub n tug location to be named I’ll be forced to gouge out their eyes with a melon scoop.
Ausgeoff, you’re pretty cool too. :p
That is all.
December 29th, 2011 at 11:44 pm Adrian(Quote)
The word ‘Troll’ comes to mind.
December 29th, 2011 at 11:50 pm S. Muffin(Quote)
I seriously doubt taiwanteacher’s story – time is money. No Working Girl gives it for free no matter how many orgasms you give her.
December 30th, 2011 at 12:04 am Bec(Quote)
There you go again
‘Troll’ is fitting. On a side note, its also alliteration.
December 30th, 2011 at 12:04 am darko(Quote)
Yes Adrian it is me Natalie posing as Darko….NOT.
LOL incase you haven’t noticed Natalie uses big words and good grammar…and me Darko is a tall curriemuncher from Sunshine
If you still think im Natalie then I guess you can believe that, maybe you also believe in Santa Clause as well or even the Easter Bunny.
- to ozsoapbox
Dude that’s why we are all individuals who have different tastes in what we wish to experience. You prefer shitty service from hot women. I prefer a great service from an average woman.
In case you haven’t noticed but there is a financial crisis going on. Some people are not loaded with cash to go to the Top of the Town to pay a large amount of money and select a good looking lady only to be told in the room that it is one position only and extras are $$$.
Some people like to use their hard earned money on Beer and XBOX games and get a good value root or massage.
And Natalie is not 85 years old. I wouldn’t have any trouble giving her my joystick to play with.
December 30th, 2011 at 12:58 am ausGeoff(Quote)
Awww… shucks…
Now I’m all overcome!
December 30th, 2011 at 2:45 am TaiwanTeacher(Quote)
@ The Doubters: Like it or not, it’s a true story. Granted, I was MUCH younger at the time! haha
@Muffin – That’s a name befitting a cold-hearted hooker, if I ever read one. Guys, she sounds like the type that will “let you pay” to get both of you drunk, and then get her own jollies before taking your money AND your cars keys!
December 30th, 2011 at 4:23 am Adrian(Quote)
Thanks Bec.
You are far too kind to this dirty old perve;)
December 30th, 2011 at 12:27 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
@darko
Wait what? I don’t prefer a