I like to think of myself as somewhat of a television addict. When the US television season is in full swing I can easily put aside half to three quarters of a day a week watching my favourite shows.

By no means a quantitative addict instead I get horribly attached to shows I really like and watch them religiously. I miss them when they’re on break and I count down the days before I can watch them again.

Since moving to Taiwan I’ve had to make some minor adjustments in my television viewing habits. What with everything on cable television here being subtitled and shown completely at random, I’ve found myself relying on the internet more then ever.

From time to time though I do still find myself aimlessly drifting through the one hundred or so cable television channels available from practically any television in Taiwan. Coupled with your staple movies and American tv shows is a strange assortment of Asian oriented programming that is unique to say the least.

On a recent afternoon it was this endless curiosity with Asian television that proved to be my downfall.

I’d just checked into a random hotel and had plonked my belongings on the bed. Tired from the long trip in I contemplated having a nap but decided it against it. I only had an hour till my date.

Not willing to risk sleep and not really knowing the area I was staying in I decided to call up my date and see if we might kick things off earlier. Pulling my phone out of my bag I punched in her number and waited.

No answer.

Shrugging it off I decided to plonk myself infront of the television and hope she was just in the shower or something.

Normally I’d settle for watching HBO, Star Movies, Hollywood, National Geographic, Discovery Channel or one of the other few channels broadcast in English. From time to time however none of these channels have anything of interest on. It’s then that I resort to mindless channel surfing the non english channels in the hope I find something interesting.

This was one of those times.

The upper end of the channel spectrum is usually filled with garbage shopping and finance channels so I usually start my odyssey at the lower end.

The first few channels are usually the local CTV networks followed by the news and then a few American sports feeds. With nothing grabbing me I continued on, ready to speed flick through the cartoon channels in the hope that something worthwhile had popped up on the English channels that followed.

To my surprise however as I flicked over to channel 15 I was met with an unfamiliar sight,

…as channel 15 came into focus my brain took a few seconds to process what I was looking at. As the sense of shock wore off, the gravity of what I was watching hit me.

Hardcore Asian pornography.

Now the visuals in themselves weren’t all that bad but I’m the kind of guy that likes to watch television with the volume quite loud. My penchant for totally immersing myself in whatever I’m watching has landed me in trouble with the neighbours on more then a few occasions.

With that, the realisation of where I was kicked in and I scrambled for the off button. I sat there for a few seconds on the bed wondering if anyone outside had heard. Being in a new hotel I was more then a little self conscious of giving off the impression that I’d checked in during the early hours of the afternoon to settle in for a marathon porn session.

As I sat there and pondered whether or not is was worth checking out, my phone rang. My date was ready.

Leaving my keys at the front desk, ready to bolt at any sign of a smirk I was relieved that my channel surfing adventures appeared to have gone unnoticed. In the clear I set out ready to enjoy a sunny afternoon.

The date went well, we had a late lunch and spent a lot of time chatting as we walked around enjoying the sights. The date went so good infact that after dinner we wound up back at my hotel room.

We’d brought back some food to eat and after finishing that wound up talking on the bed. I knew where things were heading and decided to enjoy the company for a while before we got down to business.

I’m not exactly sure how it happened but at some point during our conversation she instinctively reached for the television remote and flicked on the tv, presumably for some background noise.

Of course being the product of modern technological excellence the television had stored the last channel I’d watched in it’s memory, along with the volume level I’d watched it at.

I sat there in absolute horror wishing I’d thought to change the channel before turning the television off before. The minutes seem to drag into hours and I waited for her to turn it off or at the very least change the channel. But almost as if she was punishing me she kept the TV on.

Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and I reached over for the remote grabbing it from her hands. As the porn noises finally subsided from the room she turned and looked me in the eye. I looked back but I already knew no explanation was going to be good enough.

She told me it was probably best if she left. I haven’t turned on a hotel television since and I never saw her again.


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