Barbecues, making out, watching the world go by and creating your own virtual garden. These are all just some of the things you can do with a balcony.

When I heard the first apartment I’d be staying at featured a balcony I got a bit excited. I’d never had a balcony before and started to mentally make up all sorts of plans.

I’d be able to finally grow some plants and get them some sunlight. I’d have somewhere safe to store my bicycle without having to inconvenience anyone else in the building. At some point I’d also pick up a few deck chairs and on those warm Taiwanese summer nights, kick back with some company and enjoy a few dirt cheap crispy cold 7-11 Taiwan beers.

When I moved into my new place I hastily dropped my suitcase onto the bed, raced up to the sliding doors, threw open the curtains and…

…

…and started to cry.

This was the view from my glorious balcony:

I felt like Taiwan had just kicked me in the nuts. So hard had I been kicked in the nuts that I could feel all my balcony dreams being pounded out of my head, one by one, and replaced with sharp pain.

For some reason having a washing machine outdoors seems to be common practice here in Taiwan. So long as you put a somewhat waterproof cover over the top people don’t seem to mind leaving their washing machines on their balconies.

Just to make sure I didn’t dare try to utilise any of the limited balcony space that I had, to the left of the washing machine was a hot water gas canister.

I don’t know the reason but people here also seem to shy away from mains gas lines. Instead you have these massive canisters that get replaced every so often. Before a shower you need to go outside and turn the gas on and after a shower turn it off again.

Of course after a few days this gets massively annoying. Yet you keep doing it because if you leave the gas on, there’s a good chance the canister will run out quickly and you won’t have any hot water for a shower.

I’m not a plumber but I couldn’t help but question the safety of such a set up. The gas canister was exposed to the elements 24/7 and connected with flimsy looking clear plastic hoses for the gas to flow through. It was also placed rouhgly 5 meters from where I put my head down to sleep every night.

I kinda felt like I was sleeping next to a bomb ready to go off at any moment.

Having a balcony stuffed full of equipment does fit the ‘utilise every square inch of space with maximum efficiency’ motif Taiwan seems to run on.

I guess for now my plans of balcony grandiose are in indefinitely on hold.



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