Aside from my initial connection, I remember the first time I really got excited by the internet was my unlimited Ihug connection. 56 kilobits of blistering speed with a four hour call cap but within which I was free to do whatever I wanted with my connection.

Since then I’ve had unlimited access twice, the first with Telstra while they spent months working out how to install a monthly allowance on their new ADSL1 service, and then with Dodo on a 1.5mb connection for five years which I finally cancelled last year due to horrendous traffic shaping.

The overwhelming trend in Australia when it comes to broadband since Telstra started Bigpond Cable Advance way back when has pretty much been tiny ridiculous quotas and ever faster access speeds so you can go reach your quota and we can bend you over in excess charges.

Today in the news Telstra head goon Sol Trujillo announced how wonderful it is that Telstra are spearheading the way in access speeds again;

Mr Trujillo said Telstra would increase the speed to 42 Mbps towards the end of 2009 and in early 2010. “Everything changes when you can do things faster,” Mr Trujillo said.

"I can make this many billions off Australians connected at 42mbit/s

All this really means is that they’ve found a way to push you to your allowance faster. Forget about 42Mbps, if you browse over to Telstra’s broadband wireless page you can see their current pricing and speeds.

Let’s look at Telstra’s highest volume plan, “Bigpond Liberty 10gb” which retails at $129, has a 10 gigabyte cap and speed of up to 1.3Mbps. Let’s also be generous and say you only achieved a speed of 550kbps, the lowest speed listed on their site.

It would still take you roughly 50 hours to plough through your data allowance.

Now keep in this is being generous with the speeds, if you were able to sustain their maximum speed listed (up to 1.3mbits) you’d blow your data allowance in 21 hours. You’d probably spend the rest of the month scratching your belly shaped to dialup speeds wondering why on earth you signed up to such a ridiculously stupid plan in the first place.

Now that’s currently what’s on offer. An interim speed upgrade of up to 21 megabits per second has been announced for residential customers sometime in April. Using the Bigpond Liberty 10gb plan again as a benchmark, at just half the advertised speed (10.5mbit/s) you would use your allowance up in 2.7 hours. At full speed that drops to just 1.3 hours, or 78 minutes.

I’m not making this up, at 21megabits on Bigponds largest data allowance plan can use up your entire monthly allowance in 78 minutes.

Looking into the future it gets even worse, 42 megabits can be used up in an alarming 41 minutes! Who the hell cares about 42 megabits when you can’t bloody well do anything with it?!

To be fair they’ll hopefully bump up the limit, although how by how much little is anyone’s guess. Currently the largest data allowance for residential users across any one of their plans is 60gb, at half the proposed 42Mbit/s (21Mbit/s) this is 8 hours usage and at the full proposed speed of 42Mbit/s a gargantuan 4 hours.

These are on the highest volume plan which shapes you to dialup upon reaching your data allowance mind you, on the lower plans you are billed at 25cents a megabyte. What does this mean? Well on 21Mbit/s it means $1800 an hour in excess usage and at 42Mbit/s it’s $3600/h. Just how easy is it to get over your limit on the lower end plans? The cheapest plan listed is $30 and offers 200mb before you are charged excess. At 21Mbit/s this is 100 seconds usage and at 42Mbit/s this is 50 seconds usage, less then one minute.

So potentially you could sign up to a $30 wireless plan, use your quota in less then one minute and start being charged at $3600/h. Well gee, no wonder Sol is creaming his jocks to get you using their amazing 42mbit wireless network.

Currently the largest capacity residential plans from Telstra are $129 for cable and $149 for ADSL2 and both count upstream and downstream. With wireless costing a lot more who knows how much 41mbit/s will cost the end user. My money is on it being completely financially unobtainable to 99% of Australians, 99% being Telstra’s current percentage of the population coverage guarantee.

I can’t wait for the next speed announcement in a few months promising us less faster. Telstra get off your arses and give us capacity, it’s 2009 and nobody is sitting at their pc just checking emails anymore.

1. The National Broadband Network plan is a waste of money
2. Link to blacklist sites will cost $11000 a day