As a dog owner I try to socialise Leela as much as possible. Although what I’d classify a medium-sized dog, my initial foray into dog ownership was that of the Pug variety.

Whilst sadly that adventure ended in tears, I still do and always will have an adoration towards Pugs.

Other small dogs? Not so much.

Infact nothing brings out the groan in me than heading down to the local dog park for a bit of socialising training and play with Leela, only to find it overrun with this:


I don’t know what it is specifically about Poodles, but they are the dog of choice for middle-aged neglected Taiwanese women who for one reason or another aren’t in a relationship and feel the urge to fight off their child rearing instincts.

The end result is an absolute onslaught of glamorized and pampered brown scruffy poodles. Black ones exist too but, perhaps due to a Taiwanese cultural stigma against all things black, are not as common.

Thankfully this particular specimen of princess poodle wasn’t waiting for us at the dog park, but rather was excitedly prancing around the floorspace of her (there’s no such thing as a male poodle) owner’s scooter while she ordered some fried street food.


Ordering the same food, I found myself with a few minutes to kill so took the opportunity to have a little photo-shoot with princess – much to the delight of her owner.

Well I assume it was delight, between my girlfriend and the owner there was waaaaaay too much squealing and embarrassingly loud hysterics at a level that no two grown women should be seen or heard making in public.

Anyway, getting back to princess we had the pearl necklace with flashy jingly bits:


The earrings (at least I think that’s what they were):


And of course to top of the ensemble… Hello Kitty dog sandals:


Easily the worst case of animal abuse I’ve ever seen in Taiwan, I can only imagine the horror that is day to day life for this poor dog. Lord knows a dog’s feet weren’t made for walking about…

Getting back to my interaction with princess poodle owners though and my animosity towards them, it’s not so much the dogs that piss me right off as the owners.

Princess is after all as princess does.

Whilst nothing is more comedic than watching a princess poodle owner dolphin dive with a look of abstract terror on their face, rising to hoist their precious above their heads as we pass, it’s less amusing at the dog park to have noisy princess scream and squeal everytime “killer” gets near their princesses.

“Killer” of course being my barely 40cm high Formosan Mountain Dog half-breed who is obedience trained to a fault, has big floppy ears and looks like this:


Perhaps if I dressed her up in earrings, slapped a necklace on her and bought some pink slippers we’d get an entirely different reception…

Having had my pug puppy mauled by another dog I totally get the “watch out” mentality of small dog owners but seriously… Pogo was killed by a 1M tall giant hulk of a Doberman whose slobber ridden gaping mouth was so wide I could have stuck my entire head in it.

Leela is barely bigger than the poodles she’s running around and only does so wanting to play. She’s never shown signs of aggression towards anything, even our rescue budgie Hank:


I can appreciate that the princess poodle owners don’t know this but cmon, we’re going to bring a puppy eating destroyer of worlds to a public dog park… to play with other dogs?


Mind you nobody else seems to care (other small dog owners included), just the princess owners and their princess poodles. I really don’t know what it is about the breed that attracts these type of people but male or female, it does seem to be pretty consistent.

Personally? Outside of walking Leela if I see anyone with a poodle in a social situation I’m breaking world records running in the opposite direction.