Any time I see English on a tourism sign in Taiwan I wholly appreciate it. When you’re out exploring, there’s nothing worse than coming across a bunch of signs you know lead off to places of interest in an area and not understanding any of it.

What usually follows is a crapshoot and exhausting search of Chinese language signs till you finally get to whichever of the mystery options you picked. Not fun.

On the other hand, sometimes when English features on a tourist sign, even then it’s not all that helpful. Situated at the entrance to Tongjing Village in Miaoli is one cluster of signs.

From a distance they look innocent enough:

tourism sign fail tongjing village miaoli

But edge closer and you’re in for a bit of head scratching.

tourism sign fail closeup tongjing village miaoli

Big Pond Farm… uh, farm with a big pond? Next.

Fu-yuan Farm? Sounds a little bit more interesting than Big Pond Farm… but what’s a Fu-yuan? Not really helpful.

lung-tsuh Ietsure Spot. Let this one sink in for a moment. How on Earth do you get ietsure from “leisure”?

Da-jia Tang. Well I know “tang” usually means soup but I’m guessing that’s not the case here. Or hell maybe it’s a giant pot of soup you can go look at. If a big inflatable yellow duck can bring out half the country, why not a pot of soup in Tongjing?

Chung-shan bee farm. This one I actually have no problems with. It’s informative and I know exactly what to expect if I head there. Ditto Town Office and Forest Path (which I believe is the Tongjing Mountain Forest Trail).

The next two signs are obviously for places no whiteys are allowed to visit. They are so exclusively Taiwanese that no translation is provided. Fuck off round eyes.

And last but not least, and my favourite sign… “Superment Enterprise”. Obviously some sort of company… I totally love the generic name. Superment.

Just brilliant.

All in all, with the exception of the bee farm and forest trail, Tongjing Village’s efforts to guide tourists is pretty useless. And keep in mind that, although I might sound harsh, these are official government tourism signs. As in, someone at the Miaoli government had to come up with the English to put on them.

How they arrived at some of those translations and why they thought utterly random capitalization was a good idea beats me…