My earliest recollections of transsexuals are of men with way too much make up, clothed in trashy dresses with hints of stubble poking through their foundation. They’re the guys you can pick out miles away, the telltale bulky knees, chiseled jaws and curvy biceps always gave them away.

For this reason I’ve always felt relatively secure in being able to spot them. Whenever there was a story on tv about some ‘poor’ guy finding out his woman was a man or if someone’s gender came into question I’m always that guy who is pretty sure he knows who’s batting.

All that went out the window however when I saw the candidates for Miss Tiffany’s Universe 2009 which was staged earlier this month. The contestants here look nothing like the transsexuals we get in Australia, the heels are higher, the busts are larger and oh dear god – the lines between gender distinction are blurrier then ever!

Starting off back in 1974 in Pattaya city as a transexual cabaret show operating out of bar with just three performers, the show has now grown to a fully fledged beauty pageant with over 100 performers. It is held in a 1000 seat auditorium complete with “with modern light & sound stage equipment”.

The contest seeks to “promoting a positive transvestite image to the local and international public” and is broadcast live on Thai television to and audience of fifteen million. Interestingly enough the show is billed as a show ‘for all ages’, although I’m not sure it’s something you’d take the whole family along too.

‘Hey daddy… why is that woman’s undies looking funny?’

‘well uh.. I ah… oh wow did somebody say ALL YOU CAN EAT FREE ICECREAMS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY?!’

With categories such as “Miss Unlimited Sexy Star”, “Miss Photogenic” and “Miss Perfect Complexion”, I’m not sure just how well the pageant promotes a positive transvestite image (beyond the superficial), but hey it definitely sounds like the experience would make a great pub story.

Sorrawee Nattee confuses the hell out of my transsexual radar

Beyond the novelty value of it all though, what really floored me were the contestants themselves.

Sure you still have your assortment of ‘that’s definitely a guy’ transsexuals but there’s more then a few where to be perfectly honest I’d probably have a hard time trying to decide.

Hell the thought I might be looking at a guy probably wouldn’t even cross my mind!

There’s 30 contestants in total listed on the contestant page, have a look and I guarantee you’ll find at least one who makes you think twice.

I’m not sure I like this new world of Thai transsexuals who appear to getting a little to close to mimicking females for comfort. Am I alone on this? Are Thai men getting TOO GOOD at hiding their gender or have I simply just lost the touch?!

HELP!

1. Leave choosing the gender of your baby to chance