Swine Flu in Australia: To facemask or not?
I woke up today not really feeling like going into work. No I wasn’t sick, didn’t have somewhere else to be and certainly wasn’t going to spend the day posting on facebook and then wonder why I got fired.
The last time I didn’t want to go to work under these circumstances was the day after the 9/11 attacks. Now I’m not saying the swine flu is equal to terrorist attacks but until there’s a concrete vaccination well i’d rather not traipse about at work running the risk of catching it, as small a chance of that happening might be.
One preventative measure that seems to be the norm in some Asian countries due to pollution is the humble face mask. I personally struggle with the concept of a face mask, it’s a mental battle in my mind between the two primal instincts, survival and vanity.
Swine flu has been kind of hard to ignore over the last few days. News.com.au themselves have run 8-10 stories about it today alone whipping the public up into a flu tablet buying frenzy. I’m starting to think the entire thing is a brilliant plan devised by governments around the world to use the health industry to fight off global recession.
Either that or they’re hoping swine flu makes it’s way over to the middle east and destroys them internally. I mean if the pig is such an affront surely catching pig flu means you’d have to kill yourself in shame?
Sure I’m venturing dangerously into tin foil hat territory but it’s not my fault the theories makes total sense. The only thing I can’t explain is Mexico. I guess the US government figured it was only time before someone got up and blamed Mexicans for stealing white collar jobs and creating the financial crisis, so why not just beat everyone to the punch and start a wordwide pandemic there instead.
Unlike our Asian neighbours, air is relatively clean in Australia and so the only people that walk around wearing face masks are Islamic women, ninjas and crazy old asian people on bicycles who don’t realise the air on our roads is probably cleaner then standing in the middle of a Chinese rainforest.
China has rainforests right?
With this in mind it’s ridiculously hard to wear a facemask in Australia without looking like a complete and utter douchebag.
As I thought about this on the way to work I quickly brainstormed some alternative ideas to protecting myself from contracting the swine flu.
Didn’t eat any mexican food over the weekend?…check.
Changed the channel when that Speedy Gonzales cartoon came on?…check.
Didn’t use my phone all weekend just incase Sol Trujillo called to remind me to pay my phone bill?…check.
Added the every site from the .mx domain to my router firewall?…check.
Avoided the mexican aisle and instead of buying noodles from the adjacent Asian section decided to be adventurous and try the whacky pseudo-asian products from the kosher aisle?…biggest-mistake-ever check.
Needless to say I wasn’t doing a stellar job in reassuring myself and the question of whether to face mask or not to facemask was fast becoming unavoidable. I wondered what the threshold would be for me to actively go out to Bunnings and pickup some paint masks to wear; Yes I said paint masks, screw trying to get some from a chemist and paying 5-6 times as much for the same thing.
I think for me the limit would be about five deaths before I decided to wear one fulltime in public. Yes five deaths from the swine flu is the price I put on my vanity, lest I forget.
Five deaths before I as an Australian decide, you know what, I don’t care if I look like a moron i’m going to try and protect myself from your snotty germs. Yeah that’s right, I’M BETTER THEN YOUÂ AND HERE’S THE MASK TO PROOVE IT. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!
I haven’t seen anyone wearing them on the bicycle commuting route but I’m almost tempted to catch public transport for a few days to see if people are sporting facemasks on the trains and trams of Melbourne.
Anyway, with no reported deaths on Australian soil yet I think we’re a ways off before I submit myself to the humiliation of a mouth prison. Here’s hoping.
May 3rd, 2009 at 6:24 pm Les(Quote)
Hey Oz,
The term ‘swine flu’ got me thinking about a previous post of yours in relation to names. Mexican Flu would have been a easier name to use in general conversation. Every time I say swine flu, I tend to use a slight German accent… Alas, they have gone with boring old H1N1 that’s more synonymous with the game of Battleship.
It appears that the death rate percentage for the US is less than 1% http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/ a lot less than other so called developing countries. Using this as a guide, you will need around 500 confined cases here before you don the mask. http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2006/08/07/transparent-face-mask/
From what I’ve read the mask is really only one part of your defense arsenal and seems more effective in stopping already infected people from spreading the disease. The virus can still get in to your system via your eyes and from touching something an infected person has touched and then rubbing your eyes or putting your fingers in your nose or mouth. Using an atm, eftpos or even handling your change and eating your lunch without washing your hands leaves you open to infection. Not to mention the people that are preparing your food!
If the shit really hits the fan, I wont have any problem getting around like this
May 3rd, 2009 at 8:26 pm ozsoapbox(Quote)
The only problems I have with mexican flu are
a. we’ll have to endure mexican jokes for the next 30 years and
b. Precedence. Half the new ‘deadly’ viruses come out of China and we don’t call anything ‘China disease’. By rights I should be able to waltz down to Coles and pick up some China baby milk but I can’t
.
I don’t think it’s fair to mexicans to name a disease after them, fair enough if it was laughably curable, like a STD but not something that’s killed people.
Personally I like swine flu, it makes me think of bacon everytime I say it, it kinda takes the edge off.
‘I mean sure people are dying.. but on the other hand I kinda feel hungry now, I can get through this.’
As for death rates, the latest I’ve read is:
Are people coming back to life or something? Did Jesus catch swine flu?
What the hell how do you downgrade deaths?
May 3rd, 2009 at 11:00 pm cuteface(Quote)
I think by ‘downgrade’, they means that initially they thought the death toll was 100 but now the confirmed number is 19.
The worst place to catch such flu is the hospital (as I would know!) and the best way to prevent getting it (if any!) is to wash your hand regularly! Much more effective than masks I’d think!
By the way, the mask that you showed here is actually for hay fever Ozsoapbox!
May 3rd, 2009 at 11:33 pm Les(Quote)
There was the Spanish flu of course but I guess those jokes petered out towards 1950…
Um, yeah… http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm Zombies?