Lesbian babies: Male sperm donors need not apply.
One of the holy grails of feminism is the utopian world in which males don’t exist (or at the very least are bred to simply change light bulbs and then killed off), everyone is on paid maternity leave indefinitely, tampons and sanitary pads are GST free and somehow the world keeps spinning.
Thanks to scientists in Newcastle, England we’re now one step closer to realising that dream.
In a nutshell, the lab sperm are created from stem cells and made in an incubator type thing in a soup of hormone stuff before being lasered into individual sperm ready for fertilisation.
The Newcastle team say the sperm were fully mature, mobile sperm and they have produced a video to back up the research.
Professor Karim Nayernia at Newcastle University and the NorthEast England Stem Cell Institute says: “This is an important development as it will allow researchers to study in detail how sperm forms and lead to a better understanding of infertility in men – why it happens and what is causing it.
“This understanding could help us develop new ways to help couples suffering infertility so they can have a child which is genetically their own.”
Now that we’ve established the official reason is a load of crap let’s look at the real reason (read: where all the money will be at) people would want stem cell sperm babies.
Currently if you’re a feminist or lesbian and want kids you’ve got to go to one of those clinics and pick out a *shudder* male donor. Or if you’re lucky you’ve got a male sucker donor who doesn’t mind being sued for child support when you and your womyn partner break up because having a baby isn’t quite what you expected.
On top of this you have to carry the evil male genes around in your stomach for nine months while it pollutes your body with poisonous testosterone. Then there’s the godawful chance you’ll have a male child and have to smother it with a pillow and start all over again.
Imagine being able to grow your own sperm from that belly button lint your womyn companion picked out the other day, fertilize yourself and bypass males altogether. Sounds amazing doesn’t it?
Obviously the orthodox feminists will still protest because anything male being produced by a female goes against their femibibles. For the majority of feminists however the breakthrough will put an end to the uneasy treaty the feminist world has with the male population.
As a male I think it’s great news that the blame won’t be placed on male sperm donors anymore when lesbian feminist relationships collapse with children involved. Instead it will be directed to doctors.
What I am slightly concerned about however is sex. Currently male and females sleep around together and if they like what they see then a few years (or decades) later babies happen.
These days with careers, shopping, education, shopping, the global financial crisis, shopping, reading magazines, shopping, getting your hair done and shopping, females have less time then ever before in their day.
If they can cut out the dud guys in their lives and just build sperm from a core sample off the abs of a perfectly sculpted model why would they bother wasting time sleeping with guys? This spells disaster for most males sex lives. Homosexual males of course have nothing to worry about.
Unless you’re a perfectly scultped male model (in which case I wish you well in your new ludicrous career as stem cell donor), things are starting to look pretty grim over here in male land.
Automatic vacuum cleaners can clean better then us, the Rudd government hands out increasingly more welfare at a speed male salaries can’t match, microwaves can cook better then us, small dogs can dress better then us and Japanese robots have recently beaten us in the arena of displays of emotion.
And soon, stem cells will be producing sperm better then us too. All aboard utopia!
November 18th, 2011 at 1:03 am John(Quote)
I’m male and fully in favour of this. I hope this becomes fully accepted in society.
November 18th, 2011 at 1:18 am ozsoapbox(Quote)
Why would any male want to be made biologically redundant?
I mean I know we’ve been doing our best as males what with the development and refining of cooking and cleaning electronics, but sex robots are still a ways off yet.
Women meanwhile have it easy, create their own sperm and we’re useless!
Like I said about infertile women, as a guy if you’re for this I can only imagine ‘you’re either ugly, stupid, unnecessarily polluting the gene pool or maybe even a combination of the three.’