I couldn’t help but cradle my head in my palm as I read about the UK’s new equality law this morning. In a nutshell the government is trying to get people to hire more women, blacks and homosexuals (their words not mine).

The media seem to have focused on the tv side of things what with the BBC being government run and subject to this new law. Shows like Top Gear and …

…

…well all the other male orientated shows that I can’t think of are coming under fire for not being ‘female friendly’.

And no, ads for nasal delivery technology do not count as male friendly programming.

Really, between all the shopping shows, reality tv, dating shows, talkback shows, midday movies, soap operas, cooking shows and dramas on television there clearly isn’t enough female friendly programming.

Personally, I know that when I sit down to watch ‘farmer wants a bachelor of our lives’ anatomy of the stars tonight’ I’m sitting there thinking ‘you know what would make this show better?’

More black asian women characters.

If you want to watch a segment on how to exit a bloody car park without smashing at least 5 other cars take a notepad and go sit in Chadstone car park for a few hours. You don’t need to ruin a perfectly good televsion show format just to prove a point.

It’s not like men are all of a sudden going to start demanding there be more male friendly programming in flagship female content. Although if Nigella Lawson finally gets her kit off well I’m not going to write in and complain.

The fact is there simply aren’t enough ‘adult only’ hours to provide males with targeted programming. Someone comes up with a successful format and the next thing you know British parliament passes a law demanding an end to it.

It’s not just tv that’s in trouble though. I mean imagine if you’ve just been raped and you rock up to a government run support centre. Are you going to feel comfortable spilling every raunchy detail to a black asian homosexual man? Yes that’s right, this isn’t just another step towards female over-equality, it has to work both ways.

Yeah who am I kidding, never going to happen.

Hey BBC, if you want to be more female friendly start up a new driving show to compete with Top Gear. Call it ‘I’m too scared to shift out of second gear-HEY YOU CAN’T TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE!’, hire the ugliest ‘average’ women you can find and cover things women like about cars:

The pretty colours, how many Ipod jacks there are, whether there’s a tampon holder and whether the seat covers are going to give Fifi a rash.

1. WAR ON MEN: Two Aussie women legally declared male
2. FINAL: Two Aussie women with vaginas legally male
3. So…what do Australian women want again?
4. Australian Govt to force more women into corporations
5. Women & Alcohol: va-va-voom or attractiveness doom?