I’m one of four brothers and whilst poetically planned or not, we all have at least one scar on our heads from kids being kids.

I have a scar on my left eyebrow from playing live action Streetfighter and hitting my head on the corner of a wooden bed (don’t laugh), my second brother hit his head on a concrete wall while we were running around the house and needed stitches, my third brother slipped in the bathtub and bonked his head on the tiles requiring stitches and my Fourth brother fell off a bunkbed and actually split part of his chin open from impact. The thought of suing anybody for our own stupidity/clumsiness never even crossed our minds.

Enter Cameron Thomas’ parents.

They claim that due to negligence on behalf of an (ex) friend’s parents, they are entitled to compensation because their son fell off a bunkbed and fractured his skull during a sleep over.

Boo-freaking-hoo.

Just because your kid is an uncoordinated dumbarse does not entitle you to money. No matter how much legislation and safety standards are introduced by government officials and cotton-wool toting parents, kids are always going to get up to stupid things and find ways to injure themselves. We did it when we were kids and I’m sure most of you have similar stories about your childhood.

Cameron Thomas parents opening statement to the court

Cameron Thomas parents' opening statement to the court


The motive behind the suit is what really drags the parents into the stupid bin;

“The court heard that before the accident, Cameron was a happy, gregarious boy who did well at school, had a large group of friends, loved sports and played the piano and clarinet. Afterwards, he suffered from mood swings and became aggressive and withdrawn. He left school last year, aged 14, because mainstream schooling could not help him.”

His mother Christine wept in the witness box as she described the grief of losing the son that she knew. “We have lost … the happy, carefree family that we had,” she said.

So kid has a fall when he’s 10, subsequently goes through puberty and the resulting personality change, gets kicked out of school and parents come up with the first scapegoat they can think of, a fall Cameron had four years ago. What an absolute crock. If every parent decided to sue someone over why their precious turned into a teenage monster we’d have to establish an entirely new court system just to deal with the never ending onslaught.

The case isn’t all one sided though, the parents of the ex-friend have chosen to defend the case on the grounds “Cameron was trying to jump from a chest of drawers when he fell”. Now four years on, how exactly is any of this going to be proved? They might as well decide the outcome off a game of rock scissors paper.

Frighteningly though is the fact that this case could set a dangerous precedent. What with the fact that “at least 3850 children under 15 are treated each year for bunk-bed related injuries”, depending on how this case pans out it might be a very good time for lawyers to start thinking about specialising in bunkbed claims. Ultimately that’s all who’s winning here; the lawyers.

Parents will become even more paranoid when it comes to letting other peoples kids stay over and kids will be even more further bubble-wrapped.

“Little johnny failed his VCE because ten years ago you let him watch too much tv when he slept over and ever since then his personality changed and he started watching too much tv, LOTS OF MONEY PLEASE!”

“Timmy was at your house back when he was five and he had TWO icecreams. We’ve only ever given him one icecream at a time and now he’s fifteen and weighs 300 kilos so obviously it’s your fault, LOTS OF MONEY PLEASE!”

“Suzy was staying over at Rosy’s house when she was nine and one time found some Gi-Joe dolls that belonged to Rosy’s brother. Now she’s fifteen and just told us she’s a lesbian. We only ever let her play with Barbie dolls in our house so clearly Rosy’s parents are to blame, LOTS OF MONEY PLEASE!”

Hey Cameron’s parents: Your kid went through puberty, deal with it. Stop wasting the courts time, destroying his future credibility and making your family look like a bunch of money grabbing morons in front of the nation.



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