Every so often the girlfriend comes up with an idea for an article and, coming home with two bottles of Malz the other day, suggested I try and review them.
At first glance I thought they were beer, which typically what I associate malt (malz) beverages with. The girlfriend insisted these were energy drinks though but I wasn’t entirely convinced.
Cracking open a bottle, which needs a bottle opener, I tried the lemon flavour variety first but was unable to finish the bottle.
It tasted like a lemoned up Corona that somebody had sucked all the punch out of. Whether it was my body expecting an alcohol taste and only getting a lightly carbonated sugar grainy flavoured drink I can’t say, but lemon Malz definitely wasn’t for me.
A few days later I cracked open the regular flavour Malz (after the lemon one I felt like I had to give my body time to recover), and although it tasted slightly better (read: didn’t taste like a bottle of someone’s Corona dregs), I still struggled with the drink.
It’s like fizzy sugar and I don’t get what the appeal is. It’s kinda feels like “oh hey we have nothing around to make a drink that tastes good. We have a lot of grains though, maybe we can make a drink out of them!”
And it definitely tastes like that too.
No idea who Malz is aimed at but it’s definitely not me. That said I did feel a bit of a pickup after getting through most of the bottles (couldn’t bring myself to finish regular Malz either), but I think that might just be due to the inherent sugar content.
I tried to do some further research on the product but found Malz appears to be an export only product. Carlsberg don’t list Malz on their German website (Karlsberg) and I can’t find any record of it online.
Carlsberg is distributed in Taiwan by “Carlsberg Distributors Taiwan Ltd”, who are owned by “Carlsberg Brewery Malaysia Bhd”. It appears there’s a Carlsberg brewery in Malaysia so I’m figuring that’s where Malz is brewed.
Packaging wise Malz is also a little on the strange side, starting with the bottle cap which reads “virtues worship”:
The bottle label itself proudly declares “BEST FROM GERMANY”, despite the drink apparently not being available in Germany.
And on the back, in bold capital letters is the certification that Malz is “VEGETARIAN”:
Y’know… just incase you were afraid there might be any meat products in your malt based beverage.
Strange little drink this one and priced at $35 TWD it’s not all that bad value… shame about the taste though. I’ll definitely be steering clear of Malz and won’t be buying again.
Haven’t worked out yet if the girlfriend knew it was bad and was just trolling me or was being genuinely helpful…